The Accidental Meatloaf

It all started because there was a big sale on hamburger last week at the local grocery store. At $0.99 a pound I stocked up - since I’m a starving freelance writer and all… Anywhoo - I get it home and man, did I buy a lot and I started wondering what the heck I was going to do with all of it. A person can only eat so many lettuce wrapped hamburgers after all.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought I’d do some meatloaf. I’d make a lot and give some to Zelda who couldn’t cook her way out of a water boiling contest and maybe even roomie if he wasn’t a shit for a few days. So..it all settled nicely in my mind and I forgot about it.

Then one day the urge for meatloaf rang through my head on a particularly overcast and gloomy day. Love to cook when the weather is sad. So I pulled out a good chunk of hamburger to thaw in the morning. Well, bite me and slap me on the fanny when I was ready to make the darn stuff, I didn’t have the usual accroutements that I throw in there. In fact, I had precious little to make the meatloaf and I was in no mood to go to the store. So, I improvised - worst case scenario the dog would get some yummy treats and I’d have a couple of tablespoons of peanut butter for dinner.

To my utter shock and amazement, it turned out to be the best meatloaf I ever made and I make some awesome meatloaf. So… I share the recipe with you. Try it, you’ll love it.

1 big old hunk of ground beef

1 large egg

3 tablespoons of chopped cilantro

8 ounces of tomato sauce

4 tablespoons of 1/2 & 1/2 or blue cheese dressing if you’re out of cream

1 tablespoon of minced garlic

2 stalks finely minced celery

1/2 small minced brown onion

salt & pepper to taste

Mix all ingredients in a large bowl, using your hands - making sure all ingredients are thoroughly mixed. Form into a loaf and bake in a loaf pan (or whatever you normally use) in a 400 degree oven for 1.25 - 1.5 hours. Let rest for ten minutes before slicing.

I’m telling you folks, this is super yummy and I really regretted giving any of it away. In fact, I’m making another one right now.

Oooh and while we’re on the topic - I have great recipe for beet greens. Yup, that’s right beet greens. While it may be no suprise to some of you - I had no idea you could eat beet greens. I had grown some beets in my garden which I had pulled and made but had all the tops left. I happened to check to see if there was a recipe to make them and found a really super one.

Mess of beet greens, double cleaned, dried and torn into bite size pieces (including stems)

8 slices of bacon - the smokier the better

1/4 onion - chopped fine

1 tsp butter

2 TBS apple cider vinegar

2 TBS sugar (or splenda if you can’t have sugar)

Cook the bacon until it is 2/3 cooked, toss in chopped onion, if not enough bacon fat, add a little bit of butter, cook until onions are soft, slowly add in the greens, turning to wilt them - keep doing this until you’ve gotten all the greens in there and sauteed to a nice wilt with the leaves still a pretty bright green. Remove to a bowl. Add vinegar and sugar to the pan (turn off heat) and stir mixture into remaining juices in pan, once mixed, return the greens to pan and turn and toss until coated with the vinegar/sugar mixture. Serve immediately. Delish! Try it. BTW, the stems should be included as well, when cooked they have a wonderful beety flavor.

Okay, so this concludes our cooking class for today. WC

Can You Say- Snoozefest?

You know, I’ve was looking forward to 2008 for one reason and one reason alone - the presidential race. Certain that Hillary was going to run, I was overjoyed at the prospect of some real Hall of Fame Gaffs on her and her opponent’s part. Not to mention the fact that I really wanted to see one of those think pieces done by 60 Minutes, up close and personal with Bill and how he looked forward to being the first male First Lady.

I had my popcorn ready, my scorecards, my blank dvds for recording and several megs of space reserved just for all the fun. I was writing posts in my head with glee. In a phrase, I was into it.

Then it happened. The most boring, snoozefest primary cycle I have ever been witness to. That Hillary and Obama would be the last two standing was always a forgone conclusion - and unfortunately, for the Pubbies, so it seemed a forgone conclusion that Citizen McCane would get the nod. After all, he’d waited lo these many years to be paid back for supporting W (well, sorta) - but we were all hoping for something better. Rudy fell so flat as a candidate I’ll admit to being surprised, Ron Paul (the froot loop of the Universe - sorry Paul fans, the man should be on 24 hour watch and have his meds adjusted daily), Fred (I’m so bored wake me when it’s over) Thompson, Mike Crapabee who may still be able to get his preacher job back and then a bunch of other dudes who I never really heard of -Romney was but the one gleam of light (at least in my opinion) lleft for the pubblies. But no, they had to take the NYT to heart and listened to all the pollsters who by the way are awfully wrong a lot of the time. Bummer. Yawn, yawn, and yawn. The yawns just Kept on coming.

So, now we’re down to the wire and the pubbies have their guy but the dems, not so much. Thanks to the ever so bizarre and complicated rules that were rewritten a few years back - it seems that Hillary could still get the nod. Despite the fact that Obama is the second coming of Christ, is proof that we are no longer a seriously racist country (unless you ask Jeramiah), the best thing since sliced bread and apparently has a whole new angle on a platform “CHANGE” - yeah that’s original. Sorry folks, but I just don’t get the thing with Obama. Though he is highly educated I never heard a politician ah and er his way through so many sentences - his speeches are poorly recycled King speeches (who was the dude who really rawked), all fluff - like so much meringue. What’s there to love? Oh yeah, and for a guy who has a heart so filled with love, what’s up with the seriously scary and mean wife of his? The bottom line is on Hillary vs Obama the only difference is that he’s a he and she’s a she - they are both far left, want universal healthcare, to raise everybody’s taxes, except those who are on the dole and then they get everything for free, give driver’s licenses to illegals who sneak across the border and to revamp Nafta so we’ll pay even more for gas because we’ll lose our preferential treatment with Canada and Mexico. But hey, WTF do I know?

They all talk about how they are going to give us a break on gas taxes this summer. Big whoop - the oil companies will simply add that to their profit. And sorry folks, nope, you don’t get to blame the pubbies for that because they all wanted to drill in Anwar, with the latest, high tech, doesn’t disturb the enviornment methods - you shut them down - they wanted nuclear power and ah…nope, you won’t let them do that either. So, you can blame the libbies who blather about global warming on the steps to their private jets for that one. Oh and by the way, if we went to Iraq for oil, then why the frick are we paying $4 a gallon? I’m just saying, there is some flaw in logic there. And that’s just one example.

Once upon a time, I had an idea for a book where there was an election and nobody came - who knew I would be so prophetic? I’m wondering if anyone besides the candidates, the press and the pollsters are coming out for this one. If you ask me, it’s a snoozefest we can all see once it comes out on video.

WC

Message to the World

I caught this meme from my friend Teeni over at the Tea Room - the originator of which is here - and other samples of same are here. The idea is this: If you had but 150 characters (letters) to give one message to the world, what would it be?

I thought about this for quite a while, actually - I didn’t know if it should be funny, serious, wise, flip or somewhere in between. I finally settled on something that I truly believe - down to my toes:

The world is filled with beauty and exists at every turn. If we keep our heads up and focus, it comes to us and emanates from us to others. Pass it on.

Or if you prefer, the haiku version:

A beautiful world

reveals in sights, sounds, smells, tastes

eat full - pay forward.

So there you have it, my message to the world. I highly recommend that you try this - for as simple a thing as it is, it requires some real thought and consideration.

WC

You’ve Got to Have Friends

Today is an exciting day (well, actually yesterday, but I’m late in bringing it up) for a few friends of mine. One in particular, who has realized a longtime dream of a self-hosted blog. Which may not seem like much on the face of it, lots of people self-host and it seems it’s a natural progression once you’ve mastered the free hosting format.

But in my mind not all self-hosted blogs are created equally. Many of them are merely shells masquerading as blogs in order to monetize the owner’s life - some are just as blah as they were when they were free-hosted. This one is different. Perhaps because it is the result of vision and dreams and a labor of love.

In case you haven’t guessed, I’m talking about the new Smoke & Mirrors - captained by my good friend Michael. Many of you know him and his special way with words. He has let his readers in on some very personal aspects of his life and has provided (I think) new insights into a disease that ravishes many families worldwide - alzheimer’s. On the flip side, he has also provided us access to little known musical heroes, funny antecdotes and some really amazing poetry as well. His skills are enviable. So, if you’ve not visited him, then you should get your butt over there post-haste and discover him for yourself. He won’t disappoint and you’ll be hooked.

To help him along with his dream Moe and Kelly were there and at the ready. And after a very long week, they have created something that is utterly beautiful and even a little mysterious. A new home for Smoke and Mirrors and its readers. A place of solace and peace and beautiful words and images. Something truly Michael. I think they have somehow managed to manifest the man’s soul in this physical manifestation of this blog. It’s funny too, because to call it a blog doesn’t seem quite enough - because it will take your breath away.

Anyway, enough blathering - go take a look - make a comment or two or just peek through the windows. They’ll all be every so happy if you do.

Well done you guys - beautiful. Just beautiful. Friends are the best, aren’t they?

Things All Bloggers Know

Since I’ve been blogging now for almost two years (I can’t frickin’ believe that) I believe I have the experience and understanding of a seasoned blogger and can accurately discuss some blogging truisms (well, not really but that sure did sound good, didn’t it?). After a while though, there are certain things that you just come to know, just like you know that if you leave your underwear on the bathroom floor, they’ll be there tomorrow - unless you have an ocd spouse or a maid.

1. You will never find out what caused that stat spike/crash in the summer of 06. Additionally, no matter how often you check your blog stats per minute, hour or day, it is out of your hands.

2. Some people comment just to annoy you, so have fun with them.

3. You’re not as anonymous as you think - so you may want to rethink posting those pics of you on spring break.

4. Other bloggers will inexplicably add you or delete from their blogrolls. Also, there is never enough room on your sidebar for your blogroll. Nor will you ever have time to visit everyone on it.

5. There is no getting rid of spammers or sploggers, so live with it. Sometimes, I like to send them nasty emails but that becomes a bore after a while too.

6. The search terms by which people find your blog proves that google is smoking crack.

7. It ain’t cool to pimp for comments - no matter how badly you want them.

8. It is cool to do pimp posts for your fellow bloggers.

9. The most brilliant posts (in your opinion) or the ones of which you are most proud will get the lowest stats and comment count. Apparently, this is a universal law and there is no appeals court to change it.

10. The posts that you dash off without thinking will shoot your stats through the roof. Especially if it is one of those pissy, grumpy posts about something inconsequential that just happened to go up you ass the wrong way just as you sat down to blog.

11. Blogging in your underwear is fun but your readers don’t need to know. Then again, on some blogs, this may be appropriate and even expected.

12. If you change your theme, you’ll be in widget hell for at least a week. There is nothing that will screw up your sidebar more than deciding to change your theme - it also and often wreaks havoc with your custom header - so if you deleted that picture you could be spending hours looking for it again.

13. Everytime WordPress releases it’s new version, it will take you at least two weeks to get over your rage and frustration. Trust me though, the support team will ignore all your pleas to change it back - so…live with it or consider self-hosting.

14. Some bloggers have a lot to say, some have very little, this however, in no way affects your stats. Some of the stupidest blogs in the universe have some of the best stats - conversely some of the best blogs in the universe are well-kept secrets. No, this isn’t fair, however, that doesn’t change the truth.

15. If people like your blog they will try to copy it in some way, just as you do of other’s blogs. You should be flattered when someone tries to imitate things you do or have done on your blog, they are saying by imitating you that they admire what you have done. However, don’t mistake this with ripoff artists.

16. If you post something highly controversial, have a detailed list of comebacks/retorts prepared for the flamers who will inevitably show up - or turn comments off on the post. It’s either full on debate or dive behind the couch - unfortunately, no middle ground here.

17. The best blog posts are usually rants or things that make people cry. Everything else is a crapshoot. I guess people just want to feel something??????

18. Always keep a current backup of your blog(s) in case the worst happens and it usually does.

19. Though a few people get ‘discovered’ through their blogs the chances are it won’t happen to you. It’s okay to have your snazzy new Ray Bans ready, in the event that Hollywood or William Morris discovers you but if you’re saving them for that, you may never get the chance to wear them.

20. If you got paid for all the time you spent blogging, thinking about blogging, looking for stuff to blog about and reading blogs, you’d never have to work another day in your life and could probably power your home with the leftover energy.

21. The really truest truism about blogging is that once you’re hooked - it’s all over.

Feel free to add to the list.

WC

Scam Alert

Beware ladies, this is not an official mammogram and may result in questionable readings. Please do not confuse the man-o-scam for the real thing. Although it probably doesn’t hurt as much.

WC

Blotted

The clouds blotted
the color from the sky
leaving cool grey
to whisper its song
My melancholy sang along
and peered to find the sun

The path was strewn
with trash and disregard
and I stepped over it
too tired to fight
the battle of apathy
the arrogrance of self absorption

Birds remained hidden
and clustered in trees
ignoring their hunger
and opting for safety
Quietly chirping tomorrow will be better
fluttering wings agree

I lock the door
against the day
forget my purpose in tumbling from bed
pull the ratty sweater around me
Nod my head to inner thoughts
Quiet my dreams for another day.

copyright 2008

The Bondage of Stuff

(I dedicate this to my friend Ange, who was the inspiration. WC)

Okay man,
I’ve had enough
I’m gettin’ over
my bondage of stuff

Not takin’ things
off the cuff
Gotta throw away
what’s in my duff

If you get in my way
I could get gruff
So shut your mouth
don’t gimme no guff

Gonna blow this down
gonna have to huff
gotta turn it around
gonna have to puff

And when I’m thru
it might be rough
Cuz Lord knows
I’ll miss my stuff

But I’m keepin’ my prayer
of hangin’ tough
Cuz I just can’t live
in the Bondage of Stuff.

copyright 2008

De-Crapifying My Life

Do you ever wonder, where the hell you got half the crap you have laying around your house? I do. In fact, that’s all I’ve been doing for the last couple of days and most intensively the last few hours. Everywhere I looked there was crap, junk, dust collectors, cluge. Drives me crazy.

Well, maybe it doesn’t drive me that crazy since I seem to let it pile up, until I’m about ready to have a serious head implosion - then I get a big trash bag and get to work. The fun thing about doing this is in trying to remember what inspired you to buy some of crap you end up pitching. “Why did I buy that book? How many vases do I actually need? When did I become enamored with Goth lipstick?”

Although, that’s the least of it. For me, it’s the paper. The notes. The scribbles. The mystery phone numbers and 8,000 receipts for God knows what because I can’t even read them, let alone figure out what they are for. Then there are the drawers - same - old gum wrappers, miscellaneous hardware for curtain rods that no longer exist. Empty check boxes, old batteries - and really who needs 7 glue sticks? Oh, and when did I begin collecting the business cards of strangers? Who are these people? I have absolutely no memory of them. Guiltily I begin thinking about all the sacrificed trees for those little rectangles of mystery people’s identities.

Though all of this is just a microcosm of what is to come. Time to assess once again where things are with me. Where the crap is and to divest myself of it. I like to call this getting organized, maybe preparing to deliver? I don’t know, call it what you like - but it’s time to get rid of the mental and spiritual cluge too. That stuff in my head and my life that collects dust and dirt and obscures my thinking and actions. Actually figure out where I’ve submitted things and where I need to, who I’ve queried and who I should, where I’ll find work - taking stock, getting busy, blah, blah.

I love to moan and groan about all this stuff, and my back is none too pleased either but the truth is, I actually find throwing stuff away quite exhilerating and freeing. I guess I’ve always liked traveling light and when I start feeling bogged down, I get grumpy.

So anyway, for the next little while I’m going to be de-crapifying things. What about you? Packrat or de-crapifyer?

WC

New Product?

So…what do you think? Could this be a best seller or what? WC