I Think my Job is Making me Sick
I went home from work early yesterday and took a sick day today. I’ve just been feeling crappy. Aching, exhausted, light-headed and just generally beat to hell. It’s probably just the heat and not being hydrated enough. Since I (conveniently) work in a doctor’s office, they took my vitals and everything checked out. Could be a bug or a virus or something. But it’s probably the heat.
But it’s had me thinking. I’ve made no secret that my current job has been quite the rollercoaster ride from day one and there are days I truly threaten to jump out the first floor window – but maybe it’s more than that. I feel like I’ve changed. I don’t laugh as much, I’m tired a lot. I’ve gained weight (as though I needed more of that!), my appetite is weird. I don’t want to see friends or do things. I just want to hide in my room and read or surf the web. I haven’t had a real adventure in ages and lately I just feel old and used up.
Can a job do that to you, or is it a coincidence? Can it really change your demeanor and outlook on life? Can it turn you from an optimistic goofball to a pessimistic grumbler? Make you feel uggo when you used to think you were pretty cute. Make you second guess yourself, lose confidence? I wonder. Because all of that and more has happened since I started there.
I’m sure the common response will be “Quit, who needs that?” But it’s not that simple. I have financial obligations, I need to eat, a place to live, food for my dog and cat, Internet connection, phone and so on. I’m not a twenty something up and commer who would have her choice of any kind of job out there. And even if I were, good paying jobs don’t grow on trees as Ma used to say.
So, what do you do when your job seems to be eating you alive but you have to keep it? I’ve tried compartmenting it in my mind. You know the routine, leave the job at the office and enjoy your life once you’re out of there. But by the time I get home, I just want to bury my head. I have no energy for anything. I force myself to do things – the laundry, cook dinner, blog, take care of the garden – but my heart isn’t in it.
What do you do when you’re in this situation? Or are you in this situation or ever been in this situation. I’m curious to know. I sometimes think that everyone goes through this and I’m just being a whiner and need to get over myself – other times I’m not so sure.
What do you think?
WC
I once had a situation similar but mine escaladed to resentment. I was unable to find that peace, outlet, fun, liveliness…. I was dying slowly…. it was draining the life right out!
I use to love going to work, and then one day out of the middle of no where I was done. I had similar symptons as you in the beginning. (There also was a shift of employees and though they were not “bad” they were not the folks I had worked with for the many years before.)
I believe we give and feed off of eachothers energies. Is someone in the office maybe over whelming your energy, or maybe sucking it up for their own (Maybe without realizing it)
Try visualizing your energy coming back to you. Gather is back into your body. It may not work over night but it couldn’t hurt.
I ended up putting in for a transfer to a new location. (Same company) I am so happy. Of course there are sometimes I’d rather be at home relaxing….. But ….
I am alive again!
Hey Lucid,
To answer your question, yes, someone (everyone) is sucking up my energy. I’m the one who gets all the crap to deal with. Whatever bad news there is, it’s on me to handle. A transfer isn’t possible for me. But I think I should start looking for a replacement job soon.
WC
Hugs to my friend Annie.
I wonder how much of this stems from your job or if it maybe isn’t even your job at all?
Could it be the issues with the book? I know many writers have written about their feelings surrounding trying to get that book accepted and published – it sort of take s over everything.
I’m with Lucid about visualizing the energy coming back and I’d add – some peace inside your heart and head. It can be done, believe me, I know. I’m one hard headed woman and if I can do it, so can you.
Give yourself a bit of a break – have a kit-kat and do whatever it is you need to do to relax. Make some room for peace inside you. Please? Rest, be good to Annie and maybe even just turn off your computer and go out for a walk, or better yet, a vacation.
I care. We all care.
Peace, love and understanding.
Hey Roobs,
As usual, you are the voice of reason. I don’t know if it has anything to do with the agent/publishing quest. I’m sure that’s added to the stress as well. I’m not sure I know how to do this visualization thing – how does it work?
LOL – a kitkat, eh? Personally, I’m a snickers gal.
WC
I’m no doctor, but it might be stress. I’d prescribe some gypsy tears, essence of toadstool, and ground mermaid umbilical cord.
But seriously, if you can, take a few days off of work. It can do nothing but good.
Hey DT,
I’d like nothing better than to take a few days off. Not sure I could swing it but I think I’ll look into it. The idea of going to one of those mineral springs spas and just being disconnected from all of it sounds good about now.
WC
I just read a book called The Art of Happiness at Work by the Dalai Lama. Now, I’m a newcomer to anything Buddhist, but am finding some real helpful things there. I found this writing to be real down to earth and accessible and it helped me get some perspective on the concept of working and different ways to look at the work itself. I had issues with my job, but have found a way to make peace with them. Finally.
I’m sorry you’re down right now and I think we all feel exactly like you do at times. Like Ruby said, the soul-suckers are the ones you have to watch out for. They can fuck up a group dynamic something terrible and leave you feeling drained and sick. Hang in there, and feel free to vent all you want. That’s what we’re here for.
Hey Karen,
Thanks for understanding and your support. It does help to vent. And yeah, soul suckers just about says it.
You know, I think part of the problem is that my last job for all of its faults was just better for me. They were creative and they fed my creative side happily and often. If it hadn’t been for the fact that they were always on the brink of shutting down I’d still be there.
WC
Everyone goes through this, but that doesn’t make you a whiner – or at least, any more of a whiner than the rest of us.
What’s worked for me, so far, is two parts “This, too, shall pass” combined with one part “If you really think you can do this better, please feel free to try, but remember, it’s going to cost you even more when you call me back.”
Hey CG,
LOL – you certainly have the right philosophy – and if it weren’t for the fact that I’ve gotten to this place where I have decided I just have to put my foot down when it comes to certain things, I might be willing to ride it out. But as they say, life is too short.
WC
WC, I’m in the same boat.
I think that, YES, our jobs can make us sick, mentally and physically. I can’t change it easily either, for some of the same reasons. Mortgage, other bills, the hope to someday retire, a cat who depends on me to keep her in catnip.
Last August I: quit a job that made me miserable, moved 1200 miles to a new city, new job, and I ended up in a remarkably similar situation as the one I left.
So what’s the deal? My therapist sees these kinds of patterns as normal, and negative ones as that which we have to work to change. It isn’t that we ask for crap jobs or “deserve” them somehow, but that we tend to repeat the same patterns until we notice/learn/realize and find a way out of them.
We’re kidding ourselves if we think it will be easy, of course.
There are things we can do – work on the resume, figure out what it is about our jobs that we dislike, and what we should look for in the next job to prevent that same situation, and using that, ask the right questions as we go through the process of job hunting (something I detest) and accepting only the job that is right for us.
I have known for better than 2 weeks that I need to start this process, and I have yet to even open my resume.
Luckily for me, I have only a year’s worth to update since the last time.
I don’t sleep very much because if I let myself be other than sleep deprived I have a hard time falling asleep. I take 5-HTP almost every morning at work, because it is the only thing that helps me get through the day. I find myself suffering from sharp headaches, pressure behind my eyes, and unexplainable nausea. Sometimes I can’t eat. (I call it the 2nd level of stress – the first gives me munchies, the second makes me unable to eat) I sometimes cry at my desk, just those leaking tears of hopelessness. My moods, my depression, are quite often driven by my job. Which I find unacceptable, and is honestly the driving reason for my conviction that a new job is necessary for me.
Anyway…you’ve watched office space, right? If not, rent it. It is a little bit of necessary humor for us office drones.
I think the point about writing is valid as well – I’m not living my dream, and I’ve never actually tried. I have some huge mental blocks there, which I’m working on. I don’t know that it is the same for you, since it seems that you’re actively looking for a publisher. But yes, having to have a job that is not your dream certainly adds to it. But it doesn’t have to make us miserable, does it?
Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t have just become a bartender instead.
*hugs*
Hey Deb,
It is almost eerie how what you said could have come out of my mouth – nearly word for word. But I think yours must be worse if you have to take the HTP-5 just to get through the day. Cripes. What a pickle.
Bartending is fun – have you ever done it? I waited tables and bartended for years. It just got too hard on the bod. Being on my feet all the time. I don’t know if I have to have a dream job – but do think I need a job that doesn’t mess with my soul so much. Too much bad news all the time in this one. Something is either breaking, exploding, complaining, demanding special treatment or threatening.
I think it’s interesting what you said about the pattern thing – many of my jobs do fit this type of pattern. I think it is because I am one of those people who is willing to handle flack and bad news and I’m good at it. The only problem is that it depresses the hell out of me after a while. I start to long for some good news or nice people to talk to. I’m sure you know what I mean.
Thanks for your great and understanding comments.
WC
You look for another job while you have this one. I know it’s not that easy, getting time for interviews, phonecalls etc, but unless you look, nothing will change will it? Of course the other option is to talk to your boss. I’m enjoying my job at the moment, but ONLY because I know it’s short term and not a career as such. I do know exactly how you feel though. I’ve been there. And it sucks. All I can say is, it will get to a point where enough is enough and you will go looking. Hey if you need a reference, just yell darl
I’m pretty sure there are a whole bunch of us here who would gladly say all the right things for you and we wouldn’t be lying…
Cheers, Kelly
LOL Kel,
Yeah, all my references will come from overseas, despite the fact that I’ve never been. Too funny.
Yes, looking for another one while I have this one, seems to be the solution – but oh how I hate to look for jobs. Still, it seems the ultimate solution.
Annie
One word WC “PROZAC”
Hey Ger,
Nope, I don’t do that stuff. In my mind, it just opens a fresh can of worms to deal with. I’m more of a vitamin, holistic approach kind of gal.
WC
The workplace and the politics that go along with it are a perpetual mystery to me.
I use to be so optimistic; constantly looking for ways to improve protocols, brighten up the common areas (decorating and making “monthly themes” for everyone to participate – to boost morale. But, some people are so lazy, negative, spewing ugliness, and passing the buck – that at times I am like, “Why do I even try!” .
You are the manager, right? I can see why you get more frustrated because it’s gotten “old” and you are run down.
I really like Kelly’s suggestion; If it’s that bad, you can always put your resume out there and see what happens. “You’ve got nothing to lose” attitude. Something better might come along. BUCK UP LITTLE CAMPER!
Hey Bella,
Oh yeah, I’ve tried that too. I bring doughnuts and fresh fruit for the staff. Try to get them to spruce up the place. I can’t tell you how much crap I’ve thrown out, how many old files I’ve sent to storage and how many reorganizations I’ve done since I’ve been there. Still, no one is impressed or interested. Unless of course the doctor mentions something about it and then they are jumping all over each other taking credit for it. Yeah, it’s great.
WC
I must point out here that when I filled out the application for my current job, I listed the reason for leaving a previous job as “mutual illness.” Asked to explain, I said: “I was sick of them and they were sick of me.”
Now that’s funny!
Wc
Hi WC,
Many years ago I received one of those chain letters advising bad luck if I didn’t pass it on. I threw it away, and by pure coincidence, a couple of hours later I had a very minor accident, as happens all the time to everyone.
I found myself brooding on it, and soon other ‘disasters’ started happening, in my personal life, to others close to me – it took me several days to pull myself together and realise that nothing had happened out of the ordinary.
It’s just life – we cope, or we go under. And somehow I can’t see you going under.
Hey Anthony,
You’re right, I’m not likely to go under – and yeah, it is just life. But cripes, once in a while I’d like it to be nice. I guess it’s too much to ask for though.
WC
I went through it and quite a position of power and better money for a low paying one that I love. Sometimes money isn’t everything. And now I am climbing my way up as far as power goes. Sometimes one has to just say screw it and do what your heart tells you to do.
Hey Evyl,
I remember that. I’m glad you went back to the one you loved. That’s great. I wish I could, but the company essentially no longer exists. But yeah, it would be good to find something that made me happy. I don’t even care so much about the money. It’s nice but I’ve survived on less.
WC
i’ve been in this situation. What i recommend is reflection. Be sure of where these feelings are coming from so that you can deal with the root of it, whatever it is.
Also, i encourage you to make yourself go out with your friends. You may no feel like it initially, but after your out and having a good time, then you’ll feel better. Take care of yourself, treat yourself.
Yes, your job is important to live, pay bills, eat and all that good stuff, your job is not a 24/7 deal.
Now go take a hot bath!
Hey Christine,
LOL – a hot bath in this weather could be challening. Also, I have a shower and I don’t think I have a bucket big enough for a bath. Seriously, thanks for the kind words and thoughts.
Chica
To me, you have two choices, one, change your situation or two, change your perspective of your situation. Since you already stated that quiting is not an option, then it is a matter of changing your perspective. Make a decision to make the situation fit you and not you succumb to the situation.
Hey Mark,
I resolve to do that everyday – but it isn’t easy and I’m not sure making it fit me is an option. There is much I have no control over – and changing it simply can’t be done. Still, I’m trying.
WC
P.S. Please excuse my typos!
No worries, I didn’t even notice them.
WC
Top of the morning to you, an Old Used Up Annie.
I’d just reading how you are feeling and was thinking Hey! I feel similar to that and I don’t have a job…I don’t think I have ever felt uggo as I don’t know what it means, I never heard of that word before. ( what does it mean? ).
. My friend suggessted to me I write a gratitude list.” A gratitude list I scream, why don’t you ask someone elese don’t you know my minds like a friggin theroputic worksheet as it is.” 
I barely have the energy to breath never mind write what I’m grateful about” she says ” well why not try to be grateful for that little bit of energy you do have, it’s getting you a breath” Anyway I’m going off track here.
I think sometimes we have periods like this don’t we. I’m just coming out of one.
What I was thinking when I was reading you was; Maybe you could sit in the garden and make some nice outfits for those melons of yours.I’m thinking leather as I have your melons in my head as gimp melons. Hey!! I’m grateful that I read your melon story and now have that peculiar,odd thought in my head.Hehe!! It’s a first for me is that. I’ve never had a large dressed up melon in my head before.:)
I think we have just got to sit these periods out… I SO know the feeling of not wanting to be around friends, all the beautiful things that make my day worthwhile go out of the window. I get very dark, then something ‘pops up’ like you writing about how you feel right now, which kinda makes me want to feel ‘part of’ again and just gives me that little bit more energy. Funny how things seem to happen and work isin’t it.
Your in my thoughts today Annie.
Hugs Diane
Thanks Di! I love the idea of the costumes, I wonder if I could sew that well. Will have to do some thinking on this. But what a good laugh you gave me.
Hugs,
Annie
Hey Annie,
I agree with the visualising energy coming back to you. The way to really protect yourself from negative energies and to stop the draining of your own energy is to visualise white light around you before you walk in the door. In your case I would sit quietly for five minutes before you go to work, or do it in transit and visualise (or just ask for, if you aren’t visual and find that difficult) white light around you, then surround that with violet light and then throw either a shield of lead around that so nothing can penetrate your energy space, and/or a shield of mirrors so that other peoples’ crap just gets reflected back to them so they can see their own behaviour. the ’shields’ just look like an egg surrounding you. This is very effective stuff, I promise
Sending you love xo
Hey Simonne,
Wow, you know how to do this stuff, don’t you? Does it really work? I will have to give it a try. I’ve never done anything like this. I wonder what will happen.
WC
I dont know MsChick. I work at home, for my home, and I can’t quit. I have no advice for you but do what makes you happy.
I hope you have a great week!
Hey Red,
Thanks for checking in and the well wishes – they help.
WC
Oh, Honey that’s really awful. I went through the same thing when I did Customer Service for a company about 12 years ago. I got sick frequently, was in a bad mood, gained weight, etc., etc. It took about a year for the constant bad news to catch up and start taking its toll. What I did to handle it was get myself replaced and transferred to sales instead. I know you don’t have that option where you’re at. Short of quitting your job, I would suggest you read the newly released Problems of Work and see what he says about it. Meanwhile, you should take a weekend trip somewhere quiet and pretty and just relax, get some clean air and aesthethic surroundings.
L,
J
Hey Ducks,
the weekend trip sounds awfully good – I’m really thinking about that. It is the bad news that seems to constantly come on my plate that bugs me. Seems like that’s all I get – and it just does wear on you after a while. Too bad Texas is too far for a weekend road trip.
Duckie
The key is that you do have control over your perception and how you choose to see everything at work. Hope this week is better for you!
I hope so too – thanks for the thoughts.
WC
Hey Annie, yes, it’s certainly one of my life paths and I seem to be getting more clients and doing more readings for people as time goes on, so I’m going with the flow!
Yes, it works. Please try it. And if you feel your energy waning throughout the day, just put the shields back in place. The mirror shield is one of my favourites.
Hope today is a good day xx
Hey Simonne,
Well I don’t know if I managed to pull this off – but there is one employee in particular who really drains me and she was using me as her giant brain, if you know what I mean? Anyway, I decided that whatever question she asked me, I would ask her the question back until she figured out the answer. It seemed to work. Is that like the mirror thingie?
WC
Me? The voice of reason? I’m not sure how I feel about that.
Simonne had a good suggestion for sure. Just because you haven’t tried it doesn’t mean you can’t do it though.
You said: “not sure I know how to do this visualization thing – how does it work?”.
I’ve been trying to think of ways to do this without it sounding terriby corny but you can try the inner smile meditation by when you find yourself in a tough situation, this meditation can give you an instant “boost” of positive feeling.
Imagine that you’re looking at your face in a mirror. Watch yourself smile and your eyes light up with joy. Notice how beautiful you look when you smile, appreciate how positive smiling makes you feel. Breathe deeply bringing that positive feeling to life within you in the present moment.
A meditation i went and looked up is:
Focus on a pebble. You can use this pebble as a taliman to act as a focus for your ambitions and goals. Hold the pebble in your hand and focus your attention on it. Look at the smooth grain and the variations in hue, and feel the cool hardness of the pebble against your hand.
Now close your eyes and sqeezing the pebble tightly in one hand, wish for the fulfilment of an important dream or goal. As you do so, imagine the pebble glowing in your hand, changed by the energy, charged with the energy of your wish.
Put the pebble in a place where you will see it on a daily basis to remind you of your goal. Whenever you are about to take a step towards achieving your goal and require an extra boost, squeeze the pebble in your hand to summon your energies and focus your mind. As well as pebbles, there are many other things you can use as talismans – semi precious stones, crystals, etc.
Just a couple of ideas you can try and it does take some practice and concentration.
I only mention it because you ask. You have the energy of the whole universe to draw from.
Much love,
N.
Hey N.
Yes, you are the voice of reason, whether you like it or not.
It’s funny you should mention the smile thing because a dear blogger friend sent me an email yesterday, essentially telling me the same thing. Just reading her email and your comments here did my heart good. I am practicing to be less sucked of the soul.
WC
I hereby vow to be as totally UNreasonable as I possibly can.
My next suggestion is to go to a costume store and buy one of those masks – it’s plastic glasses and a banana nose.
Wear that to work. It will keep you and everyone around you smiling all day. Really, it will!
Well my own face is remarkably similar to that and now that you mention there is a lot of laughing going on. Hmmmm…..
WC
Please correct my spelling errors in the post above the post above this one? I don’t know what’s wrong with me but when I comment on blogs I tend to misspell everything!
I must be blind, I didn’t see any.
WC
Hi,
hmmm — I have a job that would be perfect, if only the people who work around me every day would actually talk to me and treat me like a human being. For my first couple of years here, the people were fine, then a bunch of c-workers left and new ones came in, and everything changed. After a few years of trying to be a part of group events but being ignored, I stopped trying to find any social connection at work and focused on home and neighborhood. I have been in the situation for 6 years now, and yes, it really brings me down sometimes. I stay here for the money, it’s the best job I’ve ever had. But still, I think some people, and you sound like this, thrive on having open, spntaneous, expressive exchanges with the people around you. I am like that.
This job has changed me — I went from open and kind of giggly and very attentive to others, to 100% detached and silent, at least at the office. It sucks — and I am getting my resume together.
Hey IBV,
Sounds like we’ve had similar experiences. I wish you luck with your job search.
wc
I know I’m a little late in jumping in. But your post sounds like I could have written it. Today I got a written warning at work. Next step is they give me the “final warning” (which sounds like I’m going to be murdered) and then the pink slip. I have been n my job for 5+ years and never liked it, not from day one. I don’t know what else to do. I used to be a writer but this job has spoiled my writing for me. I work on my attitude every day but it’s not helping.
I don’t know what to say but hang in there. And visit my blog and e-mail me if you want to talk further. We writers must stick together!!! Take care, stay well.
Hey Sandra,
Wow girl, do I hear you. I know just how you feel. But hey if the job is murdering your creative energy it isn’t good for you and I’d say get the heck out of there. In my case, I’ve experienced similar stuff which is why I’ve decided to give notice tomorrow. I hate doing that sort of thing, but once I’ve said it out loud it will be okay. Frankly, I’d rather shampoo dogs or be a checker at Trader Joe’s than to do what I’m doing. I need to commit to the writing and let the job just be a job, a means to an end.
Have you heard about nanowrimo? Maybe if you just jumped into that it would help rev up your creative side and make things more bearable? Feel free to come by any time and email me if you like too.
We writers must stick together. Amen. Take care.
WC
Just know that you are not alone. My job gave me sciatica. Now I am partially disabled and it is because of the stress and the sitting. I still can’t believe that I let this happen to me.
My big complaint is that everything is subjective at work and there are no solid answers for anything. Also, they expect you to worship the company. I only worship God, thank you!
Sincerely,
Annette in MN
Hi Annette and welcome. I’m so sorry to hear that you suffered such a bad physical condition. It’s true that one of the worst things about most work places is that things are arbitrary and rarely based on the productiveness of any given employee, but rather on popularity. I hope that your condition improves and that you find something that brings you joy in your next working venture. Merry Christmas, dear.
WC
Dear WC,
I have an update to my situation! I have been praying about this and God told me to just hang in there. Yesterday I was laid off and offered a severence pkg. I am free!! Now I can take a breath and get away from that cult-like company. When I look for another position, I know what I don’t want. The other thing someone told me was to do contract work and that way you move around and don’t stay one place long enough to get in the situation where you are sick of it. I started swimming every day and my sciatica is getting better! Now that I am not working there, I can see if I get better and then I know it was the job making me sick. I googled “signs of a toxic workplace” and it was very enlightening. Check it out and see if you recognize any of the symptoms.
God’s speed,
Annette
Hi Annette,
I’m so glad that things seem to be turning toward the better for you. Though, a small suggestion – rather than focus on what you don’t want, try focusing on what you do want – e.g. nice, cooperative co-workers, challenging work that gives you a sense of satisfaction, flexible hours or working conditions, an office with a window – whatever you do want. I think that way you will have a much better chance of getting a job that is good for you.
You might enjoy contract or temp work, it does enable you to have a change and not get stuck in a particular place.
I’m very happy for you.
WC
P.S. I am looking for some kind of work-from-home position. Does anyone have any ideas?
Annette
There are all kind of at home things you can do. If you like selling you could set up an Ebay store – do freelance writing, if you do books you could start your own bookeeping company. It depends on your skilllset and what you like to do. Check the Small Business Administration’s website and see if they have suggestions – I think too they may have job counselors who could help you.
Good luck!
WC
Hello WC-
This is an update. IT HAS BEEN A LONG YEAR–I have been off work now for 2 months and I am almost 100% better–So I guess it was the job after all. I didn’t mention it before, but they were really playing favorites and playing a lot of dirty politics at work. I am still looking for a new position, but I am glad that I got out of there. Thank you for the advice about looking for the positive things that I want in a position rather than the negetives. I have been doing a lot of reading and soul searching. How is your job going?
Sincerely,
Annette
Hi Annette,
Thanks for coming back and giving me an update. I’m glad that you have stepped away from the toxic job and are feeling better. Sometimes, we really do have to, don’t we? Yes, I’m all too familiar with the playing of favorites and office politics – it’s sad really that people feel they have to do such things to survive but at least you are no longer a victim to it. I hope you find something that is good for you and makes you feel happy and productive.
I am currently self employed – and while it can be a bit scary at times, I think it is the right route for me. I am still finding my way but somehow managing. It is very liberating being the master of your own fate, though not for everyone, I highly recommend it to anyone who has an adventurous spirit and some guts.
I hope everything works out for you, Annette, and please do keep me posted.
BTW, I’ve moved my blog to: http://writerchicktalks.com and I’d love it if you dropped by. Tomorrow I will be doing a post about the impact of women on the internet which you may find interesting.
WC
Hey WC,
I definitely share your anxiety towards work. I have always hated waking up to go to school / work. As a kid I would try anything to get out of going to class. Now, as an adult, I’ve already lost a job (with an incredibly mean asshole boss) due to calling in sick too often. After being fired my anxiety settled and I was fine… That is until my bank account ceased to exist.
That is about the time I landed my current job. I now work for the ex-president of the company I was fired from. He couldn’t stand the boss at the old company either. My current boss is a great and fair man, I have no complaints about him. BUT my anxiety is back again, this time worse than before.
This morning after getting out of bed, getting dressed and heading out the door, I started to feel really bad pains in my stomach. It was like someone was twisting & turning it. It wasn’t long before I started vomiting and couldn’t stop. I was hunched over leaning on a cemetery fence. At the moment I was wishing I were one of the many resting peacefully 6 feet under on the other side of the fence. I didn’t let myself dwell on that thought too long before I started to dream of the total annihilation of the entire human species.
That certainly isn’t logical thinking though so I forced my mind past that line of thinking and pressed onward. I got my morning cup of coffee and jumped on the train. Here I am at work, feeling like crap, wishing I were still home in bed.
Its not even like my job is horribly stressful, my boss is nice & understanding, and I have A LOT of down time. While two of my co-workers get on my nerves on a regular basis, they don’t insult me or put me down. The thing about them that annoys me is their stupidity and lack of manners & common courtesy.
If only I won the lotto the other day….
Hey Dude,
Maybe you need to go into biz for yourself. It’s not easy but it will probably help you with those strange aches and pains. Or just save up til you have enough money to take a few months off and do that. Nothing is worth your health or your sanity.
WC
I found this by Googling “My job is making me miserable.” I have anxiety, have trouble sleeping because I’m thinking about work and I don’t feel like trying to engage any of the people I work with in conversation anymore. It’s not the job I hate, it’s the people. I dread coming into work, knowing I’ll be demeaned and talked down to over some little double-standard nitpick because my boss has made me his scapegoat. (I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m at least 8 years younger than everyone, the only female and am the only one who has worked there less than 6 years — I’ve been there one.) It’s so sad that people don’t know how to work in a team or manage a staff and it literally ruins other people’s lives. I try to work harder because I’m scared of getting yelled at for not doing enough, but I try less, doing less creative and enterprising things, just trying to reach the output demanded at me, even if I sacrifice quality. Of course, I’m sure I’ll get belittled over quality now too. Working for jerks is awful. …Thanks for letting me vent.
Hi Julie,
No worries, we all have to vent sometimes. Maybe you should look into some type of work that you really enjoy and with people who are easier to work with. I know that sounds easier than it really is but it’s something to think about. Good luck, hope you feel better soon.
WC
I have stumbled across your website this morning, it is 06:15am and i have been awake since 3:30 this morning unable to sleep due to thinking about going to work today.
I took Wed, Thurs and Friday as annual leave which my boss was not too happy about but I really cannot face going back.
I was in a job for 8 years which I loved however due to my boss being made redundant I decided it was time for a change and found a job which on paper sounded ideal however in reality, the job is so depressing, the people are not nice and would stab you in the back at any point to make themselves look good to the boss. Everyone plays the blame game and God forbid if you should spell something incorrectly in an e-mail, they come down on you like a ton of bricks.
I am the breadwinner in the household and cannot afford to be out of a job however I am taking more and more days off sick and I have already been called into the office to discuss this (no warning was given though) but feel that it will only be a matter of time before this occurs. I am currently looking at new jobs however I am useless at interviews, I have no self confidence which doesn’t bode well when people meet me for the first time but I know that I am good at what I do but cannot even remember my name at interviews.
Sorry to spout!
Lisa x
Hi Lisa,
I feel your pain and know just what you are talking about. Being dependent on your job and unable to quit does make it even more difficult too. If you want my advice, I would say first find an activity outside of the workplace that really makes you happy, inspires you, makes you feel good about yourself. This might give you more balance and help to reinstill your self esteem. Nothing destroys us quicker than when we turn on ourselves, you know? Keep looking for a better job – or maybe even contact your old workplace and see if they might want you back or would consider hiring you on a consultant or project basis. That might cover you until you can find a decent job that doesn’t make you feel like crap.
Good luck – hope it all works out for you.
WC
Uhhh, I am having the same experience right now. I was/am in the same boat as you were with the energy being sucked dry and wondering if it is just me being a baby or something more.
I have been thinking it over and tommorow I am going down to corporate and putting in my two weeks. I really do need a job for all of the same reason you mentioned minus the dog and cat. However, I have been thinking, it is probably more important to be happy than to have money. I will find a new job someday, hopefully sooner than later.
The other thing with my job is that is is industrial work in a factory. It is boring, repetative and also the morale on the floor is very low due to the way corporate treats us(as in, you guys are replaceable so why should we treat you with dignaty or respect)
Well anyway this job pays decent around 30,000 a year but I figure that there is always jobs out there waiting tables or tending bar. As far as these hospitality jobs go, I have always enjoyed them.
Anyway, screw this job. I don’t want to work for a corporation that makes substandard food that isn’t healthy and have to work with people who are constantly pissed off. I want to write, sing and act. Those are my dreams and I am going to follow them.
All the best!
Johnny Justice
Hi Johnny and welcome.
Yes, jobs really can suck the life out of you and it’s always a quandry about whether to stick it out or go for something that just makes you happy. I juggle with that constantly, as do most I think.
I think that people in general just want to feel appreciated and the nature of most jobs is such that that isn’t any part of the equation. Whether it’s an oversight or people are just too introverted into their troubles or just don’t give a damn, I don’t know – but I do think people would be happier and do better in their jobs if someone just said, ‘hey, thanks for your hard work today.’ I think it would make a huge difference. I wonder if anyone would ever try it though.
Good luck with your artistic pursuits – dreams are the things that make life worthwhile.
Writer Chick