Now – Theme Friday
If I knew then what I know now – how things would have been different. My choices would have followed a different path. My heart wouldn’t have risked it all for the nothing that lie ahead.
I would have been braver and smarter. No – I would have been wiser.
I wouldn’t have bestowed my trust so easily – believed your words so completely. I wouldn’t have needed to because I wouldn’t have needed you.
I would have believed in me instead of you. I would have listened to the alarms sounding in my head. Danger. I wouldn’t have doubted my own truth and understanding.
If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have spent my tears on such worthless folly. I wouldn’t have handed over my dreams to one who didn’t value or care for them.
I wouldn’t have tried to save you from yourself, nor pawned my loyalty off to the lowest bidder.
But now I see. So clearly. All of it. I see the plan in which I was the disposable pawn. Check Mate. Stale Mate. Queen takes King. Game over.
My words had meaning because I meant them but yours were just words uttered toward an end of unknown motive.
If I knew then what I know now, it would have been different. It would have been better. I would have been safe.
But you cannot know what you haven’t learned. And you cannot learn if you do not try.
No regrets.
No shame.
Lesson learned.
copyright 2009
What’s happening with Christine, now?
Oh man, and how!
i’ve got to say, these are thoughts i think we’ve all thought about a million times. It’s hurtful sometimes, the way life works, and when Now is The End, when we can’t really do much about it, is when we know all that we need. It’s not in vain though- or at least it wouldn’t be if we’d only listen to those with experience. Of course we like things the hard way- at least i do. And even when we do listen, a situation never occurs or resolves the same way twice. Like snowflakes.
Good work, Chica. This feels personal and i love that intimacy.
Hey Chica,
Yeah, I think you’re right. Like snowflakes. I’m afraid it is personal in an odd backhanded sort of way. I will say these recent prompts have forced some surprising things out of me – I don’t have the compulsion any more to censor myself. I think that’s a good thing. I hope so.
Annie
Hey, this would make for a great poem.
I love the vulnerability revealed from the speaker.
And the lesson. But the cost….
that’s another story.
Talk soon.
Hey Cutie,
Yeah…you’re right, that is another story. What a life.
Annie
Hi Annie.
I love this piece and if I had know then what I didn’t know then I would have never had met you so I’m a happy chappy.
Love Di
Hey Di,
LOL – otay, sounds about right.
Annie