10 Signs it’s Time for a New Man

 

1. When asked, he agrees your ass does look fat in those jeans.

2. He refuses sex because he has a splitting headache and has them often.

3. Tells you that if you loved him you’d have all your teeth pulled.

4. He tries to convince you to create an annoymous online identity so you can have ‘hot cybersex’ with him.

5. He insists you call his mother to get the correct recipe for cornflakes.

6. When his computer is acting up, he stays up all night with it until it’s better. When you are sick, he suggests you go to the drugstore for Nyquil and wants you to pick up a six pack while you’re going.

7. He only notices you when you’re blocking his view of the game.

8. He started working late every night the day after you moved in.

9. His idea of a romantic evening is Letterman on the set and three minute sex.

10. You just discovered that his dog and his mom are the beneficiaries on his life insurance policy.