Sick Day – Theme Friday

Back in the day of being a 9 to 5 working stiff, I found that frequently my job made me feel sick. Or perhaps it inspired me to feel sick. Thank gawd for sick days, without them there would have been no relief. Even unpaid sicks days were better than paid work days that made you sick.

On the other hand, having frequently worked in HR in my corporate (so to speak) career I sure heard some interesting sick day excuses. Real whoppers. Some of them even knee slappers.

But let’s face it, in this economy most of us grit our teeth and tell ourselves that any job is better than no job. And too, some of us are lucky to have sick days. In case you are short on possible sick day excuses I offer the following:

I’m calling in sick because…

1. My stigmata is acting up
2. I think I have food poisening (always a good one because it’s practically impossible to disprove)
3. I think I have that 24 hour bug (I’m convinced that there really is no such thing as the 24 hour bug but rather it’s an urban legend developed by savvy sick day caller inners)
4. I cracked a tooth (dicy because you’ll have to go to a dentist and they may want to know details)
5. My dog, kid, spouse is sick
6. My allergies are kicking up (workable only in spring and fall)
7. I think I’ve been exposed to chemical warfare, toxic waste, mold (careful with this one, since employers are wary of worker comp claims)
8. I have a migraine (again, good one because they come and go and nobody knows how to fix them and they aren’t seasonal)
9. I injured …pick your body part (again a little risky because you’ll have to return to work in a sling, cast or brace, however, if you’re a good actor go for it)
10. I’m having car trouble (this one is pretty workable, although it can backfire if someone offers to come pick you up)
11. Weather (flooded streets, earthquakes, blizzards may all help in this excuse, however, if you are the only one who couldn’t get to work because it was raining, your boss probably won’t buy it)

Conversely, following are some excuses that probably aren’t recommended or believable:

I’m calling in sick because…

1. I need a break from the back-stabbing blood suckers I work with.
2. You people make me want to scream
3. My boyfriend/girlfriend is in crisis
4. My hard drive crashed
5. I’m hungover
6. I’m interviewing at another company
7. I don’t have that project done that’s due today
8. I’m going to the beach to get a headstart on my tan
9. I broke a nail and need an emergency wrap
10. My mother-in-law is coming for a visit and I have to clean the house
11. If I take one more customer service call I’m going to puke
12. I didn’t get any sleep because I was clubbing all night
13. The voices told me that I should stay home
14. My horoscope warns against travel today
15. It’s my birthday and I’d rather have fun
16. I need to go to a political rally
17. I need to catch up on my tee-voe’d shows
18. I’m meeting with my lawyer

While there are probably countless excuses both acceptable and unacceptable these are the ones that come to mind. Feel free to add to the list.  WC

copyright 2010

What kind of sick day is Christine having?

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