A Beautiful Spring Day Around the Web
A beautiful spring day in the land of sunshine
It’s a beautiful Spring day in sunny California and I’ve spent the afternoon reading like a fiend.
I found some great posts I thought you might like to read too:
A creative approach to problem solving I have to say this is my personal favorite. Love the whole idea!
Business writing made fun I couldn’t agree more.
Great quotes about spring Sometimes you gotta sing about Spring!
Fun with stickies This I thought was a brilliant idea.
Make your own movies I actually made my own movie this way. Granted it has flaws and I have to refine it (I mean do it over) but it was great fun.
In search of a niche? We could all use some fresh ideas I think.
Anyway, grab an iced tea or diet coke and read til your eyeballs bleed.
Writer Chick
Secret Writer Behavior
I admit it, I was a Sex in the City junkie. Although I never watched the show while it was on the air, I did start watching it when it went into syndication. Again and again. One of my favorite episodes is when Carrie laments about losing her SSB – secret single behavior- because she was now living with her boyfriend. SSB is the stuff you love to do when you’re alone. Whether it’s jacking up the sound system and playing air guitar with Clapton, chowing down on some Hagan Daas, or chatting on Facebook in your undies, SSB is a guilty pleasure. And I think that most of us can identify with the concept, male or female.
I won’t divulge my SSB but I wondered if SSB also extended to other things, like writing for instance. Do you have any secret writing behavior (SWB)? I know I do and it includes things like:
- Cursing all the way through a writing project I hate. Let’s face it, not all your projects are going to be fun or interesting. Many of your projects will be tedious and for clients who are difficult to please. For me, giving in to my angry cussing side makes it easier to get through the pain. I pound on the keyboard and let the cursing rip like I’m a parrot on Thunderbird.
- Talking to my characters. Now this may not be too weird to another writer but when your room mate is in the next room and hears you scolding, cajoling or encouraging people who only exist in your head it’s not easy to explain.
- Acting out the scenes. Yep, that’s right. If I am trying to write a scene where the character is doing something a little weird, I literally put myself in that situation and see what it’s like. For example, a current story I’m writing involves a character who is blind, so I practiced walking up and down the hallway with my eyes closed. Another thing I wouldn’t want my room mate to see or have to give an explanation for.
- Writing naked. Sometimes you just have to let it all hang out to get those writing juices flowing, right? Okay seriously, am I the only one?
- Getting into character. If I am writing a character who has an accent, affliction or some other unusual characteristic, I become them. Whether it’s a southern drawl, a Midwestern twang or a bow legged stance – if I have to don a cowboy hat and do the two step to get it right, I’m game.
Now I don’t know if any of my SWB really makes me a better writer or enables me to write more effectively but I do know it’s a lot of fun and not stuff I like to do when others around. And maybe that’s why writers like to be alone when they write. They may say that it’s because they need the quiet to focus and concentrate but I’m willing to bet it’s because there is some secret writer behavior going on too.
How about you, what is your secret writer behavior? Has any non-writer caught you in the act? Tell me about it in the comments.
Writer Chick
Copyright 2012
I didn’t write today because…
Whether you are a freelance writer, a fiction writer or both you probably have times when you don’t get a lot of writing done. Because let’s face it, life gets in the way and most of us harbor a certain amount of guilt in being writers— because we do it at home and often in pajamas, maybe it just doesn’t seem like real work. But the guilt goes both ways, we also can feel guilty for not writing. For not getting in our precious writing time because if we don’t, how are we ever going to write that best seller or become one of the top copywriters in the country, or the next awesome indie writer?
Excuses, excuses…
I don’t know about you but I have a whole list of ‘reasons’ why I didn’t write today. (Not that anyone is keeping track of my writing schedule but me.) Perhaps like you, my inner taskmaster demands explanations for these writing lapses and I’ve developed a list that you may find helpful too:
I didn’t write today because…
- It’s just too damn hot.
- It’s just too damn cold.
- My doctor told me I am allergic to blank pages
- My dog had a weird eye thing and I had to figure out why.
- I had to catch up on Facebook.
- I got paid today and needed to buy things.
- I looked fat in my jeans.
- I’m too damn tired.
- My mind is a sieve.
- I started my diet and couldn’t focus.
- I needed to work out because my ass has gotten too damn fat from all the writing.
- There was a new episode of Master Chef that I had to see.
- I had to go to Starbuck’s and eavesdrop on conversations because I forgot how to write dialogue.
- Writing is hard.
- My story idea needed to percolate more.
- My character is going through a mid-life crisis and I thought I should let her work it out on her own.
- I have writer’s cramp.
- I have writer’s block.
- An editor was mean to me.
- An agent turned me down.
- Zelda talked me into going to a Zumba class.
- I deserve a break for finishing that short story.
- I was looking for a real job.
What’s your excuse for not writing?
How about you, what’s your favorite excuse for not writing? Leave it in the comments and let’s all have a good laugh and then get back to that blank page, eh?
Writer Chick
Copyright 2012
You might be heading toward brain death if…
Have you ever been in such a mind-numbed state that coming up with a menu for breakfast is a major accomplishment? Yep, that’s me lately. Usually I have so many thoughts and ideas traveling at warp speed between my ears that have to tell the voices to quiet down under threat of a time out. So many plans that my desk is covered with little index cards and post-its with bits of brilliance just waiting to be developed into a story, a post, an article, a poem – many of them unreadable when I get back to them. ‘Let’s see is that an m or an n?’
And the condition seems to come on without notice or preamble. Suddenly you just can’t think, you have no ideas and forget about having a conversation with anyone. However, over the years I have come up with a list of signs that I am heading toward brain death and thought I’d share in the hopes that maybe you can see it coming and do something before total flat line sets in.
You might be heading for brain death if:
1. Somebody hands you money and you say, “No thanks, I’m full.
2. You start nodding in agreement while listening to an Obama speech.
3. You regard your pet dog, cat, goldfish, iguana as one of the smartest people you know.
4. You believe that spending money you don’t have will increase your net worth.
5. You think that walking up a flight of stairs cancels out that slice of death by chocolate cake you just ate.
6. You believe reality shows are real.
7. You religiously post your score for online scrabble on face-book every day.
8. You start to feel ill if you don’t visit face-book and twitter 25 times a day.
9. You go into a panic when you can’t answer your cell phone by the second ring.
10. You think Jon Stewart is a brilliant political commentator.
11. You intend to spend the next two weeks reading every one of Sarah Palin’s emails.
12. You want to see the picture of Wiener’s wiener.
13. You’re concerned about the welfare of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan or the Kardashians.
14. You feel actual physical pain when you turn off your computer, your television or your cell phone.
15. You turn down a date with a perfectly nice guy because you’re saving yourself for Hugh Jackman.
If these or any similar signs begin to manifest in your life, you may be in serious trouble. You may be able to remedy the situation by taking a walk, having a conversation with a real person in actual English, eating a meal that does not contain food coloring, chemicals and flavor enhancers, or reading a book. Remember a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
WC
Copyright 2011
Some Days….
Seems to be the story of my life these days. H.T. Zelda.
Random Thoughts #137
Anyone who thinks democracy is driving the events in Egypt may be interested in a bridge I have for sale.
Apparently the EPA now regulates milk spills – does that cover baby throw-up?
Why would apparent Mubarak supporters threaten Christiane Anampour based on her being and American when she is British?
Obama hearts Reagan? Really? So the biggest dem in world loves the old man, warmonger, idiot, economy wrecker? Nice try Time Mag but this makeover isn’t going to stick. And why do Democrat presidents keep channeling past presidents? Out of ideas?
Great the TSA agents have the nod to unionize – now we’ll never get rid of them.
McCain has officially lost the last piece of his mind.
So what would really happen if the government shut down for a few days? We’d get fewer laws passed? Less Obama speeches? No Robert Gibbs on the news? Sounds like a win-win to me.
Chuck Schumer apparently didn’t attend the reading of the Constitution on opening day of the new congress.
Democratic – adjective. Democrat – noun. It is the Democrat party, not the democratic party.
It’s really snowing in Texas. Damn that global warming!
How can Verizon call its new phone and iPhone – isn’t that what Mac calls theirs? Now there are two iPhones?
If the president can get a kill switch for the internet, can internet users get a kill switch for the government?
Can’t wait for this movie to come out – should be pretty appropriate about now.
What to do with a dead Christmas Tree
Well the presents have been exchanged. The meals have been prepared and eaten. Santa and the reindeer are safely ensconced at the North Pole. The new year approaches and everytime you enter your living room in your bare feet the dried pine needles from the tree greet you with a little surprise. What was once a fresh, supple pine that smelled like Christmas is now a large version of every houseplant you ever murdered.
Legend says it’s bad luck to take down the tree until after the new year and honestly, you don’t relish the idea of wrestling fragile ornaments out of the bramble the tree has become. Still, in a few days you will have to and you’ll have to figure out what to do with the carcass and the pine needles you’ll be finding for at least a month afterward. Following are a few ideas you may not have thought of…
1. Make soup! I have it on good authority that pine trees are actually nutritious and you can eat the pine nuts and needles – so get that outdoor kettle going and start the year off eating healthy again.
2. Make mulch. (Chipper required) For those of you who garden, pine needles make a terrific mulch and keep your flower and vegetable beds warm and toasty until spring. Of course if you get snow in your part of the country this may be moot.
3. Make a new Christmas decoration. For those of you who don’t want to contribute to the landfills, you can turn your old tree into a giant decoration for next year. Just nail that baby to a wooden block, spray paint the whole thing silver or gold and then varathane the whole thing. Caution: store in a cool, dry place and keep it away from the water heater and boiler.
4. Put it on the curb and let the city worry about it. Most cities pick up the trees in ‘special’ trucks and take them to a ‘farm’ when they can run and be free. Caution: Don’t tell the kids about the chipper.
5. Plant it. Okay, this really doesn’t apply to a dead tree – you have to have one of those tiny little potted live trees but you can plant those. Of course, half the time they don’t actually grow once planted and the ones that do, get big, so don’t plant too close to the house unless you want to fix your foundation a few years from now.
6. Leave it up til it falls down. Of course you can just leave the tree up and let nature take its course. Eventually all the needles will fall and the ornaments will end up in a heap on the floor but so what? And once the tree has shed all it’s needles you’ll have a nice hunk of wood. Roasted marshmallows anyone?
7. Carve a walking stick. Depending on the size of your tree, you could have a fair amount of wood left over once you skin the branches and needles from it. Cut the trunk to size and carve yourself a nice little old shillelagh (shill-lay-lee) come St. Paddy’s Day.
These are just a few ideas but if you put on your thinking cap, I’m sure you can think of other environmentally friendly and innovative things to do with your dead Christmas tree.
WC
copyright 2010
All I Want for Christmas
Back in the olden days when nobody protested Christmas displays or tried to sue people for saying Merry Christmas, or when Christmas trees weren’t considered a blight to the future of the planet, there was a cute little song called, “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.”
Ah, simpler times when the desire to have those important two front chompers in order to sink into the holiday dinner that was high in fat, sugar, cholesterol, calories and flavor. I miss them, don’t you?
And too, our wants are different now. If we are doing bad, we probably just want gas that is less than three bucks a gallon, or not be singled out in the security line at the airport by some lonely groping TSA agent. If we’re doing okay, we’re not sure what we want because we have grown accustomed to buying everything and anything our little heart desires. We own every gadget, media invention, and movie known to man—perhaps upgrading to a 60 inch plasma would be nice?
People complain about the commercialism of Christmas as if that is a new concept, but really if you watch old Christmas movies, you see that in 1947 they were complaining about it then too. Don’t believe me? Watch Miracle on 34th Street and you’ll see the teenage Santa wannabe Alfred say, “There is a lot of bad ism’s floating around this world and one of the worst is commercialism.” So that is nothing new, really. And frankly, I don’t see all that much wrong with it. Commercialism is what makes and sells things that we apparently want. Commercialism provides jobs. Commercialism produces movies, cell phones, music, television shows, automobiles, and every other material good, service and benefit we desire – so maybe we should stop blaming commercialism for our own relentless desire for stuff.
But regardless of what Christmas means to us, whether it is strictly religious or more just that joyous, spiritual feeling or lighthearted fun we love about Christmas, we all want something for Christmas and this is what I want:
I want people to put aside their selfishness and let others observe the holiday as they wish (as long as explosives or mayhem is not involved)
I want Congress to quit using taxpayer money to act as selective Santa’s giving to some and taking from others. (Most of us already have parents)
I want to spend one more Christmas with my father who is deceased through some bizarre miraculous g-torsional time warp. (I know this is not possible but I still want it)
I want the people who hate and are offended by Christmas to spend Christmas week in Iran, China or Afghanistan so they can see up close and personal how they like living in a country where the government outlaws such things and possibly even things they like. (Perhaps then Christmas won’t seem so offensive to them after that?)
I want the president to refrain from signing anything into law for at least a month. (Call it a bill-free holiday for all Americans).
I want Americans to quit envying each other and to accept charity if given freely but not to expect it because someone else can afford it. (Just because someone has something you do not, doesn’t mean you are entitled to a piece of it.)
I want the media to report the news in an unbiased manner without injecting their opinions, ideology and prejudices. (Or to shut the hell up.)
I want everybody to quit trying to control everything and just let things be. (From the weather to what we eat—again, we already have parents and most of us have umbrellas and galoshes).
But more than anything I want us to be free, happy and grateful for all the many blessings we have.
How about you, what do you want for Christmas?
WC
copyright 2010
Random Christmas Thoughts #56
I don’t know about you but some of the weirdest thoughts I have pass through my mind during the Christmas season, such as…
1. Does my dog know it’s Christmas or is she simply traumatized by being dressed up as a reindeer? Can PETA sue me for that?
2. Is Rupdolph the red-nosed reindeer green enough? What kind of carbon footprint does a shiny red nose leave? Come to think of it, Al Gore’s nose seems pretty red.
3. Is Santa an equal opportunity employer? I mean how many of his reindeer are girls?
4. What would happen to Christmas if the elves unionized?
5. Will Santa need a federal bailout if the polar ice caps melt too much? Is he too big to fail?
6. Why do people shake Christmas packages to find out what’s in them? Are they just budding TSA agents?
7. Is Santa gluten intolerant? Will the 1st Lady’s food initiative outlaw leaving cookies and milk for a clearly obese individual (for his own good)?
8. When will some screwball politician propose a don’t ask, don’t tell policy for Christmas?
9. Why must banks refrain from displaying Christmas symbols because it shows a bias toward certain customers when the tellers speak spanish, chinese, russian and other languages toward certain customers?
10. Will the naughty or nice list be outlawed because it penalizes a group of disenfranchised citizens?
11. If Christmas displays can be shut down because it offends non-Christmas enthusiasts, why can’t mosques be shut down because it offends non-jihad enthusiasts?
12. If there is supposed to be a separation of church and state, why does the White House have a Christmas tree? Why do the administrative staff have Christmas parties? And why did the president of the United States abandon his own press conference to attend a Christmas party? And why is the first family going on Christmas vacation? (Oh yeah, and how much you want to bet that all federal employees get Christmas bonuses too?)
Anyway…what kind of random Christmas thoughts do you have?
WC
copyright 2010
The New 12 Days of Christmas
Hey everybody, given current events I just couldn’t help but do a Christmas parody. And now, the new and improved 12 Days of Christmas…
On the first day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
A tax hike with a green fee.On the second day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Two bailout plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.On the third day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.On the fourth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.On the fifth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.On the sixth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.On the seventh day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Seven czars a-czarring,
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.On the eighth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
An eight dollar rebate,
Seven czars a-czarring,
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.On the ninth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Nine website shutdowns,
An eight dollar rebate,
Seven czars a-czarring,
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.On the tenth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Ten Wiki leakings,
Nine website shutdowns,
An eight dollar rebate,
Seven czars a-czarring,
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Eleven cameras spying,
Ten Wiki leakings,
Nine website shutdowns,
An eight dollar rebate,
Seven czars a-czarring,
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my government sent to me
Twelve numbing speeches,
Eleven cameras spying,
Ten Wiki leakings,
Nine website shutdowns,
An eight dollar rebate,
Seven czars a-czarring,
Six Dems a-squawking,
Five naked body scannings,
Four fast-food laws,
Three pat downs,
Two bail out plans,
And a tax hike with a green fee.
As usual feel free to add verses and if you drink spiked eggnog whilst singing, it really sounds so much better.
WC
