When I was a kid, Mom said some of the weirdest things to us and even at an early age they didn’t make sense to me. Of course, back then I couldn’t respond with what I was thinking for fear of being grounded or worse. But I sure had answers for them….
1. Always wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a truck.
A truck? Really? What if I’m only hit by a car, can I wear dirty underpants then?
2. Finish your dinner, there are kids starving in China.
Well then, let’s mail the leftovers to them.
3. You’re just like your father.
Is this supposed to be an insult? Cuz, I think my dad is pretty cool.
4. The Milkman is your father.
Then why does he go to the steel mill every day?
5. Why do you always have an answer for everything?
Why do you keep asking me questions?
6. Why are you kids trying to drive me crazy?
Because you won’t let us drive the car.
7. You have big thighs just like your father.
Do I need a thigh-ectomy?
8. You were born 40.
Then why don’t I have my own apartment and a bank account?
9. You have funny teeth, just like me.
At last, something in common!
10. Wipe that look off your face.
Okay, got a handi-wipe? And what expression would you like me to wipe on my face?
11. Don’t play with matches.
Are candles included in that? Really, I didn’t mean to set the bunkbeds on fire – it just sort of happened…
Anybody want to add to the list?
WC
Anita Rodgers Mystery Writer 
Me! Me! Me! I got one! Well its not something she actually SAID…it was more like, how did she know what I was doing/about to do/thinking about doing when she HAD HER BACK TURNED??????? Did she really have eyes in the back of her head?
(Course now that I’m a Mom, I understand all too well how it works!)
Yeah, I think they call that Mom-dar – right? Mine had the same thing. LOL.
WC
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“People will do to you only what you let them do.”
Can’t remember if this was actually my mother or Eleanor Roosevelt. Either way, my mother said it…alot. As a kid, I would just scratch my head and go watch Superman.
I think my mom’s version of this was: If you make yourself a doormat, people will step on you. 🙂
And one from my Mom-in-law:
“What’s out of your mind is out of your head.”
If I had a nickel for everytime she said this, I’d be living on my own tropical island with carefully selected nubian slaves feeding me slices of mango by hand. Ah, the life.
~m
I don’t know…I rather like that one – not sure I understand it though. Oy, my father used to say the ‘if I had a nickel’ one constantly. Oh and whenever he saw some anal-type ‘authority’ on television he used to say ‘and I gotta work for a living!’ LOL
WC
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Oh I got some too!
1) “SHE’s the cat’s mother!” I could never understand how my sister (usually who I was referring to) had given birth to a cat, cos she never ate watermelon seeds
I wonder if that is the Aussie version of ‘the cat’s pajamas’? or ‘the cat’s meow’? Then there was another favorite ‘she’s gonna be so mad she’ll have a kitten’ but never heard about the cat’s mother before. Two points for Kelly for originality!
WC
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What happened to the rest of my comment??!!!
I don’t know. What was it about? What post?
WC
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Don’t run with scissors!
How would you like it if your face froze in that position?
If everyone jumped off a bridge would you?
LOL Evyl!
I forgot about the scissors and the bridge one. Yep, it must be universal. Maybe there is a handbook they all read from?
WC
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The comment above the one I wrote asking where my comment was…which is now 2 comments above this one 🙂
Apparently a mother cat is called a “SHE” so when we would say to mum “But SHE did it” referencing a sister, that would be her response….
Oh, I see. LOL – I remember when I waitressed years back, whenever a customer complained and asked your name, you’d say “Debbie.” Then whenever the boss would complain we’d all say Debbie did it. Of course, there was no one named Debbie who worked there. hehe.
Anyway, I said about the watermelon seeds because someone told us if you ate them you would ‘get a baby’ – stupid and innocent us belived them.
I can’t remember what I had for number 2, dammit! It was good too..
I also said that we wouldn’t get hit by trucks, but apparently buses would cause someone to need to look at your undies, and instead of starving children in China, we had bully “africans who would knock (me) down for that food” Seeing as how it was usually pumpkin left over, I wanted them to come get it cos then I wouldn’t have to eat it!
If I remember what that other one was, i’ll come back and let ya know 🙂
LOL! Yep, it seems parents are all taught to say the same silly stuff to their kids. If you think of more, feel free to come back and mention them.
WC
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Oh thats right, I remembered the other one!!
“You’re your fathers daughter”!! talk about stating the obvious…..
purefnevyl – That face freeze one brings back memories of “Don’t pull faces, it will stay like that if the wind changes you know!”
Ah yes, the you’re your father’s daughter. What insult that is, eh?
WC
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I have been brought up on the saying….”PRETTY IS, AS PRETTY DOES!”….what can I say? We’re southern!
Sounds like Forest Gump’s mama had nothing on yours. hehe.
WC
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I kind of raised myself (mom wasn’t around much) so I really don’t remember any “sayings” of real life strangeness…only in TV land did I hear such strange verbal remarks…..
Peace FC
Consider yourself blessed in that case. 😉
WC
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