Hugo’s Got a Brand New Bag

Impotent dictator, despot and thug apparent,Hugo Chavez , announced at the UN yesterday that he is stepping down in order to act as Noarm Chompsky’s literary agent. Chavez hawked the volume (pictured above)for a good twenty minutes and read from several provocative passages.

The UN members in chamber during the speech, other impotent despots of backward countries, were quite receptive to the live infomercial and found Unkie Hugo witty and applause-worthy. Especially when he covered for letting go of a huge fart by blaming a previous speaker, whom he belived to have left the chamber. I guess he forgot it was being televised.

After the speech, he autographed pictures of he and gal-pal Fidel Castro, in an embrace. As well as pictures of he and his new gal-pal Imajihad – holding hands.

Immediately following the autographs, he attended a cocktail party hosted by Babs Streisand and her wife James Brolin. Roitor’s has provided (photo-shopped) pictures of Hugo boogying the night away with Madonna, Jennifer Aniston, Rosie O’Donnel, Alex Baldwin, Bill Clinton and the Dixie Chicks.

Rumors that Chavez has offered Danny Glover his own movie studio in a quaint jungle setting could not be confirmed. But others who attended the party said they were witness to a certain ‘chemistry’ between the two men. Harry Belaphoney obviously slighted by the move, sulked in the corner most of the evening.

While no official announcement has been made about Chavez’s successor as impotant dictator and despot…I mean President…insiders believe Sean Penn is on the fast-track.

Stay-tuned for further developments.

Note: misspellings, and sarcasm intended

WC

Update: for those of you interested in how this great humanitarian takes care of his own people go here

7 thoughts on “Hugo’s Got a Brand New Bag

  1. I have always wanted to be a despot. Where do I apply?

    The UN is taking apps now. If you hurry you get a free Slurpy and a discount gas coupon. Of course, the coupon is only redeemable in Hugo’s neighborhood. 😉

    WC

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  2. Anybody buying their gas at Citgo Stations these days is lining his pockets…

    Yeah, but unfortunately, the way the markets work with oil is if Citgo is boycotted, the oil just gets dumped on the open market and it bought by other companies and sold. To me, the solution is to find other fuel solutions and in the meantime, drill for the oil we have here.

    WC

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  3. Why do we allow gasbags like this douche in the country anyway?
    And where the hell is Lee Harvey Oswald when you really need him?

    ~m

    I believe the PC crowd calls it diplomacy. Obviously you and I call it damned stupid. As to LHO….he probably reincarnated to a cockroach on a distant planet. 😉

    WC

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  4. Lee Harvey Oswald and the one “magic” bullet….
    Haven’t seen so much hot air at the UN in years..
    Ministers of Propoganda…. Iran and Venezeula..
    We don’t need a nuke bomb… and by the way would you (Dubya) and Laura like to come visit we have great sunsets..

    Yes Ger, the magic bullet. We’ll have to save that debate for another day.

    I thought the UN was made of hot air. Hmm…could be my mistake. It’s certainly become the antithesis of what was intended, hasn’t it?

    Yes, they are quite a couple, eh? ‘We love all people…’ blah, blah, blah. What’s that old saying about don’t trust you as far as I can throw ya? 😉

    WC

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  5. Are those slurpies being given out at the local quickie mart by someone who speaks broken english?
    Taking the 5th on that one, Ger.
    WC 😉

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  6. I hear Chavez and Ahrminijad are starring in the next “Leathal Weapon” Movie…. being directed by Danny Glover…….
    ba-da-bing! 🙂

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  7. All that was missing was Chavez doing hip hop to the tune of “Who let the dogs in?!!…huh-uh-uh-huh-uh-uh
    ..Who let the dogs in?!!” Big Bow Wow …I gotta say. You have to admit there’s a certain irony in a communist commercializing the UN aa a promotional platform to sell books. Have you heard of anyone else in the UN being quite that capitalistic?
    ~ PG

    PG! Welcome back! How was the trip?

    Yeah Unkie Hugo does like that toon from what I hear. As to the capitalist take – hmmm…I could say that the oil for food brouhaha was pretty capitalistic, wouldn’t you? lol.
    WC

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