I Don’t Want To Hear It!

This may come as a shock to some of you, but I am not a morning person. Nope, not at all. If I had my way, I’d stay up til 3am and sleep until the morning was all but gone. I don’t begrudge others their joy of morning. Their utter delight at casting back the blankets and chirping, ‘Good morning, world!’ I simply don’t want to share it with them. (Please don’t involve me and no one will get hurt.)

Enter roomie (who has been an absolute pain of late) who lies in wait until I stumble out of my room to get my needed fix of coffee. Very strong, lots of cream. I want to get in, start the coffee and retreat to my room. I don’t want to engage my mind, any thought processes or even hear another voice. But can I get that little tiny bit of consideration in the agony of the morning light? NO!

The moment I emerge, he’s there – in the kitchen yammering about some stupid thing or another, following me from cabinet to cabinet. He is a computer engineer so his mind is filled with spreadsheets and equations – even during my most conscious moments I have not the slightest interest in such things. Who cares, as long as he has someone to sling his most recent ‘aha’ at that’s all that counts. He announces to me his latest discovery about this router or that. This headhunter or that interview (did I mention he has been out of a job for 3 fucking months?) and how clever he was with the guy. Or how he solved the weed problem in the front lawn. The spreadsheet he employed to determine the schedule for the drip irrigation system for the roses (which he refuses to prune, take care of or even admire).

Now make no mistake, this guy is my roomie – not my boyfriend. I pay my share of the rent – I derive no benefit from having to listen to this drek day in and day out. Unless you consider being intellectually accosted a benefit.

He also likes to ask me questions in the morning. Is your computer on? Why do you still show a connection on the router if you have turned off your system? Is it going to rain today? How’s your car running? Is the dishwasher full?

Or to brag – Thumper (his evil cat) has gained 3 ounces. The infection he had is gone now. The fat content in his food was too low so I’m adding Friskies to the mix. Yeah, I checked the ingredients and the percentage of crude protein to fat ratio was off….

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

All I want to do is scream ‘Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!’ But do I?

No, I don’t. The fact that he is big enough to squash me like a bug, may have some bearing in this decision. Instead, I have learned to nod in just the right way to make him think I am listening to what he is jabbering about. I nod and mutter and inch my way down the hall, nod, mutter, inch some more until I get back to my room and safe ‘world’ as soon as possible. Although, even a closed door in his face doesn’t always discourage him. If he’s especially interested in hearing himself talk, he’ll keep going….

I’m telling you there is just no good reason to be awake in the morning. Especially at my house.

WC

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9 thoughts on “I Don’t Want To Hear It!

  1. Bless you my dear. you have my symapthies. I do not do mornings at all. In fact I think mornings start way to early in the day.

    Mrs. Squawk does the same things to me as your roomie does to you. Can you say urge to kill. Sigh, but we love em just the same.

    It has been said that happiness is a fuzzy puppy. Nope

    Happiness is a soft down pillow and my comforter. Leave me alone.

    Thanks for the comiseration Squawk – I’m with you – happiness is my comforter and pillow. 😉

    WC

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  2. I am night owl,so no chance of morning thing. thanks god my flat mate is also night owl:)

    Eka, do you think that’s why we’re bloggers? You gotta wonder.

    WC

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  3. I’m beginning to think we were seperated at birth! First the coffee, then the mornings thing…Even at high school I did my best work in the late hours of the evening and i’m sure anonymum will vouch for the arguments we used to have over me doing it so late when I could have been doing it straight after school. Zoe is now almost 6 years old and I am STILL not used to getting up early to feed/clothe/look after her. I do it, but unlike most things that become almost second nature after doing them for so long, mornings just ain one of them for me!! My digestive system agrees with me too. I simply cannot eat a thing until i’m awake – which is generally about 3 hours, 3 coffees/teas and umpteen ciggies after I crawly out from under the covers……
    Cheers, Kelly

    I’m starting to wonder myself. That high school thing sounds amazingly similar to my school days. And no, I can’t look food in the eye first thing in the a.m. either. And no matter how many jobs, or early morning schedules I’ve had to adhere to in my life I never get used to it either. This is starting to getting spooky. Should we have a heart to heart with A-mum? LOL.

    WC

    PS: What’s your favorite color? Do you like creamed corn in mashed potatoes?  dogs or cats? Vanilla or chocolate? lololololololol!

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  4. I guess I am just lucky then that I happened to have given birth/married the ones in my household who, like ne, don’t particularly do mornings well either!

    And by the by….I grew up in Australia…maybe it was something in the water?????

    LOL Billie, you may be able to check with Mum or Kel – they’d certainly know.

    WC

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  5. LMAO this is getting freakyier by the second! I see mum answered your questions for me, pleased to see she got them all right even… As for drugs during labor, I used gas, and thats it. Didn’t even have that for the real bit. Ask anonymum about what I did to poor poppy’s finger though, I think it’s still bruised….hehehehehehe Cheers, Kelly p.s if you tell me you love wizards and fantasy fiction books, i’m going to REALLY freak!

    Irish faeries – and I prefer fantasy sci-fi over straight sci-fi – does that count? How about red meat? Nothing better than a porterhouse steak with lots of salt and a dark beer? Do you throw like a girl? Did you climb trees have a serious addiction to bubble gum as a child? Does a man with maddening blue eyes make you go weak in the knees?  LOL, we could keep this up for quite a while. 🙂 WC

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  6. I am a morning person and a night person. I am just a little ray of sunshine at all times. But I still wouldn’t like listening to that bullshit. I would suggest that you wait until he is asleep, roll him in his bedsheet, and then beat some sense into him.
    Yes you are a little ray of sunshine Evyl! I might need an accomplice to follow your advice – guy weighs close to 300lbs – although maybe I have a tent in the garage I could wrap him in….. 😉
    WC

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  7. I’m a night-owl too. Damn day job keeps waking me up every morning. Problem is the lottery keeps picking the wrong numbers.

    LOL – is that my problem? They’re picking the wrong numbers? Makes total sense to me now. 😉

    WC

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  8. I wanted to be a night owl, and prior to reaching middle age I did pretty well with it. I could actually stay up until 2-3:00AM and sensibly wake up at 10:00 or 11:00AM on a Saturday morning. You don’t have to put up with other’s morning cheer and yammering when you get up that late. It all works out well. But now, I somehow manage to hit brain death around 11:00PM, whether it be on the couch watching TV or reading a good book in bed. Even when I manage to get past that 11:00PM witching hour and grab the adrenalin second wind, those little peepers just pop open at 8:00AM and sleep is over. The idea of spreading my wings in night owl freedom has tempted me more than once. And yes, a cheerful morning, jabbering roommate, or forget cheerful, just jabbering, is hard to take. I’m with you there, especially if they are lathering you with techno-geek terms and otherwise making inane comments. And the worst is when I’ve attempted my night owl performance, and miserably failed by rising at 8:00 AM. Miss Happy Good Morning I’m not. Just shut up and give me some caffeine, oh yea…I’m with you on that. At this stage, that’s the only apsect of the night owl routine that I seem to have mastered. Go night owls!

    ~PG

    Night-owldom is a very special thing. And those of us who have it are a rare and special breed. We could start a team. Our motto could be ‘shut up, gimme the coffee and nobody will get hurt.’ Dark glasses and trenchcoats (with built-in coffee cup holders) would be our uniform. We’d meet in smokey rooms and talk in hushed mumbles…gee, sounds kind of like a bad film noir. LOL.

    WC

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