Lotsa Pasta (Holy Spaghetti, Batman!)

You know, I’m a pretty nice person. I am really am – I do good deeds. I try to help people whether they are friends or total strangers. I send my mother cards on her birthday, Christmas and Mother’s Day. I share my lunch with my co-workers. I try to encourage other writers to keep at their work. I make Christmas dinners and decorate the house for roomie. If I see a movie or something I know a friend wants I pick it up for them. I listen to telemarketers before I politely end the call. I recycle. I clean up after myself. I pay my bills, balance my checkbook, apologize when I act like an ass. I’m even nice to liberals…

After all that, you’d think that God would let me eat pasta. You’d think that he’d give me a pass on that one thing. (at least Angel Hair)That he keep it from settling in my ass and thighs. I’m not even talking about adding garlic bread here – just pasta.

But no. No such luck. I am destined to eat pasta and be the size of a city bus or pass on it and force myself to eat the lousy anti-pasto. And what’s up with that. Since when do you name foods for being pro or con? Anti-pasto always makes me think of anti-freeze. I suppose the comparison is about right. Pasta freezes up in my system for sure, where anti-pasto slides right through.

But oh to give up pasta…alfredo, bolognese, carbonara, lasagna, manicotti, vermicelli, primavera – red sauce, white sauce, clam sauce, meat sauce….the list goes on and on. And don’t even get me started on noodles and macaroni! It tastes so good going down but once it hits the old metabolism it acts like cement and mortar. Unfair. Totally, completely and absolutely unfair. And really illogical.

Genetically speaking I’m Irish and German – lots of starch in those diets. Shouldn’t my metab be geared to suck that stuff up? Shouldn’t it have the enzymes and whatever to use that fuel instead of storing it for a famine. Hmmm….well there was that famine in Ireland way back…do you think?

So God, I’m asking you puleeze, let me have lotsa pasta. Any time. Anywhere. Let it be the fuel that my body thrives on. Let it go in and let it go out. Instead of it stopping and forming mass in the ass. Let your glorious light shine down on my spaghetti bowl – lead me not into protein but good old fashioned starch. Open up your loving aura and lead me not to covet thy neighbor’s ravioli. Pray with me people. Help this miracle happen! Together we can do it. Let’s all lobby for linguine. Sing for spaghetti. Praise the pasta, people! Let it ring forth from your very souls……

Can I get an amen?

11 thoughts on “Lotsa Pasta (Holy Spaghetti, Batman!)

  1. Amen!! (on my knees, arms reaching high, tears in my eyes) ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Hey Baby!

    I shoulda known you’d be ready join team pasta. Don’t cwy tho, here’s a kweenix. ๐Ÿ˜‰



  2. I make a mean homemade noodles basically any flavor spinach…whole wheat…
    red chili…jalapeno…pesto noodles…nothing like hand made pasta fettucinne…
    with my three cheese alfredo sauce (Cream romano, parmasean, gorgonzola).
    Or baked fetuccinne with fontina and gorgonzola and cream baked in the oven adult macaroni and cheese ummm hmmmmm…

    Well with your pasta and Kelly’s sauce I think we can open a restaurant. We’ll call it WC Eats. hehe



  3. So i’m guessing that it would be very naughty of me to tell that I make a mean chicken and veggie cream based pasta that is best served with fettucine, preferably the fresh kind like Gerry mentioned???! Pasta is yummo….
    Cheers, Kelly

    So this is your way of torturing me? I bet you’re one of those skinny rails who can eat pasta with impunity, aren’t you? I have special pasta I do too with fresh veggies, parma, garlic and cream – outta this world. yummy.



  4. I do not apoligize for being an ass. Therefore you should be given special dispensation. How about a spicy meatball?

    I’m extra hungry today – can I have two spicey meatballs? ๐Ÿ˜‰



  5. You’re in my prayers, Sister!
    Funny stuff, AMR, very funny…
    btw- is that a pic of you doing an Italian Carmen Miranda imitation?
    Just curious ๐Ÿ˜Ž


    Okay, I guess i’m busted…that’s me in the pasta hat. LOL. not!

    That pic is a scream, isn’t it?



  6. Hey

    Pasta with mince meat will do? I just love it:)


    That is a new one. I have never heard of that before. I thought mincemeat was for pies. What is mincemeat, exactly? do you know?



  7. Great picture! Well…I’m on your side–fat free pasta–pasta without remorse. Halleluiah!!
    ~ PG

    Oh, you like my picture? I look good as a brunette, don’t I? LOL. I’ll go you one better – calorie-free, carbo-free, fat-free pasta. Of course that would make it imaginary pasta…. ๐Ÿ˜‰



  8. Hello,

    Pasta with minced meat I had when I was in Greece, well they call it Macaronia Kima. I did managed to find one receipe for you ๐Ÿ™‚ try tis you will love it…


    * Pepper
    * 2 large onions
    * Salt
    * 1 packet of spagheti or linguini pasta
    * Cress (Kardamo)
    * 250gr (0.5 lb) minced beef
    * 2 bay leafs
    * Tobasco sauce
    * 1 can chopped tomatoes (or fresh tomatoes)
    * Olive Oil
    * 2 cloves of garlic

    1. Boil pasta in a large pot.
    2. Chop onions and crush the garlic cloves.
    3. In a deep pan, add some olive oil and saute the onions with the garlic.
    4. Once the onions are sauted, remove from the pan and place in a bowl.
    5. Add some more oil and add the minced meat in the pan, turning hte heat to high.
    6. Cook the minced meat, while constantly stirring it and dispersing it with a wooden spoon so that all of it is cooked properly.
    7. Once the minced meat is ready, lower the heat to medium and add in the onions and garlic.
    8. Add the chopped tomatoes (if you are using fresh tomatoes – add a pinch of sugar too).
    9. Crush a few cress seads under a paper towel and then sprinkle it in the mix. (the ammount of seeds varies with how strong you want to make the taste of it).
    10. Turn the heat to high again and stir the tomatoes with the minced meat. Once the mixture begins to boil, reduce the heat to medium and add some salt and pepper to taste.
    11. Add the bay leaves, 5 drops of tobasco sauce and cook covered for about 10 minutes over a medium to low heat.
    11. Once pasta is ready, drain it and put it back in the pot. Remove the bay leafs from the mix and pour it over the pasta.

    Enjoy it:)

    Sounds great! But…what is kardamo? Is that like cilantro?


  9. i used to be able to find this chinese (egg noodle) pasta that was called “birds nests” it contained 4 servings in a package, each serving equaled 2 breads, i would throw in some ground seasoned chicken and some low fat (Paul Newman’s) sesame dressing & veggies and felt like i was pigging out, but it would never show up on my hips….. sniffle, sniffle….I miss that pasta!!

    peace out

    FC, I checked the Internet today looking for those type of noodles and no luck. Are they the same as soy noodles? Those are actually pretty yummy and high in protein.


  10. WC,
    Nope they are actually egg noodles, it’s just that they are really thin and sectioned into (4) portions and resemble birds nests (hence the name). Suddenly all the stores just stopped carrying them, so the company probably just decided to stop making them, (I guess). So I’m not surprised that you couldn’t find them on the internet, bumming in Michigan!!

    Peace Out

    No wonder I couldn’t find them. Too bad, they sounded yummy!


Comments are closed.