(photo of U.S. Troops expressing their gratitude for Kerry’s recent remarks)
Dear Senator Kerry,
I wanted to thank you for your earnest statements at Pasadena City College the other day. Imagine my surprise to discover that only the lazy, non-homework-doing idiots of our society serve in the armed forces. To say I was shocked doesn’t begin to describe my amazement. And of course, it goes without saying that those of us who support these poor excuses for dna are even bigger idiots.
Now, I know you’ve been getting lots of heat for this harmless and totally true statement. And that because of that you are telling people that you were making a bad joke about President Bush. Because after all, a guy who had better grades than you, was elected to office twice, can fly a fighter jet and has kept this country safe for the last five and a half years certainly deserves to be insulted publicly.
And then there are the evil Republicans who are trying to frame you for your own words. Jeez, what’s up with those people? I mean who can believe a bunch of people who believe in God, are against killing unborn babies, expect people to be accountable for their own actions, want taxpayers to keep more of their paychecks, thwart terrorists, liberate others from tyranny, give billions of dollars to AIDS research, create the Environmental Protection Agency, end slavery and win the Cold War? How dare they not believe you when you say you didn’t mean what you said when you said it and that you now mean something completely and totally different.
Well, I for one want to applaud you. I for one, want to thank you. I for one, want to encourage to continue doing what you are doing. With any luck you will repeat the history of 2004 and lose the shooting match once again for your party.