Dear Santa…

 

Dear Santa,

I have been a very good girl this year. I have :

1. been paying down my credit card debt

2. not called in sick to work nearly as much as I wanted to.

3. only flipped off the most egregious idiots on the road

4. not killed roomie (despite any number of reasons I could have).

5. not killed either of my bosses (despite any number of reasons I could  have).

6. pretended to be happy to see people when I’m not.

7. been polite to Democrats (well sorta)

8. stopped discussing (arguing) politics with my sister.

9. made people laugh with my inane meanderings on my blog.

10. baked brownies for someone other than me.

11. not screamed at anyone at AT&T this week.

12. not slapped any stupid people lately, despite intense temptation.

13. only taunted 3 telemarketers this week.

14. bought a bunch of stupid shit for my friends which I have wrapped nicely for the holiday gift swap.

In exchange for all my goodness I would like (love):

1. job security (at least until mid-January).

2. two more years of my car running without major difficulties.

3. being discovered so I can get on the best seller’s list.

4. wealth and fame (or debt free with a small amount of disposable income).

5. the trick to teaching my dog how to talk (it would be a sure money maker).

6. the trick to getting roomie not to talk (it would be a sure sanity maker).

7. the secret to eliminating cellulite without taking pills or going under the knife.

8. my big fat ass, to be round and cute instead of what it is.

9.  7 calorie-free days per year so I can gorge on all the major holidays.

10. the secret to reversing gravity especially as regards my ass and my boobs.

11. you to manufacture the perfect bra and keep me in endless supply.

12. a maid (for obvious reasons)

13. the winning lotto numbers (just me and no one else, please).

14. Oh, and world peace.

Sincerely,

Writer Chick 😉

What do you want from Santa this year?

10 thoughts on “Dear Santa…

  1. 14. Oh, and world peace.

    LOL!!!!

    I love your lists! With very few modifications (sub Girl Scout co-leader for “roomie”) I could submit the same ones.

    Especially needed is the answer to gravity. Ass and boobs look like they are melting off me 😉

    LOL, should have known you would have caught that last one. hehehehehehe Some things never change, eh?
    WC

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  2. WARNING WARNING WARNING

    RE: Boobs and big asses and gravity.
    Guys (male types) don’t do it. You will be sorry. **See note below**

    Now having said that:

    1. I want to finally see the big picture
    2. The boat I’m not supposed to rock
    3. And just once when I have a complaint at a store, I want to see the regular manager.

    Oh yeah and the winning lottery numbers for the next 3 weeks,

    Yeah I know money can’t buy happiness but I would not mind being rich and miserable.

    **Unless it is an veiled gratuitous suck up compliment**

    Me too, the big picture and the boat that should not be rocked – show me dat! 😉
    WC

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  3. i would like to be 5’5″ instead of 5’1″, then i wont so closely resemble a melting ice cream sundae. also, i want an easy button. i don’t think circuit city really sells them though… LOL 😀

    LOL! the easy button, now there is an item definitely missing on my list. I’m adding it right now!
    WC

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  4. If you’ve got a Staples near you, that’s where to get the Easy Button. It’s way cool! I have one on the dash of my mini van/second home and slap it every time the kids are giving me grief.

    I get lots of “Look!!” “She’s got the easy button!!” from teens I drive by. It’s quite the hit!

    If you can’t find one, I can get one for ya all. 😉

    (except you, WC. It’s in your Christmas package now 😉 )

    LOL – you can actually get an easy button? llike in the commercials? Far out! That’s DAMN COOL! if you know what I mean. hehehe
    WC

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  5. Dear Santa,
    I’ve been good….My husbands still alive and breathing, isn’t he?

    Dear Santa,
    Since I’ve been good (see above) I would really like…My husband to leave…NOW.

    Are you sure this one is for Santa? Cuz I’m thinking a pot-bellied green monster might be more likely to give you your wish. 😉
    WC

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  6. 14. Oh, and world peace. ~ rofl

    ***
    Me? I want to rule the world! Wahahahhaha…

    Kidding aside, I want to have inner peace so that I can truly enjoy life. 🙂

    LOL! I had to add that one as an afterthought – cuz I truly have a little bit of beauty queen contestant in me.

    Ruling the world sounds like fun – can I be your second in command?

    Inner peace…is that anything like an inner tube? hehehehehe
    WC

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  7. Yes, as a matter of fact, it is DAMN COOL!!

    LOL! Several things never change 😉

    LOL – you know I can almost hear your famous (eardrum splitting) HA! in my ear now. hehe
    WC

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  8. I would like a pet Bigfoot. I bet not too many people would be bad neighbors if they are afraid that you would sic a Bigfoot on them.

    Now do you mean something on the order of the dancing Elmo or are we talking living, breathing, life-sized BF? In the case of the latter – check with PETA they may have someone in the executive pool who can do a guest stint. 😉
    WC

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  9. 1) Paying down credit card debt since i got the new job. (Down to 2 cards from 5)
    2) Started and stuck with a weight loss/eating program since April. (Lost 60+ Lbs as of last week-ok so I’m bragging!!).
    3) Haven’t killed anyone i work with, or any of my “whiner” friends…..
    4) Always try to be a good person…

    So….is that enough??

    Peace & Merry X-Mas
    FC

    Wow! Congrats on the weight loss – I am so jealous and such a slacker compared to you.

    your list works for me – add or remove as your desire dictates.

    l/y
    WC

    Like

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