How to Tell if Your Christmas Eve Bash is a Success


I’m not really one of those people who throws holiday parties. I’ll definitely do the dinners and cook up a storm, but when it drifts over to the party category I defer to ones better than I at such things. Happily, I have friends (Zelda) who do parties and I’ve been able to get a real observer’s station at same and feel I can pass along a few tips:

Your Christmas Eve bash is a success if:

1. Your guests don’t use the deserts as an ashtray.

2. The gag gifts you pass around don’t actually gag anyone.

3. You have no one by the name of Skip, Muffy or Biff on the guest list.

4. None of your guests notice the wee paw prints left by your several pets in the dip.

5. The groans you hear whilst guests are munching is because of the deliciousness of the food, not because they have broken a tooth.

6. Your choice of music does not prompt your guests to ask why you are playing funeral dirges.

7. The Christmas movie you make especially for the occasion is coherent and possibly causes your guests to chortle with laughter.

8. Guest do not refuse to take home leftover food and deserts when offered.

9. You do not require a first aid kit to have a fun time.

10. You do not invite people who discuss their recent operations around the fondue pot.

11. Your guests are too drunk to notice you have broken out the cheap wine.

12. You remember everyone’s name through-out the entire evening. Or they don’t hear you when you call them buddy.

13. No one shows up in surfer shorts and asks why all the old people are there.

14. The pets do not break through the barricade you have spent the last three days building.

15. You manage to delete and/or photoshop all the pictures of you before they are viewed.

16. You get through the evening without losing a pet or a guest.

17. Everyone leaves before you fall asleep in the family room.

18. The following morning you wake up to discover Santa’s elves have cleaned up the entire mess and you can go back to sleep.

There may be more and perhaps you can add a few – but in the meantime…



5 thoughts on “How to Tell if Your Christmas Eve Bash is a Success

  1. I have been going at it all wrong. I try to gag people with gag gifts. Like the time, I set up a Chinese Christmas gift swap in order to make sure that a wizened old matron received a pair of Christmassy crotchless panties. Fun Stuff!!! Have a great Christmas!!!

    Yes Evyl the gagging or should I say the not gagging part is kind of important. Hope the old matron liked her red and green crotchless panties – did it help her snag that good looking octagerian (sp) that was giving her the eye?
    Great Christmas to you to Ev!


  2. Merry Christmas! I hope you have the best Christmas ever.

    LOL – have you ever noticed that the closer we get to Christmas the more we sound like 3 year olds? I kinda like it though. No…YOU have the best Christmas ever! I hope Santa brings you the sled, the GI Joe AND the train set. 😉


  3. Hey Evyl, thanks for the last min gift idea for the mother in law! 😉

    Merry Christmas to all of you out there!!

    You gotta love the reader participation around here. And how I wish I were going to be there when mom-in-law opens that package. 😉


  4. LMAO!! I think that this will inspire me to start a christmas eve bash at our place…!! Just so I can check out whether or not we do it properly 🙂

    God girl, you’re in trouble if you feel you need to use one of my checklists. LOL.


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