Time To Embarrass Mom…

Sorry folks, I just couldn’t resist – it was too funny not to post. In fact, believe it or not, it reminds me of a real life story from my childhood and it goes like this…

One winter morning (I was about 13) my little brother, CE was outside with his buddy Jimmy playing war. No big deal because he was always outside playing with Jimmy no matter the weather, much as you would expect of an 8 year old.

My bedroom was in the back of the house and had a back door, with a window, that led out to the back yard. Mom and I were in my room chatting about something or another and for some reason Mom looked out side. All the color drained from her face and see ran to the door and pulled it open. She screamed for my brother to come in immediately.

I had no idea what was going on or why my mother was so non-plussed but was quite intrigued. My little brother hurried inside and said, ‘What’s the matter?’

I almost died. Around his head he had wrapped a kotex, which he also colored with ketchup or something red and I suppose he was make believing it was a head bandage or something, given that he was playing war.

I had to keep digging my nails in my closed hand to keep from laughing out loud. So it went like this:

Mom: What is that on your head?

CE: It’s a bandage.

Mom: Where did you get it?

CE: (pointing to me) Her closet.

Mom: Take that off right now!

CE: Why?

Mom: Because I said so!

CE: Oh man!

Mom: Right now, young man!

He took it off and handed it to her and she almost passed out.

Me: What’s that red stuff?

CE: Ketchup.

That was it, I fell over laughing and even Ma joined in. We couldn’t even speak much less answer all of my brother’s demands to know what was so funny.

Nothing like making the most of what you’ve got, eh?

Life is funny sometimes, doncha think?

WC

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13 thoughts on “Time To Embarrass Mom…

  1. …I suppose your brother eventually worked out what he’d been using for bandage? πŸ™‚

    You know, now that you mention it, he never did say anything to me about it – ever. For all I know he has completely forgotten about it. It stuck in my mind though, for obvious reasons. πŸ˜‰ Actually the funniest thing was my mother’s reaction – it was priceless.
    WC

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  2. Time to embarrass the wife (or future wife as it was). File under “you wonder why she married me at all much less TWICE”.

    A million years ago when I was a teen I worked in a bowling alley. Part of my job was to clean the rest rooms at the end of the day. Often the now Mrs. Squawk would come and join me till my helper and I would finish.

    While cleaning the ladies room I found a box of Tampons. My helper, Rick, was just as nutso as I was and we could not resist having a tampon war. Did you know that with the old cardboard applicators, if one modifies it just right and struck on the end just right the tampon would be launched 20 or 30 feet? The war was on. I pummeled Rick with flying Tampons. Since I possessed the cache of WMDs his only recourse was to throw them back at me.

    Embarrassed the future Mrs Squawk watched as we pummeled each other. It gets worse. Adding to the hilliarity Rick and I decided that Tampons made great “ear rings” and finished our duties in style. We were shiek looking “hippies” scrubbing, cleaning and buffing with our Tampon earrings.

    Boys will be boys and too this day Mrs. Squawk still tells the story and wonders why she married me the first time much less a second time.

    Oh Squawky! The earrings pushed me over the edge! Well, I guess boys will be boys and I guess women know these things – otherwise women would never date men, much less marry them. Great story! πŸ˜‰
    WC

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  3. Cute post. Makes me think of a Tostitos commercial I’ve started seeing. In it a young couple is fawning over their 5ish year old son’s art work. He presents each piece like “I call this grandma’s house”. The picture is about what you’d expect. The parents heap praise on him. Lastly he introduces “I call this Mommy and Daddy wrestling.” They don’t show that one, only the faces of the parents. Needless to say Mommy and Daddy confiscate it immediately. ;^/

    I don’t think I’ve seen that one – I’ll have to look for it. Kids do some very funny things when they are simply going about their business.
    WC

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  4. When I was nine my mom caught me using a douche bottle as a water gun to squirt my brother. I had no idea what it was for but it made one hell of a water gun.

    Wow, you, Squawky and my little bro woulda had quite a fine time playing together. Oh my god, Evyl the image of that is hysterical!
    WC

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  5. loved that story! that is great. innocence can be so refreshing sometimes i think. reminds me of a story about an ex of mine. when he was about 3, he had a got a new pair of Osh Kosh overalls, with the matching conductors hat. His mom’s friend was over visiting and he had gone into the bathroom for quite some time. He came out, beaming proudly and sticking his little chest out, his mom’s friend looked at him and started cracking up. When she turned around, there he was, conductors hat, and overalls. in the little breast pocket of the overalls were 3 tampon applicators sticking out. he sure found something to put in his little pocket alright! his mom just about died! haha! good times….

    LOL! I can just see that little guy all beaming and proud with his little tampon cigars in his pocket. Oh God, you guys are making me laugh too hard. πŸ™‚
    WC

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  6. Next Christmas I am giving everyone a pair of these.

    And now that I think about it, your brother was probably waaaayyyy ahead of his time. Truckers have to, by law, keep a first aid kit in the cab of their trucks. My kit had the all mighty Kotex in it for large wounds. They were cheaper than the thck compresses one would normally have in there. I made sure they were unscented btw.

    Oh my God, you people are trying to make me choke on my diet coke today! I want me some of those, Squawky – where can I get em? Amazon?

    Yes, my brother definitely was way ahead of his time. hehe.
    WC

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  7. Wuhell if you can’t wait for your Christams gift, you can always bid and win or make your own. I would opt to making your own. You can then decorate them the way you see fit. Course if you wait for me you might get something with this or this on them.
    Seems we have found what tickles my funnybone. I’m gone 10-7.

    10-4 big buddy – though how the heck would I wear those on my feet? LOL. Please no suggestions as to where I might wear them. πŸ™‚
    WC

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  8. Uhoh sent to moderation…..too many linkies.
    Well if you can’t wait for your Christams gift, you can always bid and win or make your own. I would opt to making your own. You can then decorate them the way you see fit.

    Those are a scream Squawky! I may make my own spring line now that you mention it. πŸ˜‰
    WC

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  9. I’m sure it wouldn’t take much time to think of some. I’m four years older than my brother, and when I was little we there were several little boys in the neighborhood who were my buddies, so it was like having several younger brothers.

    I bet I could probably think of some funny little sister stories, too. πŸ™‚

    -Kelsey

    Family stories are really fun to do – especially if they don’t read your blog. πŸ˜‰ I’ll be looking forward to yours.
    WC

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  10. Neither or my siblings ever read my blog, and I’ve been meaning to post something. Maybe I’ll have to come up with a funny story. I’m sure I could think of one.

    If I don’t come up with one this week, I’m sure there’s be plenty to come. πŸ™‚

    -Kelsey

    Far out! So you have an open field of fun-making. Let me know when you post the first one. I’ll be there with my reading shoes on. πŸ˜‰
    WC

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  11. LMAO!!!! Some things are just too funny aren’t they?! This is why we have siblings I’m sure of it….
    Kelly

    As they used to say – “I got a million of ’em!’ πŸ˜‰
    WC

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