Oy Carumba, the Guilt!

Recently I’ve mentioned problems on the job front – the company I worked with for almost 3 years was having trouble. Well, I’m sorry to say that the trouble didn’t end and I have left what I affectionately called The Land of Fun.

It was a fun, easy-going place to work – since we made movie props and I guess were sorta kinda in show business, there was no end of make-believe going on. But I guess there is more than make-believe needed to keep a business going.

No worries about me, as I’ve gotten another job, which I start Monday. It’s a far cry from the Land of Fun and it will be a brand new adventure for me – or them, I guess we shall see who experiences the most surprise. πŸ˜‰

I felt kind of guilty leaving my old job. We’d all become such comrades it rather felt like deserting the ship – but I had to admit that I needed to take care of me first and so left I did.

Now, I could have started my new job this week actually. I could have just jumped right into the fray and let the chips fall where they may. But, I decided (since the folks at Land of Fun didn’t require me to work out any notice) to just take a few days off.

I reasoned that there were lots of stupid, little things that needed to be done that I never seem to get around to doing. That I was some time to decompress and chill out. I wanted to go to my new job, fresh and relaxed. That I deserved a break. Because truth be told I don’t take vacations. Oh sure, I went away for a few days over Thanksgiving and as much fun as it was to see my friends, it was work. Try tagging along with a mother of three ages 9, 2 & 1 and you’ll know what I mean. Hell, I needed a vacation after the vacation.

So, okay, I’m having a little vacation. I’m catching up on sleep. Reading. Doing things around the house. Reveling in the solitude (did I mention roomie got a job?) and silence. I’ve been taking long walks with the dog – collecting bouquets of wild flowers – taking long showers, tweezing my eyebrows. Really important stuff.

Yet…the guilt. After a day and a half I started feeling like I was committing a crime. I felt like I should call my new job and confess that I was goldbricking for a few days before I decided to come in. I’m blowing off that idea the consultant had about going in on Saturday to get a little orientation. I’m not answering the phone for fear it might be someone who might want me to do something. I peer through the kitchen curtains to see if the Job Police are cruising my neighborhood, looking for layabouts.

I’ve parked my car a few houses down from mine, in case somebody I know drives by won’t think I’m home. When I go out I wear dark glasses and slouchy clothes so I won’t be recognized. I haven’t called any friends because I don’t want them to know I’m slacking. WTF is wrong with me? I mean, why the guilt?

I’ve been on my own and working for a living since I was 17. Even when I lived with my parents, I worked, bought my own clothes and textbooks, was always doing something. I’m not wired to lay around and do nothing. I mean, not that I’m doing nothing – I’m doing stuff. And it’s stuff that needs to be done but…I still feel guilty.

If I’m not out somewhere doing something, or writing about something or reading about something then I feel like I’m letting my fellow man down. Why can’t I simply enjoy my sloth week? Why can’t I revel in being bad. In being lazy. In doing nothing? Why????????

Do you think it has anything to do with being raised Catholic? I man people always say that the Jews have the corner on guilt but maybe they haven’t had any run ins with the Nuns. The ones who give you the look. You know the look? The one that can put a crease in your slacks, while you’re wearing them? The one that can make you pray for forgiveness even if you haven’t done anything? I’m telling you – the guilt, the guilt, the guilt. I can’t take it anymore!

Gotta go…somebody is lurking outside my house and I’m afraid they can hear the keys tapping.


11 thoughts on “Oy Carumba, the Guilt!

  1. Kind of like the look the penguin gave Jake and Elwood in the ” Blues Brothers” ah yes I know it too well went to catholic school for 12 years LOL and look what it did for me saw some kids get the ruler across the old knuckles….Our chemistry teacher was Sister Helen Champagne but we always called her “Bubbles”…..

    Yep…just like that. Bubbles! That’s a scream!


  2. There are two kinds of people; those who get a lot done and those with a lot to do. Now I know which type you are.

    Good luck with your new gig.

    Dare I ask?….Which type am I? I have no idea myself.


  3. WC:
    We live in a world where rest is a four-letter-word. Napping is forbidden. And God forbid we actually tweeze our brows or – do we dare – paint our toenails. Revel in the resting, my friend. I have trued to take a nape almost every day of my break from the semester, and it’s been grand. Life’s too short, and too irritating, to waste time awake.

    Also, guilt comes from believing we are doing, or did, something wrong. Pretty sure sleep, quiet walks, picking flowers, and reading aren’t against the law. πŸ™‚

    Are you sure they aren’t against the law? πŸ˜‰ Hmmm…a daily nap does sound glorious. Especially today – gray skies all day and I just heard that we are expecting artic air (in southern california????) tomorrow and the lows could be in the 30’s???What? Gimme my blankie.


  4. Resting is never done enough by ANY of us is it? So good for you for taking some YOU time!
    Good luck with the new job and enjoy the solitude while you can…what I’d do for just a day of NOTHINGNESS!!

    Well since you’re a mom – you’ll have to wait several years for something like a day of nothingness. yeah, I’ll need to rest up for this job. Hopefully, I’ll make it. πŸ˜‰


  5. All together gang

    You deserve a break today
    So get up and get away
    To McDonalds

    How was that for three part harmony?

    Oh wait…..No more Ravishing Rodney? Sigh I so look forward to Rodney stories.

    Happy for ya kiddo.

    Thanks Squawky! I love singing. I feel all zippy now. πŸ™‚

    Yeah, Rodney has left my universe – but there are lots of Rodneys out there and I’m sure to encounter another one soon. The stories will keep on coming, I’m sure. πŸ˜‰


  6. Another personal penguin story from moi… we had a Sister Mariam Patrice she was our religion teacher… she used to have a habit….no pun intended, of picking her nose. So a group of us got together and before class to guess how many times this would happen during class – closest person won…
    we called it of course pick a winner…
    you WC have cream boogers…
    but ya can’t beat nun boogers LMHO

    You’re right, Ger – I don’t have no none boogers. πŸ˜‰


  7. Good luck WC with your new job and latest adventure! I guess finding all this stuff out over the blog is what I get for not keeping up with my e-mails, eh?

    Anyhow, I echo what everyone else has said……rest while you can! Enjoy your life for what is left of this week and hopefully you will feel refreshed and ready for a new start on Monday. Best of luck!


    Hey don’t feel bad, that’s how many of my friends learn my news. I’m starting to actually feel rested – which is weird because I didn’t realize that I felt tired til now. Anyway, I think the new job will be a nice new start. I am starting to look forward to it. Thanks for the good wishes.

    PS: email me and tell me what’s happening, okay?


  8. Uh oh! You’ve gone and done it now. You’ve actually admitted to taking a day to yourself! I can hear the sirens now… Run! Hide!! I’ll try and cover for you…. “She’s, aaah, working from home!” “yeah, that’s it, working from home!” (Get some closed toed shoes on, WC, someone will see those painted toenails! πŸ˜‰ )

    Yea for you!!! Take another nap for me, OK?

    Okay you distract them with some of your singing and dancing and I’ll run for cover! πŸ˜‰


  9. omg i’ve so been there! taking a day off is not wrong, but we FEEL that it is. i would often not answer my cell afraid people will wonder why i’m not at work, so i feel your pain LOL. but, you do know that what you’re doing is fine, foreign, but still fine. get yourself together and get what you have to done while you have this little moment to yourself. and good luck with the new job, it’s always a little scary to change but i know you’ll do great!
    have a wonderful (and RESTful) weekend!

    Thanks, Reggie. You guys are making me feel not so weird about it. Though it still feels strange. Oh well, I’ll just have to buck up and take it. Jeez, I’m still in my jammies. What a slacker I am.

    Thanks for the good wishes about the new job – I’m hoping it goes well. I’m not sure how much blogging I’ll get done or if it will even affect that – we’ll see.


  10. WC feeling guilt? I know I’m new around here but that just doesn’t sound right.

    Try it this way . . .

    Screw ’em. Stick it to the man. Take a fucking break. That’ll show ’em.

    How’s that feel?

    LOL! You’re my kinda blogger, Chris. I think I’ll take your advice. Thanks! πŸ˜‰


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