Oh For a Scotch and a Pack of Cigarettes


Okay folks, so you want a story about my new job? Let me just tell you about my glorious day.

I got up early and got ready – determined to get there ahead of everyone else. New schedule, new commute still trying to hit it just right. And yesterday I was broiling in the office because I wore a sweater, so today just a cotton turtleneck and trousers.

Out the door and the air is like ice – 39 degrees – in California mind you. That’s really cold for us out here. Already I’m rethinking the cotton turtleneck but there’s no time so I jump in my little Chevy. But wait, what’s this? Why did it practically take two hands to turn the ignition? No radio, no heater, no lights, my ABS light is stuck on and there’s this funny smell….

Okay, clearly not getting in ahead of anyone. Drive straight to the mechanic (who I only just saw last week for one of those delux tune-up jobby-do’s) – but only the non-english speaking mechanic guy is there. The manager will be back in an hour – the owner who I’ve known for a bagillion years had just left. Nice big cold wind coming up. Hmmm…who can I call at 8:15 in the morning who won’t want to kill me? Why Zelda of course. Call home phone. No answer. Call cell. No answer. Decide to call work to tell them I will be late. No answer.

Yay, Zelda calls back. Yes she will take me to work. Be there in a few. Now with Zelda a few minutes can mean anything from 5 minutes to an hour. More standing in cold office and cold parking lot at mechanic’s. Finally Zelda arrives, I get in the car, which isn’t quite as cold as outside but not doing much to thaw me out. See Zelda doesn’t like heaters – in fact, she runs the A/C pretty much year round. So I keep my shivers to myself since she is doing me a favor.

Now I’m dreading how many bagillions of dollars it’s going to cost me to fix the car. I have visions of redoing the entire electrical system and various other stomach-churning possibilities. Enough. I throw myself into work. The place is a mess. There is stuffed crammed in every nook and cranny. Old papers, old envelopes, parts of equipment that no longer exists. Magazines, notepads, broken clipboards, Halloween decorations – pretty much everything but the fricking kitchen sink. So I spent most of the day going through all that crap. It did warm me up though – so I suppose that’s the upside.

Then I needed to talk to the bookeeper which took forever because she had to do this or that or whatever – long story short, I finally got a few minutes with her and got her on Quick Books tutorials. During which I discovered she doesnt’ know much about Quick Books and really pretty much computers. Cool, so it’s going to be a long road there.

Then the soon to be ex office manager had a fit because she didn’t get her overtime and she’s going to walk out and ooh, it’s such a drama. I mean we’re talking about $20. Right? So I told her I’d talk to Zelda cuz she was the one who put the kabosh on that – don’t even ask. So I just got off the phone with Zelda and she’s all pissed. And the other one is all pissed and it’s all on my plate anyway cuz well, it just is.

The good news is my car only needed a $50 part – a relay? And it works just fine now. I’m still alive, that’s good news. And there are only two more days left to the work week. Also good news. But Friday we’re having a little party for the ex office manager whom everyone hates and can’t wait to have go – but any reason to have cake and coffee, right?

Right now, a scotch and a pack of cigarettes would do a lot to improve my mood. I gotta tell you I’m not sure I’m cut out for this kind of crap. It’s all stupid and petty to me. I’d rather be writing. I’d rather being reading. I must be out of my mind. Oh well, maybe it will be better next week.

Though the 2nd night of American Idol tryouts is on tonight. I think I’m having a bad day? I’ll betcha there will be others who have a way worse one than me after all is said and done.



10 thoughts on “Oh For a Scotch and a Pack of Cigarettes

  1. Ah….I see you are having the mandatory ‘first week at new job second thoughts’…don’t worry it will pass. Before you know it you will stop in the middle of the day and realise damn, I’ve been here 2 months already?? One question…got kinda lost…is there 2 Zeldas? One at the office and the friend? Or is it one in the same? If so, what has she got to do with ex-manager’s paycheck? LOL

    Don’t get me started on the AI auditions….at the point the TH wannabe, try to look like and emulate came on, they were trying to pry the gun out of my hand because I was threatening to SHOOT THE TV!…Please tell me that there are handlers who check these people out first and just for shits & giggles (theirs, not ours) allow some of these butt fugly, embrassing people to go threw and audition! And Simon is his usual asshole self…the kid was a TROLL not a bush baby!

    Good advice, it actually stopped me from running out of there screaming. Thanks. No there is only one Zelda. She is consulting this practice and she brought me in to help clean up the place. So that’s the tie in.

    LOL – I know that Taylor impersonator was big scary. Gave me the creeps. Oh sure, they bring these people on intentionally – that’s why they get such good ratings – people can’t get enough of that stuff. Also, I think they are open auditions and they can’t really turn anyone away and don’t. And yes, our darling Simon hasn’t changed a lick, has he? Can’t wait to see who makes it through this year. I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen even any top tenners in the auditions yet (you know my predictions of who will get there).



  2. The phrase ‘Murphy’s Law’ comes sputtering to mind…good God.
    Somedays you just have to throw in the proverbial towel and move on.
    What else can you really do?
    Hope things get better soon.
    And I am with you on the writing and reading thing.
    But as I always say, in a perfect world.
    Have a glorious Thursday, kiddo.
    Friday is peeking just around the corner.

    Why yes it is – good point. I especially like Fridays too. Things were a little better today. I finally convinced the bookeeper that she should not be afraid of the computer today. A small step for her, but huge for the practice. πŸ˜‰


  3. I’ll join you in that bottle of scotch and pack of ciggies if you like love. I’ve just had the pleasure of cleaning up a 6 year olds bedroom……
    Hope next week proves better for you as far as work goes!

    Something tells me we’d need more than one bottle and one pack. We should go to one of those box stores and buy the giant econo size. Cool, what time should I expect you? πŸ˜‰


  4. Uggghhhhhh! 6 yr old bedrooms! *shivers*

    Well WC, it’s a good thing you like interesting! I’d join you for that scotch this week, but well, you know!

    Chin up my dear! I’m betting things improve once that ex-manager is outta there. Spend the weekend in a hot tub with a good book and hopefully you’ll feel better come Monday.


    Yeah that cleaning up the 6 year old’s bedroom was a scary image, eh? lol.

    I’d love it if we could go drinking together someday – now that’d be a real hoot.

    Don’t have a hot tub, but I do have a space heater and of course, plenty of books so I may play shut in this weekend. Good idea.



  5. My Gawwwduhhhh girl you have been targeted by the “Corporation.” You have been moved to the top of their list!!!!! Get out now!!!!! Run WC RUN and don’t look back!!!!

    Hmmm does “Zelda” = Rodney?

    I have no idea what compelled me to do a search for what “Zelda’s” name means. But, here ya go. All sites agree that “Zelda” means “luck”. However, at one site I came across this.

    Either means “luck” in Yiddish or else is a short form of GRISELDA.

    And what does Griselda mean?

    Derived from the Germanic elements gris “grey” and hild “battle”.

    Grey battle? Uhhuh. That has the “Corporation” written all over it or you have run into my ex-wife. Bless you my dear. Bless you.

    No, Uncle Squawk – Zelda is not the new Rodney. She’s my chum. She is consulting this practice and she brought me in to help straighten things out. Though we sometimes have different management styles and drive each other up the wall. But yeah, I’m hearing ya on that corporation thang. I always feel like such an imposter in these types of jobs. Hopefully, there will be plenty of blog/fiction fodder from it – looking on the bright side. πŸ˜‰


  6. yeah, i could go for about a fifth of scotch right about now.

    Cripes Reggie, we better never meet in person – we’d be such bad influences on each other. lol. πŸ˜‰


  7. I love the idea of just writing and reading. I’d sit in a big comfy chair with a cup of hot tea and I’d be very happy.

    It’s been cold in Washington, too. The snow is starting to melt, which I’m actually thankful for. I don’t care much for being cold.

    You totally got my picture on that. Sitting in the big comfy chair, with a hot mug of something – a book and a notepad and pen – while it rained or snowed outside – fire blazing…yep there I am right now. See me? πŸ˜‰


  8. Ahhh. Straight into the office drama! Lucky you!

    Oh yeah, that’s me, the lucky one. πŸ˜‰ We even had some tears today. Not mine – but still coulda used a frozen margarita.


  9. i’ll bring a dish to pass, and some Kalua (sp?), scotch is a little too much for me….hehehe…yep I admit it, I’m a total light weight!!

    FC (5 lbs from CC)

    Okay, I’ll keep the scotch and you keep the kahlua – we’ll share the chocolate.


Comments are closed.