Is There an American Idol Under There?

Posted on by writerchick

I have to tell you I am so not impressed with anybody so far. I know I am new to this American Idol thing – and really maybe I was only meant to watch one season and be on my way. And if the auditions so far are any indication that could be quite true.

For the most part we’ve seen the typical bi-polar individuals who look like they’ve got on their makeup and costume for the big scene in a horror movie – and who sound like tortured souls risen from the depths of hell.

Then there are the simply clueless bambi types who have that big-eyed disappointment when they are told no. As though they don’t understand what the word no, means.

Then the ones who look relatively normal but have way more confidence than talent – and when they flake out on the first song, start singing other songs, sometimes changing up to three times before the judges finally manage to shut them up. “Just give me one more chance,” they all say. “I need a glass of water. I need to go to the bathroom.” Whatever. Do they really think that the judges will forget how bad they were during the 3 minute break – or that they will instantly become genius after they empty their bladder.

I’ve seen 4 or 5 people who will likely make it to the top 24. The blonde girl, they guy named sundance, the guy who looks like a cross between Fidel Castro and a Hassidic Rabbi, the bald guy whose kid was born the day of the audition and the back up singer who looks like a young Gladys Knight. I don’t think we’ve met the idol yet. My prediction. And believe me, there is not a Chris, Kelly, Paris or Taylor among them yet. This could be a really boring year.

This part of the show is always somewhat painful from what I understand – but so far it’s really sucked even the weird auditions were weird creepy, not funny. Remember the mom and daughter look alike team? She had blonde hair and mom was a brunette. Weird glasses, frizzy hair, braless, horrible clothes – and this girl went on and on about how sexy she was. I’m telling you, the meds need to be upped, seriously.

Tonight is another night of agony. Not sure I’ll make it through unless they start showing at least a couple of people worth hearing.

WC

10 thoughts on “Is There an American Idol Under There?”

  1. I said at the end of last season that I was done…wouldn’t watch again. Weeelll, I’m watching…but in my own defense, I’m not investing. I honestly can’t do it again. While I am watching and saying OMG! or Wow, not bad! or even hummm interesting, I am just not that wrapped up in it.

    LOL! Well, so far darlin’ there seems little danger that either one of us will be doing any serious investment. 😉
    I think we’re safe this year.
    WC

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  3. What’s Carol Bayer Sager smoking these days?
    At first I thought it was Liz Taylor after a wicked facial skin tuck. Yoiks!

    ~m

    Okay, thank you! I thought I was the only one. The blue tinted glasses, the big hair – wtf? I never woulda recognized her if they hadn’t said her name. Double yoiks!
    WC

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  4. Looked abit more like Joan Collins to me Michael! Absolutely LOVE that deer caught in the headlights look of the tightly stretched face lift!

    Yeah, she really did look like Joan Collins, huh?
    WC

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  5. Keep in mind also, that they are MOSTLY only showing the freaks and not the “actual” people who were good enough to make it through. I go through this every year, and every year, they show more freaks and less good auditions (ratings ya know) to me, it’s just plain painful to watch someone go on & on & on with the most horrendous voice for like 12 minutes before they finally say, NEXT…..Once it actually gets to “Hollywood” i’m sure the favorites and the be-otches will start to shine than we will be a little more into it. I always wait until that point, if it still hasn’t gotten you glued, than well you know you are now truly IDOL FREE….

    l/y
    FC

    You know other people have said that to me before too. I don’t understand that – why would they pass through people to Hollywood without our seeing the audition? That seems wrong? Isn’t the idea that they want you cheering for someone?d Whatever…I don’t think this year they’re going to suck me in. I may in fact be idol free, as you say.
    l/y
    WC

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  6. I can’t handle it. The auditions and the noises I mean. Due to location, I usually go for Canadian Idols, which of course never turn out as big as Kelly Clarkson, Ruben (and Clay), or Carrie Underwood. Either way, I don’t tune in until it’s about down to the last 6 contestants. They usually the last 6 make for pretty good music entertainment….. before that,well, if I want to hear bad singing, all I have to do is listen to myself 🙂 .

    LOL Spaz – me too – if I want to hear bad singing I can listen to me. But usually, I think the bad singing is reserved to the beginning stages. Once they get to the last 24 then you’re hopefully into some talented kids. I guess we’ll see if there is anyone who floats my boat this year – but it’s not looking good yet.
    WC

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  7. I haven’t been able to bring myself to watch this before, but I did catch one audition show (bald guy with baby) and I was dumbfounded with all the crap that they have to go through to find the one star. Goodness. Made my head hurt.

    Yeah, the audition part is painful to watch. I guess the worse and more bizarre the better the ratings. It’s better during hollywood week because then they start to show you the kids who actually have talent. I think. I have only watched it one season so maybe I just lucked out with a good season and the rest suck. I’ll keep you posted though.
    WC

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  8. I just have one thing to say, “Don’t you wish your girlfriend looked just like me?” 🙂

    OH my, are you flirting? Oh…right…yeah somebody who was really gross said that to Simon on the show, right? Eeeeooooowwww! It’s so scary one just must watch, isn’t it?
    WC

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  9. That is the song the Mother/Daughter duo you mentioned auditioned with goofball. 🙂 I think my jaw stayed open the entire time I was watching them because it was like I couldn’t believe that these two women actually felt that the daughter could sing. I was like are you serious? Anyway, people say all kinds of crap to Simon because they think that if he wants them that they will be famous. On a side note, have you noticed how inappropriate some of the comments they (the judges) make to the people auditioning are? like with sexual undertones? It’s like “hey baby you looking fine, what you gonna sing for us”. Translation: (It doesn’t matter if you can sing, are those real?).
    I don’t know, I think this goes along with the whole bad art thing you were talking about too. Yet, I must say I can’t stop watching it, it’s like a train wreck, or that show about the ‘little’ people.

    Yeah…see, I knew it sounded familiar. In my defense I started a new job recently and had major work done on my car – does that excuse my empty-headedness? And oh boy, I had the same thoughts with those two. It was really creepy and I kept thinking – ‘please put on a bra, or at least stop flopping around’ 👿 I know, my bad.
    WC

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  10. If it’s anything like my job, it does. Last week I actually removed my brain, threw it away with the eggs I left sitting out for a day, and rolled it out to the curb to be picked up by waste management in the morning. …I’m still looking for it.

    LOL! Now I know why you come by here – you can’t do your comedy routine on your blog. LOL. Do you juggle too? You are a scream! 😆
    WC

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