Really Stupid Shit Part Deux

I know you’ve all been out there waiting with baited breath for a sequel to this really popular post because when you get right down to it, you just can’t get enough stupid shit. But I like to change things up lest I end up in a rut, so rather than favorite stupid shit – I think we’ll go with annoying stupid shit this time out.

Ready? Good. Here we go

Stupidest remaining Idol Contestant: Tie. Sanjaya the bad singer with the good hair and blindingly white smile – who couldn’t sing if his life truly depended on it. He is only still on the show because weeping pre-teens can’t tell the difference between love and their impending hormones. It’s sweet in a real icky kind of way. But I hate to break it to you folks, he is one of the Top Ten. Any arguments that maybe they should have stopped at season 5?

The other ‘idol’ vying for the title is Chris Sligh (Sly? Are you kidding?) who is the self-appointed “Taylor” contestant for this year. He acts like a dark horse (he thinks), sings the same songs/material as Taylor (tries to Christ-i-cize it?) and just goes off key and nasal, does the fro thang, strolls through the crowd but looks like he wants to slap them out of his way rather than interact. Oh and his fans are calling themselves the Fro-Patrol. Excuse me while I puke. This kid is about as sincere as Paris Hilton while she is hanging out with her girlfriends’ boyfriends unchaperoned. He is the biggest phoniest jackass of a contestant I’ve seen on the show. I’ll bet the voice isn’t really his – he probably pipes it in through his ass from some high tech Ipod mike accessory. Pass the barfbag.

Stupidest Title for a movieMimzy or some shit. I don’t CARE if it is good. You just don’t call a movie Mimzy if you expect anyone over the age of three to go see it. Hey Joe, see any good movies lately? Oh yah Marge and I saw Mimsy – it was really fabulous. Jeez – come on!

Stupidest Talk Show Host: Rosie O’Donnell. What her producers seem to be missing is that talk show hosts are supposed to encourage the guests to talk. Not to slap them, gag them and force feed them their personal, commie, leftie, eco-whacko, insane-o views. Or am I missing something?

Stupidest TV Show: Oh there are soooooooo many but let me pick one from the new batch of shows. Now, mind you I am not going after any reality shows since in my mind they really aren’t tv shows but more like amatuer contests that are televised. No, I’m going after real, shows that are supposed to be real. Okay – Studio Sixty. I mean, hello? What the frick are they thinking here? First of all is Amanda Peet really going to go for Bradley Whitford? The guy has a huge head, it’s even a little scary. Imagine that coming at you ladies for a little good night smooch. Oh yeah. And then Matthew Perry is so schizoid he needs at least 10 offices for all his personalities and the girl he is supposed to be in love with is just too normal to ever really be attracted to a malignant narccissist like him and all his self-righteous spewing crapola. And remember folks, this is supposed to be a comedy, which means funny, right? While really all they are doing is tripping over themselves to spout whatever political ‘message’ is cool and p.c. and see who can talk the fastest. In a phrase it SUCKS!

Stupidest Rock Star: Hands down Bono: Where oh where do I begin? Okay, first of all is he really even that good of a singer? He is ugly as sin – so ugly in fact, he has to wear sunglasses everywhere he goes so the ugly rays do eat the flesh from his face and that of his fans. But what really makes him suck is this pompous, sanctimonious world peace faux world leader act of his. Does he really think anybody (who doesn’t want to get free tickets to rocks concerts populated by other pompous egotistical rock stars) is even remotely interested in his world plan? Sorry bub, but you actually have to get elected by people who know they are electing you, in order to have a say in what my country is going to do about anything. And by the way champ, get the hell out of the U.S. and U.S. affairs, who the hell asked you? How do you get off even hinting at what my tax dollars should be spent on? How dare you take my tax dollars and take credit for what they buy. Kiss my grits, dude. Big time.

Stupidest shit people do to their kids: A picture                             

is worth a thousand words. It’s not bad enought that this child is probably going to be raised by some doped up biker dude and biker chick, they have to turn him into some sort of mini me before he can even learn the words to protest. This mirror image approach to child rearing is just another disease of the yuppified self-absorbed. They don’t want to have children for the joy of having them and raising them to be their own man or woman – but rather they want to raise little clones of themselves so that they will be immortal.

Stupidest phrase: Politically Correct. What in the hell is correct about talking gibberish. I mean under what set of rules, grammar or otherwise does any of this doubletalk even begin to be correct? As for politics – we all know politics are lies and run by the lying liars who lie to get into office. So if something is politically correct isn’t the translation something like perfect lying?

Stupidest Shoes: Those sneakers that are really skates, no they are sneakers no they are skates, no they are sneakers that are skates – they are two, two, two shoes in one. What they are is an accident waiting to happen. It’s bad enough some fool came up with the idea but people are putting them on 6 year old who barely have enough sense not to play in the street much less navigate skating shoes down shopping market aisles . Which of course they don’t and they run smack into you and glare as though you are the cause of all their unhappiness. Between junk food, computers, Ipods and the fact that poor little Johnny shouldn’t have to actually walk to anyplace in the world (not even bed) this ain’t helping in the fight against adolescent obesity.

Stupidest Disease: Again, sooooooooooooooooo many to choose from but let’s go after restless leg syndrome. I mean, come on is this really a disease? From what I’ve read it’s just a magnesium deficiency, which I’d guess you could fix by taking magnesium. Why does every little thing that happens have to be a disease or a genetic defect? Why in the hell isn’t there one damn thing that people are supposed to be responsible for?

Stupidest News Story: The paternity of Ana-Nicole’s daughter. Come on folks, is this really news? I mean are things out there in the big, wide world, so easy going and calm and uneventful that who fathered an aging sex symbol’s daughter gets the headline banner. Not just once but for weeks? Really? So, like world hunger, world peace, tornados, beheadings, none of that takes precedence? Just what I thought all journalists are pussies and idiots who didn’t get their parents’ moneys worth on those fancy prep schools they all attended.

Other things that are just plain stupid pisser offers:

1. People who are too afraid to drive their cars. These are the folks who cause accidents and claim to be in them.

2. Claiming the price of gas is all because of the evil oil companies, with no mention of the taxes, initiatives, regulatory fees and every other little piece of garbage that is added to the price of gasoline which is hidden. No…let’s not tell the truth, let’s blame the guy that provides the goods.

3. Property taxes. Explain something to me, if you own something why would you pay someone else a tax for owning it? What Einstein thought this one up and why the hell does anyone pay it?

4. Giving anyone too young to pay for one on their own, a cell phone. What is the matter with parents today? They give 8 year olds cell phones and Ipods and then wonder how they get hit by cars. Aren’t kids absent-minded enough, you really have to give them things that will completely blot out the world around them? Why not just invest in that Matrix Condo Development now?

5. That cashiers can’t count. You know a bagillion years ago I worked as a waitress and often had to take money at the cash register. So if the bill was $2.26 and they gave you a five so you would count their change back to them like this: 27,28,29,30, 40,50,75, $3, $4, and $5. These days, they take the receipt and pile the bills and the change on top of that and jam it into your hand while peeking at the register to see how much they gave you. Not to mention the fact that they expect you to get the hell out of the way because the guy behind you is about ready to explode because you want to put your change back in your wallet before you grab your bags.

6. Restaurant workers who don’t speak english or have such a difficult time speaking it you cannot understand a word they say – especially at the drive through window. Sorry, but if you’re in America I believe you must speak English well enough to be understood – because if you can’t speak my language do you really think I’m going to trust in the fact that you’ll get my order right or my change? Get real.

7. The cigarette police, the fat police, the second hand smoke police (take your pick) they are the self-appointed assholes who must save society from itself while getting a whole of power for themselves too. Personally, I’m holding out for the bullshit police. I’d love to have some yahoo come along and save all of us from the bullshit that we’ve had shoveled on us from day one. I mean, have you ever asked yourself why it is that despite the trillions of dollars that have been donated and funded into heart disease, cancer, AIDS and so on that there is still no cure for any of it? Don’t you wonder why? Seriously? I’ll tell you why – it’s because they are now cottage industries that hire tons of people who would actually have to find work if cures were found. Most of that money never gets to the level of those who honestly want to find cures or solutions – it gets stuck at the administrative level. Please go save someone who needs saving and leave me alone. I am willing to accept responsibility for my actions.

8. Social Security and Medicare: Is there anyone of my generation out there who has any dillusions that they will collect one cent of the social security and medicare we have funded over our working careers? Anybody? Cuz if so, I have a bridge in Brooklyn you might want to take a look at.

Alrighty then, that’s about all my wee brain can come up with today. Feel free to add to the list.

WC

Advertisements

18 thoughts on “Really Stupid Shit Part Deux

  1. WC:

    You can’t see me, but I’m dying– dying of laughter, because every single thing you wrote on this article I completely and utterly agree with. Oh, you are my hero. The end.

    Kenz

    Oh Kenz, you are too cute. I love being somebody’s hero! Do you think they will let me on the TV show? hehe.
    😆
    WC

    Like

  2. I will have to address these separately. Here goes….

    Crap! I’m guilty of some of these!!

    I don’t care – you’re one of my best friends and I will make allowances for you that I won’t for others, so there. hehe.

    My kid has the stupid – two shoes in one – (paid for them herself) and IS an accident waiting to happen. In fact, we’ve been to the chiropractor twice because she’s fallen on her ass. But she knows when it’s appropriate to skate and when not (crowded store isles – Not). I figure it’s just the latest crazy thing to put wheels on that kids can test their ability to control their bodies with. As long as they aren’t being an annoyance or danger to others with whatever the latest craze is (and are only risking moderate bodily injury), I say go for it!

    Ah, you’re just jealous cuz you didn’t have them when you were a kid. I know, I can totally see you in those things.

    And, my kid has the cell phone!! Yes, she got it at 8 years old. I’m such a bad mom! 😉 With her being the biggest chicken shit on the planet though, it’s been a life saver. It’s allowed her the confidence to go places without me attached to her constantly. She’s finally able to sleep over at friend’s homes since it’s not only her “safety net” it’s also a personal night light. It, literally, has been the key to independence for her and worth every penny of the $10 per month I pay for it.

    I did make sure she knew, the day she got it, I’d kick her ass to kingdom come if I caught her showing off with it or getting caught up in stupid constant phone calls with it. So far, so good.

    Okay, I’ll let you slide on this one because you gave it to her for a specific purpose and with rules and for her wellbeing.

    AND I have restless leg syndrome. I don’t consider it a disease or disorder though and don’t take any drugs for it. Because I KNOW it is something I’m doing or not doing that’s causing it for the last 15 years. It’s annoying as all fucking hell but, when I’m willing to take the time to focus on consistently doing what it takes to handle it, it will go away. Just like my fat ass will go away if I was willing to do what it takes to remedy it.

    On this one, actually I was making fun of myself, cuz I have it too. But I found that if I take a good dose of magnesium daily it doesn’t bother me. It’s the commercials that drive me crazy pushing this drug or that, as though it is a devastating thing, you know?

    Last guilty stupid thing: I dressed my kid up as a biker!!! Halloween day 1997. Oh My God, she was so stinking cute!! Harley Davidson leather jacket, jean jacket with cut off sleeves over it with “*—-‘s* Angles” on the back. I figure, if I went through the hell of giving birth to them, I get to have fun with them until they start to voice their own opinions. Then I have to grit my teeth and make the best stupid fairy princess dress out there.

    I wasn’t talking about Halloween costumes, so you’re off the hook.

    On all the rest of your stupid shit, 100% agree!!

    LOL – is there anything left? 😉
    WC

    Like

  3. Agree with most everything you’ve said above…but I must confess to being one of ‘those’ Moms whos got her kids cell phones and continues to pay the bills each month! Alot easier knowing communication is open and available 24-7 when you’ve got new young drivers in the family who are trying to go to school and work. Most places that will give them jobs will work them until late at night (once they hit the magical age of 17 its presumed that they are capable of going to school and working until midnight or later ON A SCHOOL NIGHT)…. The cell just gives ME a false sense of comfort!

    Maybe I should have clarified more on the cell phones, I’m talking about the incessant yakkers who are talking to their girlfriends or whoever about nothing and not paying attention to what they are doing. Cell phones obviously when used for security purposes make sense.

    WC

    Like

  4. haha! i have to laugh at the shoe/skate one because my son got a pair for Christmas (they’re called heelys) and whenever i decide on a whim to go to the mall he gets all irate because he didn’t wear them.
    the rest of the stuff i’m totally on your side about. especially Rosie.. Gawd! what an idiot!

    I know! Wouldn’t you just love to bitch-slap Rosie. Or have the power to actually make her shut up and listen for five whole minutes? Now that would be fun.
    WC

    Like

  5. Hi,
    “And remember folks, this is supposed to be a comedy”
    I think it’s supposed to be a drama, actually, set in a comedy show environment. I know, it’s confusing. But really, it’s not a comedy nor was it meant to be one.
    It’s like Scrubs. You would think it’d be a drama since it’s set in a hospital but, look at that, it’s a show to make you laugh! And laugh some more! So maybe you could watch Scrubs if you need comedy in your life, or, I don’t know, The Daily Show (also a show that’s funny despite its theme)
    Don’t be fooled, young writer chick, don’t be fooled.

    Well howdy Decatur. Sorry to disagree with you but the show was billed and promoted as a comedy – perhaps they have changed their minds now that they realize it isn’t funny – but well that’s not my problem. Besides, who would watch a drama about the making of a comedy show? That just plain doesn’t make sense.

    No worries…I’m not fooled. Believe me.

    WC

    Like

  6. I heard that there’s some site out there that is encouraging people to vote for the worst contestant just to keep them on the show. When it gets to that point, the spirit of the show is gone, and they should end the show.

    Mimsy comes from The Jabberwock by Lewis Carroll. All mimsy were the borogroves, and the mome raths outgrabe. How sad is it that I know that?

    I haven’t liked Rosie since A League of their OWn. Annoying.

    Nick likes it. I pretend to like it for him. The whole Matthew Perry romance thing is annoying already.

    I still like his voice.

    Yeah. Polluting the gene pool.

    I don’t like being politically correct. It’s no fun.

    I hate those too. Elle wants a pair. I won’t buy them.

    Let’s all medicate!

    Gag me. In a way I liked her, but girlfriend was a whore.

    Agree, Agree, Agree, Agree, Agree, Agree, Agree, Agree.

    LOL Lass, you have such an efficient way of responding. I had to look at the post to see what your reaction was to what. 😉
    WC

    Like

  7. Whew! Glad I’m off the hook 😉

    Re: kids with cell phones. They ARE stupid when the kids disconnect even more from the world around them with all their gadgets. One interesting thing I found out when my daughter started getting more and more calls from her friends and the conversations started going long and stupid – She didn’t know how to END a conversation! It would go on and on about the most inane crap because she didn’t know how to get off the phone! I gave her some hints and now her conversations are short, to the point, and she ends them with “Well, I gotta go now. Bye!” Maybe the kids out there are just stuck and don’t know how to get off the phone 😉 But, then again, they throw on their iPods and disconnect from the world around them as soon as they are off the phone so that may not be it. I think I just got lucky that my kid seems interested enough in life that even though she’s got every gadget known to man, she rarely spends much time sucked into them.

    And, YES!! I’m insanely jelous of the shoes with wheels! 😉 I can see me with them as a kid but as a gray haired fat lady… I’ll just have to live through the kids on this one 😉

    I’ll email you later about the RLS. I hate the commercials too. Make it sound so dramatic and “Oh my God, I better take the next new drug”. I’ll try the mag and let you know what I’ve tried too.

    Love ya!
    Kelly
    I just knew you wanted a pair of those rolly shoes for yourself. LOL. Good catch on the cell phone dilemma with your daughter. You are lucky, your kids are aces.

    Yeah, do email me about the RLS – mine comes and goes, so it makes me wonder what the heck is up with it.

    WC

    Like

  8. Pretty good list although in all honesty I must admit that I suffer from restless leg syndrome. At least it doesn’t cause me to suffer from kneejerk reactions.

    Aw Evyl, I love you – you always make me laugh. And it’s always a good ol’ guffaw too (my favorite kind of laugh).
    WC

    Like

  9. I agree with alot of what you said WC. Rosie should be bitch slapped along w/my mother-in-law! 🙂 The Heelys are to me way too dangerous. Alot of the kids we know that had them, got rid of them due to broken bones. Also you can’t wear them to school so the trend here seems to have died down where Heelys are concerned. As for the phones – OMG I hate it when an adult is in the store/bank and talking with no courtesy for others and I mean they are having like a full conversation! Get a life that annoys me. I do NOT answer my cell in the store, only if it’s my kids school. Derrick had one (prepaid) only for rides to and from school. He abused the “privlidge” w/text messaging and downloading all kinds of crap so NO MORE CELL phone for him. I’m sorry to say I never did like or get U2 or Bono. As for the restaurant workers not speaking English I’m sooo sick of that, I’m all for people keeping up w/their cultures at home but here in America speak English please at least at work. Finally I have to say that when I worked at night for Price Chopper (large supermarket chain here) I was called on not counting back the change. Immediately I started to count it back and since then I’ve always been aware of those who do not count it back and today it should be much easier with the computer scanning everything etc.

    Hey Buggsie! You know, I’d pay real money to see you bitch-slap Rosie. Hell, I’d sell tickets. Maybe we could buy you a house then. Wouldn’t that be tres’ cool? 😆

    Yeah, I know whatyou mean about the cell phone conversations – it’s kind of icky, like you are being forced to listen in on private conversations and learn way too much information about strangers standing on line at the bank with you. Can I just say eeeeoooowwwww?

    Yeah, we want our change counted back to us. Besides the fact that we will know it’s correct, it’s just the polite thing to do. right?
    WC

    Like

  10. Actually, from a purely musical standpoint Bono has some pipes.
    You may not like what he does but the man can sing.
    This is a great post because I think there’s something for everyone here.
    I’m with you 100% on the I-Dull thing. Terrible this year.
    My wife was watching the news the other night when they announced the Anna Nicole finding.
    My wife looked at me feigning surprise and said, “Oh, my God! An Overdose!?!?!”
    Good stuff.

    ~m

    Okay Mikey, since you are a musician I’ll let you say nice things about Bono…but not too much. 😉

    That’s funny about your wife’s response to the news about Ana-Nicole – I had the same reaction. Of course the day it happened that was my assessment then. It’s sad that someone so young and lucky in life in many ways wasn’t able to control things enough to enjoy it.

    And yeah! Oh curly top is history! Fantastic. Now if they get rid of bizarro boy I’ll be happy.

    WC

    Like

  11. I am in almost total agreement with you. Geez, I read so much I don’t even know where to start, so I’ll start here. I think it’s a hootenanny: funny, funny, chuckle, har, har good. The people who dress their kids like mini rednecks, classic. Anna Nicole Smith, who’s that? I wish I knew (roll eyes here). I feel pretty sorry for that baby girl, what a mess. I think I told you already that Sanjaya’s hair last night made me choke on my ice cream. Mimsy? Haven’t seen it. Rosie? Loud, boisterous, and obnoxious. I won’t even start in own the whole ‘do we ever own anything in this country’ thing. Gas, I hate paying for it, but must have it in order to fuel the monster I drive. Politically correct, who needs it. If people were more honest about things, there’d be less confusion, no matter what your opinion at least people would know where you stood. I agree with Micheal about U2, was a good band, Bono must need something to do with all his money and free time, I think Ireland probably still has some issues. You no speaka da english? Shame on you. However, I must say I sat for a mani/pedi yesterday and was pleased that I didn’t have to engage in small talk with anyone. I needed a few to relax. And RLS, stupid name sure, it exists though. You never think about it until you try to sleep next to someone that has it, you start considering there may be a problem when you get drop kicked into the other room in the middle of a deep sleep. And there are so many stupid shows on TV these days that I am considering turning off my cable before I become a serious idiot. Thanks for the post. Insightful and thought provoking. Anabel

    LOL – now how much coffee did you have before you wrote this? 😉 Good point about the manni/peddi – same here, sometimes you just want to zone out. Bono definitely has too much time on his hands. But the thing I loved most about what you said was If people were more honest about things, there’d be less confusion, no matter what your opinion at least people would know where you stood.

    Boy do I ever agree with that!
    WC

    Like

  12. geez I didn’t realize I typed so much. this little box is deceptive.

    No worries, I like chatty readers.
    WC

    Like

  13. I seriously cannot agree with you more. I could try, but I’d fail.

    Those rollerskate shoes are probably the stupidest thing ever to be invented. Whenever I see a little prick on with those things I want to push them down an upwards escalator.

    I also hate people who put “please RSVP” on invitations. Are they not aware of what RSVP stands for? It’s redundant, and subtracts about 70 IQ points from anyone who uses it.

    This Anna-Nicole hooplah has to stop. Everyone knows I’m the father.

    Also, I wasn’t aware that Bono was still alive. Didn’t he die in a skiing accident or something?

    God, you make me laugh. Bless you my boy. And I’m so glad you were able to sort out that paternity issue for us. 😆
    WC

    Like

  14. Two things:
    I’d love to see you type this up, I feel for the poor keys that are probably bruised and battered by your passion! 🙂
    And being me, I’d have a hoot to take you out for a drink and challenge you on some of your thoughts. Only problem, your passion would probably just about blow me back out through the pub doors, like the loosers you see in old Westerns. 🙂
    PS. (Yelling back in from outside the pub): can you at least let Bono live? I love his older music and I do feel he actually has the obligation to campaign for what he is campaigning for given his fame. Also, at least in this country the Politicians got about as much out of him (publicity and voter attraction) as he did by letting him speak.
    PPS (buying my ticket back into the Pub): saw that American Idol dude yesterday. Yes, I think he’d be better of cleaning toilets. (hm, wonder why I came up with that image……)

    Oh Spaz we could have some fun in the pub drinking and debating. And I’d be careful not to blow you out of the room. I have no problem with Bono living – if he would just shut up and sing I’d be happier though. I don’t go around telling the Brits or the Irish or the Canadians what to do with their money and foreign policy – I simply would like him to return the curtesy.

    Not sure which Idol dude you meant, curly or big smile kid but one of them is history – thank God! The toilet thing was funny.
    WC

    Like

  15. It’s just that one hair-do reminded me of a toilet brush, and the squeeky clean smile below it…. well, you get the picture!

    Oh great, now I have that visual running around in my brain. 😆 Spaz, you always bring a fresh perspective.
    WC

    Like

  16. Just remember to flush!

    (sorry, it’s Friday at 51 minutes prior to the weekend and I just couldn’t sit on that response…… )
    Have a wonderful weekend.

    LOL – you just can’t leave well enough alone, can you? Oy!
    WC 😆

    Like

  17. Fell across you through another reader, linking, and linking to another person, and another…..

    Love your thinking process. So obnoxious…yet so true. I’ll be back since you made me laugh. I needed a good laugh.

    Hi Jess Em and welcome to my humble abode. Yes, there is nothing like obnoxious thinking to get people going. It’s a dirty job but somebody has to do it. And if I gave you a laugh when you needed it then I’m happy I was able to do that for you. Apparently, I’m the funniest (undiscovered) girl on the internet. 😉 I hope I see you again.
    WC

    Like

Comments are closed.