Chocolate Goes Underground?

You know I was thinking…I know, it’s dangerous when my gray matter gets going…but I digress. This world is getting more and more politically correct. Things we thought were just plain normal a decade ago could possibly be against the law today. For instance, what if some yahoo junior Congressman decided that chocolate was a public danger? What if they made it against the law?

Now, you’re probably laughing and think, oh that’s just too ridiculous but hey transfats are against the law in New York now, right? Why not chocolate? It release endorphins, changes moods, contributes to body fat, cholesteral and makes otherwise sane people drive to the grocery store at three in the morning. Face it folks, chocolate creates altered states in we humans. Somebody could probably make the case that it should be added to the list of schedule one narcotics.

But oh for the humor of it, I wish it would happen. Imagine, we’d have chocolate police. Belguims would be considered risks to national security (unless they gave up their recipes and revealed the locations of their factories). People would start smuggling it in from Switzerland, black market racketeers would be producing car panels made of chocolate and some poor housewife would be busting in the dead ofΒ  night by the chocoloate police, whilst munching on her front bumper.

There’s be chocolate labs tucked away in abandoned buildings, small apartments and little out of the way cafes across the country. People would be stopped to have their breaths sniffed by the chocolate brigade.

Valentine’s Day would be a thing of the past. Christmas, Mother’s Day, Birthdays, anniversaries would all be a little less fun and delicious. Cake would only come in vanilla and fruit flavors. Hagan Daas would go out of business. A whole section of Starbuck’s menu would be erased.

PMSing women everywhere would be roaming the streets looking for their fix – and beating up their spouses if they didn’t come through. Easter would be one big hard boiled egg.

Millions of people would be thrown out of work and have to earn their incomes working for shady folks who knew how to move the goods. It would be a veritable nightmare.

I can feel myself breaking into a sweat, my heart is racing and I’m starting to pant a little. Please, not the chocolate!!!!

Gotta go, there’s a 1 pound trader joe’s chocolate bar I have a date with. Just to be on the safe side, I’m going to plant some in my garden and see if anything grows. Hey, it couldn’tΒ  hoit. πŸ˜‰


11 thoughts on “Chocolate Goes Underground?

  1. You should check out schokinag chocolate WC
    they have what they call drinking chocolate that makes the best hot chocolate

    LOL Ger, is that the same as Hershey’s syrup? I know I used to drink it when I was a kid and nope, I didn’t bother with the milk cuz it thinned it down too much. πŸ˜†


  2. This was so funny, Chica.
    You know, this isn’t terribly unlikely.
    i mean you presnted it with a little embellishment, but with the whole trans fat thing and cities banning cigarettes, it’s not so unlikely.
    Or “they’ll” take all the wonderful out of it.

    I know, Christine – that’s the really funky thing. It isn’t really completely unlikely. And yeah, they’d take the wonderful out of it. Spoil-sports and know-bests always do. Damn them! πŸ˜†


  3. MMmmm.. chocolate handcuffs. Two of my loves in one.

    Yep, nothing like edible manacles to get you going. πŸ˜‰


  4. This was GOOD!!! πŸ™‚

    Thanks, Ra! BTW, whenver I’ve tried to access your page it doesn’t display right. I don’t know if it’s my browser or what but I thought I’d mention it.


  5. WC, it’s is like a drug, right? Sometimes I’m so anxious and aggravated and I rip open the candy bar wrapper like a rabid animal and within minutes I feel a tingly calming sensation running through my veins. It’s good stuff. Shit, if they outlawed CHOCO-goodness, I’d have to make it in the basement – i’d be down there churning the butter and have the underground black market cornered on the cocoa beans. Shoot!

    Hey Bella,
    You see what I’m talking about? LOL. Yep, we’d be down there with miner’s hats and secret passwords for sure. πŸ˜†


  6. No not like Hershey’s that is an insult I’ll email you their page

    Wow, a fella who takes his chocolate seriously – otay, I’ll check it out. πŸ˜‰


  7. That is so low, throwing in Chocolate and politically correct into the same sentence, how on earth am I going to argue this? πŸ™‚
    I’m not going to.
    Instead I will agree with you fully that some decisions we make (law) raise some important questions.
    Guess it comes down to how much of responsibility lies within the law and how much within ourselves. And where do the lines of freedom and responsibilities cross.
    Very funny and yet very important underlying question.
    Well done.

    Gee Spaz,
    sowwy – I had no idea it would create such conflict for you. And I’m am fully and totally willing to take total responsibility for all my chocolate. I know you are too. πŸ˜‰


  8. That bitch Willy Wonka will be taken into custody by the ATCF- Alcohol, tobacco, chocolate & firearms dept.

    No doubt, DT – no doubt. I didn’t know Willy was a bitch though. Hmm, learn something new everyday. πŸ˜‰


  9. I can’t think but what a person could do with some chocolate handcuffs like in the pic.

    I had a feeling those might appeal to you, buddy. I’m sure you could order some online from somewhere. Gives law enforcement a whole new slant, don’t you think? πŸ˜‰


  10. ” Thanks, Ra! BTW, whenver I’ve tried to access your page it doesn’t display right. I don’t know if it’s my browser or what but I thought I’d mention it.”
    Answer: It is the screen resolution that I work at . 1600X1200! Whenever I get a better monitor, I bump it higher!!!
    So now, I test, after posting an image, (main cause of overrunning lines) the page on a PC running 1280 X 1024 (The Most Common over here at our office). Anything less than that, lines get overlapped. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, though… I am going to post a disclaimer about the resolution, RIGHT AWAY… Thanks for pointing it out, though…
    Hey Ra,
    Thanks for the explanation but I don’t think my computer can do that. (I have memory issues) – At least I know I wasn’t hallucinating. πŸ˜‰


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