The Bargain Gene

I think all of us get some sort of talent from our gene pool. Not just our tallness, or beauty or perfect skin – but actual talents and character traits.

Now, my Ma has many talents and you wouldn’t know it because for the most part, she doesn’t know that these gifts she has are talents. For one thing, the woman can cook. She can cook any ol’ thing she wants and it comes out great. In fact, I truly don’t ever remember eating a experiment gone bad. She is one of those people who can put together dinner for 8 with nothing in the fridge or the pantry. A real talent and one I believe that inspired me to become a good cook and my love of food. She’s also a heck of a gardener, or at least was. She always had the roses, peonies, honeysuckle and God knows what else growing in the yard. But of all the many talents Ma’s gene pool provided the very best one was the bargain gene.

Nobody but nobody could find a bargain like my mother. She had an attitude, a savvy, a radar that could sniff out a bargain and get it in her cart before anyone was the wiser. Her policy- if it ain’t $3.95 or under, it ain’t a bargain. Okay, I exagerate, but with a family of seven and one income my mother fed, clothed and housed all of us. I don’t remember ever going without anything really. Oh sure there was stuff I always wanted but those were extras.

Anyway, this gene has apparently passed down to me. From the time I was old enough to earn money doing anything, I was a shopper. A bargain huntress, always on the lookout for un-noticed treasures and deals of the century. This year alone, I found 2 Kate Spade bags, a Prada bag, a Coach bag, a set of six crystal wineglasses, a rare, limited issue book, and a brand new foot massager, each for under $10.

Thrift stores, consignment shops, vintage shops, back alleys of antique shops, garage sales, outlets, what have you – if there is a bargain I will find it. I just have the gene for it and it all came from Ma.

Every weekend, just about, I’m out there, slugging my way through racks of crap to find the one gem nestled among the trash. Digging through piles of junk and pull out the antique jewelry box or designer silk shirt. I’m telling you, it should be against the law, I’m so lucky in my finds. In fact, if I don’t come home without at least one really unbelievable find, I feel cheated. As if the universe is punishing me or something.

So, while I can’t swim, or catch fish. Can’t do trig or the new math. And will never be able to figure out how to properly program a vcr or dvd player – I will always be able to find food or anything else at a bargain and feed myself and anyone else who wants to join me at the table. While it’s not everything. It’s quite a bit.

Now…what gene did you get?

WC