I don’t know about any of you, but I’ve been proposed to three times. Impressive, eh? Yet, I’m not married. Hmm, something must be out of whack here. Eh? What’s that? Did you ask why? Well let me tell you – in each case (well actually it was four and I did marry one of them, but honestly we were both talked into it, so I’m not sure it counts) there was just a gut feeling, some little voice that said “Don’t do it.”
For those of you who may be toying with accepting a proposal but aren’t quite sure, I offer the following list for consideration before you say yea or nay:
1. His mother still cuts his food and has offered to show how he likes it done.
2. He won’t let you see his driver’s license because he claims it’s a bad picture. Since when do men care if it’s a bad picture?
3. He thinks you should kick in for the engagement ring since you’ll be wearing it most of the time.
4. His idea of a menu for the reception is beer and pizza.
5. He has to drink a sixpack every night in order to relax after work.
6. He’s still friends with all of his former girlfriends.
7. Setting a wedding date is not important after he has moved in with you and you are doing his laundry, cleaning up after him and making him meals.
8. Your remote has a permenant indentation of his thumbprint on it.
9. The only time he speaks to you with any conviction is during sex and while lobbying for what movie to rent on Saturday night.
10. He makes you pick out the ring and then asks the clerk if the deposit is refundable.
11. His ex-wife wants to know your annual income, in case she needs to go back to court and up the child support.
12. He has three kids by a previous marriage but doesn’t want any with you.
13. When he moves in with you, the only thing he brings are his one grocery bag full of clothes and his big screen tv.
14. He won’t tell you where he works and keeps strange hours.
15. His brothers are excited at the prospect of crashing at your place when they are too tired or drunk to go home.
16. He sheepishly tells you he isn’t quite divorced from his first wife yet.
17. He still keeps some of his stuff at his mom’s, or his ex-wife’s house.
18. He wonders out loud, how you’re going to pay for the big fancy wedding you want and why you don’t just go to Vegas, because it includes gambling and free drinks, all for under $300 bucks.
Feel free to add to the list. 😉