Lately, mine has been saying some pretty strange things. Usually it’s the standard admonishments about not getting things done, forgetting to do the laundry, letting deadlines pass me by at warp speed or being fat. There is the occasional critique on my writing but I’ve learned to ignore most of those and I hardly hear them anymore.
But lately…mine has been telling me to ‘wait.’ Yep, that’s it. Just, ‘wait.’ It refuses to answer my questions: “Wait for what? Is something going to happen? Do you know something I don’t know? I hate to wait, why do I have to wait? Can’t you wait and then fill me in with a memo? Wait for WHAT????” Silence. No response, no chiding, no snappy comeback, nothing.
You might say I should ignore my little voice and go about my business. Well, usually I do ignore it – at least most of it – but this time I can’t seem to. It’s as though I am under the spell of the magic mantra, ‘wait.’ Wait, wait, wait, wait. I can’t seem to do anything but obey. Do you suppose it’s the thought police? Are they finally here after all this time?
Maybe it’s my intuition. I have that you know. Oh yes, from the beginning, I have had that funny little ability to sense things. I suppose we all have it to some degree – but mine can sometimes have such power of persuasion that it literally stops me cold. And it can be really annoying too. Luckily, it doesn’t involve talking to dead people – at least most of the time. So, maybe it’s my intuition telling me I should wait. That good things come to those who wait. That patience is a virtue. That an event is coming to which I need to pay attention. If I’m in motion and all crazy and multi-tasking like a loony I’ll miss it. A blur on the screen of life and I won’t have even noticed its coming and going.
Or maybe I’m just tired and need a break. Maybe I’ve been working too hard and my psyche needs a break. Could explain why I haven’t a thought in my head – other than ‘wait.’ Could be why nothing is getting to me in a good or a bad way. It could be….
Consequently, I’ve been playing a lot of computer Mah Jong and Spider. I’m in the wait mode. I’m in a holding pattern. I’m hovering. I’m waiting.
What’s your little voice telling you?