Full Moon on the Rise?

I don’t know about you, but there are a lot of folks who will exclaim “Must be a full moon” whenever they witness odd, strange or outright bizarre behavior. I’m definitely one of them. To be honest, I’ve know idea if there is anything correct in that estimation as far as science is concerned. There are so many views about the mind and soul and what they are and what they respond to and how they respond to what they respond to that it seems it may be anyone’s guess.

Still…I have to say that whenever I have made such an utterance, the calendar nearly always validates my observation. That being the case, there are many signs to tip one off that there may be a full moon coming. I offer the following list as my contribution to public safety:

1. You come home to find your dog is lounging in your bed wearing your silk underwear.

2. You turn on your left blinker to make a left turn and your airbags release.

3. Your mother sends you an age-appropriate, taste-appropriate gift that is the right size, right color and aligns with your lifestyle. And you love it.

4. At every stop light, homeless dudes come out of nowhere to wash your windshield.

5. Your watch stops at the exact moment your hard drive crashed.

6. You wake up late, don’t get coffee, forget your cell phone and have a flat on the way to work – oh yeah, your triple a card is sitting on your desk with your cell phone.

7. A mini van carrying three soccer moms and ten little league soccer players runs the stop sign, narrowly missing you by a fraction of an inch and everyone flips you off, even the dog.

8. Gas prices go up fifty cents in one hour.

9. David Letterman actually says something funny on his show.

10. You win money on a scratcher and when you get home find a bill from the IRS for that exact amount.

11. You take a picture of Fergie to your hairdresser and tell her that you want a cut just like that and you leave the salon looking like Vin Diesel.

12. When you get home from grocery shopping you discover they forgot to put your butter and milk in the bag and in their stead is two cans of butter beans, a jar of marshmallow fluff and a package of Depends.

13. A cat spooks you as you are turning into your driveway and you hit the fence you put up the day before.

14. You discover that your favorite television show has been pre-empted by a chess match between the Yugoslavian and Siberian chess champs.

15. You find 37 messages on your answering machine from a three year who that day had discovered the phone.

Okay, that’s my list, what’s yours?


9 thoughts on “Full Moon on the Rise?

  1. Hi WC,
    I think we go ‘mad’ on a full moon simply because the nights are lighter and we can see, so have more fun.
    My list would be pretty much the same as you, although I categorically deny No 1.

    Hey Anthony,
    It’s as good a theory as any. Denial, eh? You know what that means, doncha? hehehehehe


  2. I was going to say that the items on your list (with the possible exception of 9, which I don’t know about, and 1, since I don’t have a dog) happen too frequently to be lunar, but actually once a month sounds about right πŸ˜‰

    Then maybe there is more to it than gravitational pull? Could be. πŸ˜‰


  3. hey WC!

    Here’s some of my “full moon” occurances:

    The clothes I want to wear are actually clean

    My kids come overnight and DON’T forget anything

    Burger King gets my order right

    I get a check, for any amount, in my mailbox

    A guy that I actually WANT to hear from calls me

    There is something to watch on cable

    None of my friends call me crying

    And have to tell you, as far as your bum theory, that must be location-friendly cuz that shit happens every day in downtown Detroit LOL

    I don’t understand. Are you confusing my bum with the moon? πŸ˜†


  4. Hi WC,

    While my faulty memory doesn’t reach back far enough to do this justice, in this lunar cycle:

    16. my cell phone finally got reception inside our Wal*Mart Super store, so my wife could tell me not to buy 10 of the items she had previously requested, that I had already put in the cart.

    17. the large limb that fell off the huge oak tree next to our house, managed to destroy the only section of our fence that wasn’t rotten and in need of replacement.

    18. two of my lottery tickets for last weekend’s $350 million drawing, when added together, came out to the winning number.

    19. my wife LIKED the birthday present I selected for her.

    20. speaking of my wife, she went to the local DMV to have her driver’s license renewed, for which task she took a day off work, and managed to complete the task in 20 minutes! Beyond that, she claimed the staff were actually polite and helpful!!!

    the Grit

    Something tells me that everyday around your house has the potential for full moon-itis. πŸ˜‰


  5. Funny stuff! I love your humor.
    Of course the moon does have an effect on us, it controls the tides and we are mostly water, therefore we are impacted by the lunar power. That is where the word loony comes from.

    Hmm, well if it’s all about water I wonder why the phrase squishy didn’t get coined. πŸ˜†


  6. Just testing to see if I can leave a comment .. been having trouble doing so .. if it works, feel free to erase.

    Yes, I found this in the spam bin. Jeez, it’s bad enough I get so much spam without having my readers ending up there.


  7. It’s a full moon when all the batteries in the house go dead. At the same time. And I’m left alone. And I’m horny.

    Great post BTW!

    Must have something to do with the magnetic pull, eh? πŸ˜†


  8. Someone said to me the other day that because the moon controls the tides and we are made up of like 75 percent water or some crazy number (not sure specifics) that that is why we react to the moon…lunar cycles. I’m not sure how true any of that is or if it’s scientific fact. I’m having a month of crap like that… too much to name or even believe for that matter. And I’m thinking maybe not so much the moon…… the man on the moon? Perhaps… πŸ™‚ Great post.

    Or maybe you’ve been kidnaped to the moon and are it’s total slave these last few weeks? Could happen. Hang in there sweetie, you’ll make it. I know it.


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