Life’s a Beach

The west coast, or least my part of it is trying to see its way through a wicked heat wave. There was another a couple of weeks ago but it seemed pretty quick and relatively painless compared to this one.

We all bugged out of work early today for various reasons, but chief among them was that the air conditioner didn’t seem to be working too well. It was probably about 90 degrees in my office at 9:30 this morning, and I had to keep going out to reception to try to get some relief.

So, off we went – by the time I reached home at noon, it was 104 degrees. The house is cooler at a mere 89 degrees, that icy temp was reached with the help of two swamp coolers, ceiling fans and floor fans. Yep, I’m dripping on my keyboard as I type this.

And on days (in this case weeks) like this I can think of nothing but heat, sun, sweating and the ceasing thereof. As Scarlett O’Hara might say, “Mah, it’s terribly wahm in here.” I’d have to agree and by the way, Scarlett ol’ girl may I borrow your fan and if you’re getting a mint julep can you bring one back for me too?

I suspect it is days like these that have inspired all manner of hot literary, cinematic, and musical pieces dedicated to this cruel inhuman condition. So let’s see if I can fit them all into one paragraph.

Today I have a Fever and I keep singing Heat Wave in my head as I comtemplate this Long Hot Summer and wonder where The Streetcar Named Desire has got itself to. While Some Like It Hot personally, I feel like A Cat on a Hot Tin Roof on a Dog Day Afternoon. I can’t stand to be near another human being because the Body Heat makes me feel like a Hot Tamale and I want to jump in my Hot Rod and zip down to 7/11 for a Hot Dog. The Hot Tub is on the blink, and since I Can’t Stand The Heat, I’ll Stay Out of The Kitchen. Though I doubt I’ll have Hot Cakes for dinner because I am one Hot Girl. Still, the question that really lingers in my mind is: If you saw a heat wave would it wave back to you?

Be cool.


18 thoughts on “Life’s a Beach

  1. Oh, now THAT bites – the part about your office being so hot. I prescribe no work on Friday, a trip to the beach, and a weekend spent sitting in front of the swamp cooler with a pitcher of margaritas dressed in nothing but a mumu.

    Maybe I could just bring my swamp cooler, margaritas and mumu to work – I’m sure I’d be much happier there if I did. πŸ˜‰


  2. Ouch. Heat waves, among other things, suck. That paragraph you did was superhuman, though!

    Why thank you, DT. Yes, I did feel superhuman after that paragraph – in fact, I leapt a semi-tall building and stopped a plastic bullet with my bare hand just after that. πŸ˜‰


  3. Well, i am near your neck of the woods and the heat is killing me! i am, however, enjoying seeing my mom and sisters

    i miss you, Chica, but i’ll be back soon. i have at least three poems and two stories. Devilish heat is inspiring.


    Hey Mi Amiga!
    I think you’re up Fresno way? I think it’s worse up there than it is here. I’m sure you’re missing the cool greenness of home, yes?

    I miss you too – and can’t wait to see what you’ve got. Too bad we’re not closer – we could meet for margaritas or something and I could tutor you in how to apply mascara and you could teach me Portuagese (sp).
    WC πŸ˜‰


  4. We’ve had 31 straight days of heat between 95-105 degrees. Today it was 90 but with like 200% humidity. I woulda gladly taken the 105 with no humidity. Oh, and we haven’t had rain in over a month either. Bad BADDDD drought goin’ on ’round here.
    I dont see how your office could allow work to be done with little/no AC with the heat the way it is. That’s unhealthy, I would imagine.
    I do hope you find some relief real sooon!

    Oh babycakes, my heart goes out to you. But we don’t have zero humidity – hope it’s about 30-50% – if it were low humidity it would be much more bearable. Apparently we had rain late last night but it didn’t seem to help. The good news is that summer is coming to its end and soon we’ll be wearing sweaters and comfy socks.



  5. Babycakes. *snort* Only my dad has ever called me that.

    LOL – now there’s two of us – ‘sides, you wanted a nickname. πŸ˜‰


  6. Tall building + Heat = “Towering Inferno”. And what about “The Heat is On”?

    The British weather doesn’t inspire such great titles. “It always rains on a Sunday”, perhaps. For which reason “Whisky Galore” is appropriate (at least that’s my excuse)…

    Two good ones which I missed.

    Yes, I hear that even in the summer it’s a bit chilly out your way. Is that true?


  7. I am pretty sure that by living in AZ I am able to sympathize with you on this heat thing– especially since I have only lived in this state for a couple of weeks now. I never thought I would miss the cold weather, but find I was mistaken.


    Hey Sweets!
    You made it! That’s fantastic! How is it going? Arizona is mighty hot – I’ve been a couple of times. It will take some adjustment for you, but you’ll probably learn to love it.


  8. Hi WC,

    Last week in Memphis it hit 105. Since it only reached 94 on my porch, making me thankful I live on the fringe, I’ve been humming Summer In The City ever since. Of course, since the humidity level is right up there with the temperature, it’s still pretty nasty out. Every year a small creek winds its way down our drive and past the barn, fed only by the condensation from our central air unit. Memphis, I suspect, was the original inspiration behind the concept of having a summer home.

    the Grit

    Hi Grit,
    So you’re a conservationist then? Great idea to repurpose the air conditioner water for a crick. Any trout or crawdads in that crick? πŸ˜‰


  9. Sh*t… all I can say, “I am glad I don’t live where you live” lololol… Can we say Dutch Oven…

    Try and stay cool cause I know your feeling ….Hot Hot Hot… πŸ˜‰

    LOL LUcid,
    Oh yes, I’m hot, hot, hot alright. And dutch oven is actually a very good analogy to the current weather conditions. A couple months from now, I’ll be shivering and wishing for summer again though – cuz I’m such a fickle girl. πŸ˜‰


  10. Oh, WC — I know where you’re coming from with this horrid heat.

    The trip we made to Alabama a few weeks ago involved triple digit temperature stops across the U.S. By the time we got to Memphis, my husband had heat exhaustion coupled with food poisoning, and the air was so muggy hot it was like breathing in a sauna. Alabama up in the mountain at my dad’s house was definitely a step up, but still sultry with the kind of humidity that leaves your skin laced with beads of sweat. Any movement results in streams of perspiration pouring down your body. I’m with you on that kind of experience. Nothing evaporates here though, unlike drier California.

    You can imagine how overjoyed we were when we discovered that the central heating in my dad’s house had broken down. We arrived on Saturday and called the heating and cooling guy first thing, who told us we would have to wait until Monday before anyone could do anything about it. We waited two days for the movers to arrive making our priority to jam the window air conditioner we had brought from California into a window as soon as possible.

    Long story short, it took two estimates on fixing the AC and finally by the following Friday the central air was fixed, and the cool air restored our sense of humanity, not to mention our temperments.

    ~ PG

    Hey Girl!
    Been thinking about you guys. I was afraid you were going to hit some horrible heat on your trip. I think there is so metaphysical law that demands that any road trip must be accompanied by sweltering heat, thunder storms, washed out roads or blizzards.

    I imagine Bama is much steamier than here – although, we aren’t getting that nice dry heat – we’re getting some steamy – not much evaporation going on here either.

    Glad you got your air back -at least you’re safe as long as you stay inside. Love to Chief & Chuck.



  11. Hi WC,

    I could only wish! Ah, for the sight of a trout that wasn’t frozen and shrink wrapped! Heck, it would be great just to catch a glimpse of a stream that wasn’t brown. Oh, and compared to trout, bass are far too easy to catch, and really aren’t worth the effort.

    the Grit

    Hey Grit,
    Well personally I’m more of a bass girl myself – never did develop a taste for trout. Although I did catch some up in the San Gabriels a few years back. Beautiful, blue, icy stream that meandered through the mountains. We stood knee deep in that deliciously cool water all day hooking that fish. I enjoyed it more than the catch, truth be told.


  12. A Top Tip.

    Place a bag of ice or a bottle of frozen water in front of your fan. I have never done it but I know people who swear by it. Urmm!! I quess it would work in cars to.
    Peace and Hugs.
    Di. πŸ™‚

    Hey Di,
    Thanks for the tip. I’ve tried that one and it doesn’t seem to do much. Although, I also have done the aussie wet tee shirt thing. You put on a wet tee shirt and position yourself in front of a fan. Like your own little a/c unit. It really works.


  13. β€œMah, it’s terribly wahm in here.”
    I could hear you say this as I read it.
    Funny. Hope you finally cooled off.

    Mah, it’s terribly wahmah in here. Nope, no relief yet. Going to be 107 today. Oh yeah. πŸ˜‰


  14. LOL you are so quaint! i just love you! sorry about the heat though… 😦

    Hey Reggie,
    Thankfully, the heat has broken and temps have returned to normal. I actually slept more than two hours last night. Very nice.


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