The Missing Link

The long search is apparently come to an end. After decades of fruitless investigations, Popeye’s mother has been found in a small, rural assisted living facility in the south. As would be expected, the 150 year old woman starts her day with a big bowl of spinach and a pack of Lucky Strikes. And has a Swabbing the Decks aerobics video in the works.

Papparazzi have reportedly caught glimpses of her famous son but have yet to get a clear shot of the crusty sailor with his elderly mother.

Though staff at the unnamed facility are concerned with Mrs. Sailorman’s smoking, particularly during her oxygen tank sessions, they report that she is in amazingly good health and often will entertain the other residents after dinner by doing a unique shuffle and jig while accompanying herself on the accordion.

When asked her secret to having lived so long, she said: “I live by the green and dag nabbit, I’ll die by the green.” Words to give one pause and ever so relevant in today’s world.

12 thoughts on “The Missing Link

  1. Gummers unite!
    Holy good God, her face looks like a baseball glove.
    Give that lady some linseed oil . . .

    LOL – no wonder I smelled popcorn and peanuts when I looked at it. πŸ˜‰


  2. There’s a national sport in the UK called Gurning, where people with rubber faces pull them into all sorts of shapes, sizes and expressions. The ugliest wins.
    I think this lady has a head start. She could be a World Champion.

    Hey Anthony,
    I suspect you’re right. It gives me the shudders to think how stretchy that face might be. πŸ˜‰


  3. Thank heavens you found Popeye’s mother! And it’s no wonder that she turned up in the South, so hip for her age, keeping up with the times with an aerobic’s video in the works. Just hilarious. Love how you found the perfect characterization for that unbelievablly wrinkled, old, toothless mug. I declare–wherever did you find that photo?!!!!

    ~ PG

    Hey PG!
    Apparently, it was an obscure archeological expedition who unearthed the evidence – I was lucky enough to be on their mailing list. πŸ˜‰


  4. You know, I’ve always felt NOSES can tell so much about a person πŸ™‚

    Thanks for showing me that in spite of all my complaints about my physiognomy, my nose isn’t actually THAT bad …

    (Ooops, I think I pressed “Submit” twice–?)

    Hey Marion,
    I think this proves that nobody’s nose is that bad. πŸ˜‰ Dont’ worry about double posting, nothing seems to have happened but the one comment.


  5. β€œI live by the green and dag nabbit, I’ll die by the green.”

    I can’t help wondering if it’s ONLY cigarettes she’s smoking…

    Hey Tanya,
    Could be she is also smoking her spinach – or perhaps she has mistaken another leafy item in her garden as spinach? πŸ˜†


  6. OMG This is too funny! And lord that nose is so big she is swallowing it! –

    Hey, I heard Olive’s dad put an add in the paper for dating… He is looking for someone who fits Popeye’s mom. It can be a family affair!

    Hey Lucid,
    LOL – she does looks like she is going to swallow that nose. I read somewhere that your ears and your nose never stops growing – she seems to the be the proof in the pudding.

    BTW, I tried your link and it’s not working. You still have the site, yes?


  7. LOL …. Yes, I still have my site. I guess it would help if I wrote the URL correctly πŸ˜‰

    Ok, this one should be good to go. Thanks for bringing it to my attention!

    Have a great day!

    Cool. πŸ˜‰


  8. Reminds me of the thing my dad married….! And no, I’m NOT joking….ask apop if you don’t believe me.
    Cheers, Kelly

    Yikes! All I can say is you have my sympathies. πŸ˜‰


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