Writer Chick Talks

My buddy Karen is handing out questions for her fellow bloggers to answer. I held up my hand and asked for a few. Although, she went easy on me and didn’t include any sexually explicit, politically polarizing or downright embarrassing questions, I did my best to sound racy and edgy. And now…the interview….

1. Which season best describes you? Why?

Summer, because I’m hot and steamy, I always have sand in my pants and frequently walk sideways. And if you held me up to your ear (which would take enormous strength on your part) you would hear the ocean.

2. Are you a Seinfeld person or a Friends person? Why?

While Seinfeld was a funny show, as evidenced by its long run and great ratings – and admittedly, I love the Soup Nazi episode – I’d have to go with Friends. It may be a matter of relatable humor. Seinfeld humor was about nothing – in fact, I think they did an episode about that very thing – or perhaps I’m confusing it with the yada yada yada episode – it’s hard for me to relate to nothing, as funny as it may be. On the other hand, Friends was about a bunch of lamebrain friends who hung out, drank coffee, talked for hours on end, shopped, occasionally worked and whose biggest problems were who was sleeping with which friend on the show. Now you can call the show Friends if you want, but in my mind, they were a bunch of writers – the above described behavior is most definitely writer behavior and someone should have mentioned it to the writers of the show, who should have known anyway. Perhaps they were really writing a show about themselves and thought no one would notice? And since I too, am a writer, there was instant relatability.

3. You live in southern California, surrounded by celebrities! What was your last celebrity sighting?

I have lived in SoCal for many years and through those years I have had many celebrity sightings and even some contact, most notably, Goofy, Mickey Mouse, Snow White, Jaws, Hixie & Trixie of Sea World fame, as well as some human celebrities, who are not nearly as friendly or interesting – Kirstie Alley, John Travolta, Jay Leno, Kathy Baker, Miguel Ferrar, blah, blah, blah – my most recent siting was former American Idol, Taylor Hicks – although I was at a concert he was giving so one would expect to see him there, right? The funny thing about celebrities is that they are, in real life, very tiny people. They look so much taller and prettier on television, whereas in real life, they mostly look like skinny little folks who need some sleep. Contrary to rumors, I have not met Barney the purple dragon.

4. Which animal were you in a pervious life? Dog? Or Cat?

I don’t believe I was ever a cat or a dog – if I had to choose it would be dog – because you can run around, make noise, smell your butt and drool and still have humans who will love you, feed you and provide a nice comfy bed for you to sleep in. I do think that I was once a dolphin, which is kind of strange since I don’t swim, never go in the ocean and hate sushi.

5. Inquiring minds want to know! How is the search for a publisher going?

The search has been long and arduous, with no real results to report. Actually I’m looking for an agent, publishers come next. Providing of course, I get an agent who has contacts to publishers and they can talk them into publishing my book. Back to the search…where was I? Oh yeah, long and arduous. My fingers have callouses from the many query letters I typed, my tongue tastes permanently of glue and nutrasweet, my eyes are crossed and my tees have shrunk. I have now changed to a proactive strategy, wherein I go to several Starbuck’s a day and ask of anyone who has the bad karma of walking in if they are an agent and if they would like to read my book. So far, I have found no agents, but I have gotten a couple of free latte’s, a lot of sympathy and I think a stalker of indeterminate gender.

Well, there you have it folks, my answers. Was it good for you? Anything you wanted to ask that didn’t get answered? Feel free, ask away. If you want a slew of questions from Karen, just drop by here.

I’m sure she’d be happy to lay some on you.

WC