When I’m 64

[ HT to my buddy Jenny πŸ˜‰ ]

Two old ladies, Maude & Mabel, are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke. When it starts to rain, Mabel pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, fits it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.

Maude: Where in the hell did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously surprised since Maude is quite ancient, but it is not his place to judge.

Pharmacist: Is there any particular brand that you prefer, Madame?

Maude: Doesn’t matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.

At which point, the pharmacist promptly fainted.

11 thoughts on “When I’m 64

  1. OMG that was too much!!!! Thanks again for the laugh!

    * I have not written a dear Abby yet… I am having a hard time thinking about a topic/question… Just letting you know I didn’t forget πŸ™‚ Have a nice weekend!

    Always happy to give a laugh. Don’t worry about the assignment – it was just for fun – you don’t have to do it. Just keep it for a time when you’re stuck for something to write – maybe it will come in handy.



  2. Let me see, earlier today I was reading somebody’s list of ways to keep a Healthy Insanity! That should be added – for when you’re ancient – even if you don’t smoke.

    Hey Lolly,
    What made this one really funny to me was because of a little thing that happened with me and my friend Jenny. One Saturday afternoon, we went for lunch and it was such a nice day, we decided to eat on their sidewalk patio. The cafe where we were lunching was on the main street of a little town, which was lined with shops, eateries, galleries and so forth. Anyway, we’re sitting at our table, drinking iced tea, gabbing and taking in the afternoon sun. Suddenly we heard this weird banging – our eyes followed the sound and we saw a couple of older women – one skinny & bowlegged, dressed in the usual polyester ensemble and the other heavyset, wearing hot pink spandex pants and a big tee shirt, cigarette hanging out of her mouth. The big one was alternately kicking and shaking a parking meter. When the skinny one gave her a look, she croaked in her nicotene coated voice, “Damn thing took my quarter.”

    I looked at Jenny and said, “That’s us in 30 years.” Of course we both found it so funny we laughed for about 20 minutes. One of those unending, deep belly laugh fests that just doesn’t die down no matter how hard you try.

    So, now whenever either of us finds something that reminds us of it, we send it to each other.

    LOL – more than you wanted to know, I’m sure.



  3. Older ladies and their condoms! I actually met an 82 year old who told me she was going on a cruise and she was bring condoms “in case she got lucky!”

    LOL – now see, that’s what I’m talking about. πŸ˜†


  4. and the hits keep coming……………
    i’ve got to get up and get a kleenex

    Hey Kimmie!
    I was just thinking about you and wondered where you got yourself to. It’s a hoot, isn’t it?


  5. hohohohoho…

    thats the most ridiculously funny thing i have heard in a dreary lil day like today.

    thank YOU πŸ™‚

    Hey Dharma,
    Glad to have been able to provide a smile. Lord knows, we just don’t get enough of them in our lives, do we?


  6. Thanks for the laugh, that was too cute. Enjoying your site.

    Hi Hope
    And welcome to the coffee klatch. πŸ˜‰ I love to laugh, so I’m always happy to pass one forward.


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