The Peeves of Christmas

Okay, I admit it, I stole this idea from my buddy Christine over at All the Elbows – but it was such a good idea I couldn’t resist.

My pet peeves about Christmas in no particular order:

1. The dang secret santa/kris kringle gift exchange at work. You always end up with the one person you either despise or have absolutely nothing in common with – or the person who drew your name thought a harmonica and pencil was appropriate.

2. People/Organizations that use Christmas to get money from you. Like this time of the year means you should have that extra money to give. I’m all for charities and give to quite a few – but the smarmy ones really irk me.

3. Renaming Christmas to ‘holiday’ – holiday shows, holiday specials, holiday sales, holiday catalogues, holiday cards. It’s Christmas for pity sake, if you utter the word you won’t be struck by lightning. Or maybe you should be – could knock some sense into you.

4. Also, people who are offended by Christmas. Offended? Are you kidding me? Really? I mean, how in the name of anything could it offend you? I’m not offended by others’ religious holidays – Hanukah, Kwanza, Passover, Yom Kippur, Summer Soltice, Winter Festival, Dance of the Faery Druid Day. Why should my (or anyone else for that matter) celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ offend you? Get over it and get a life.

5. How the media always forecasts doom and gloom for the Holiday shopping season. Like the earth is going to open up and swallow us whole if the percentage doesn’t rise.

6. The deer in the headlights you get from most retail employees when you say, “Merry Christmas” it’s as though they’ve lost their ability to speak or just forgot English or something. So far as I know it’s not against the law (yet).

7. People who want to bah-humbug all over my Christmas cheer. I mean, look if you don’t believe or don’t celebrate, it’s fine with me, but don’t give me the look, like you just frech kissed a lemon – or warn me about running up my credit cards. Take your crochety attitude and put it up your own ass, okay? That’s all I’m saying.

8. People who arent grateful for whatever gift they might get. Especially kids. I have friends who have a very spoiled daughter. Last year, I went to their home on Christmas morning for some coffee and conversation – most of which was about how tacky some gifts this child received were – and how her father had the audacity to get her the wrong iPod type gizmo and he was most certainly going to have to back to the store and exchange it for the real deal. What made it worse was that the mom was egging the kid on. Criminy. Somebody cared enough about you to go out and buy you something, wrap it up with ribbons and bows and gave it with love – don’t go dumping on them. Just not cool, not cool at all.

9. Lowfat eggnog. Are you frickin’ kidding me?

10. Those weird little snack gift boxes that some places sell. They always look cheesy and so tiny. I’d be embarrassed to send that sort of thing to someone. Unless they were an elf or something.

11. Soy anything for Christmas dinner. It’s a bean! A bean I tell you!

12. Christmas earrings – you know the kind, they light up or talk or sing jingle bells. They just annoy the heck out of me and I dont’ know why. Of course, I love the reindeer ears and singing Christmas cards, so who am I to criticize the jewelry?

13. People who get bummed out, mad, sad, annoyed, or otherwise unfriendly on Christmas day. Look, so you don’t have any money, the turkey burned and you didn’t that heart shaped diamond pendant you wanted – so what? It’s Christmas, it’s supposed to be fun and joyful. Save the other stuff for the other 364 days a year, there’s always time for it then.

14. Russell Stover candies. God, they make the worst candy on the planet and at Christmas time they throw that junk in a red box and think people won’t know it’s the same crappy candy. Give me a candy cane any day over that junk.

15. Perfect Christmas’s. I know, that sounds a little strange but when I was a kid my Mom would drive herself crazy trying to create the perfect Christmas, from the food to the gifts, to the warm fuzzy feelings we were all supposed to have – she never got it and it always hurt her. The best Christmas’s are the ones where everything goes wrong and yet, somehow you manage to have a great day and feel the love to you, from you and from everywhere. It’s about the love, people, honest.

That’s all I’ve got, feel free to add to the list.


9 thoughts on “The Peeves of Christmas

  1. I hear what you are saying about Russell Stover but I have a fond spot in my heart… I LOVE their old storefronts – purple glass! Unfortunately, the one I’m thinking about is boarded up in a scary part of town… I hear ya! Merry Happy Christmas Holiday to you and yours, C

    Hey C!
    Wow, they actually have stores? I never knew. I’ve only ever seen their candy boxes in the drugstores out here. Merry Happy Christmas Soltice Holiday greetings to you too. πŸ˜‰


  2. Me it’s people that put antlers on their pets…yoikes and your right low fat eggnog :p

    Hmmm….I dress up my dog in santa suits – does that count? πŸ˜‰


  3. OOps. I am a bad guy because I use Happy Holidays a lot, not to minimize Christmas as a holiday but just to cover all my bases. I try not to assume what religion people are or what they celebrate (and I have friends of all different types PLUS the worst memory in history – so I can’t be counted on to remember who celebrates what correctly) so I am guilty of that. However, I think that if someone wishes you well, especially in the spirit of the season that you should just be thankful and not nit pick it. It never fails though, when you try to think of everyone, you always end up pissing off someone. LOL

    Naw Teens, you could never be a bad guy – My big button is that ‘happy holidays’ is the required phrase for the season. Know what I mean?


  4. What I really hate are those years when you have to fly home for Christmas, but your flight is canceled and you have to get across the country with an incompetent yet lovable stranger.

    Oh, I like those kinds of Christmas’s. πŸ˜‰



    Oh, Annie….if I ever need a good laugh, I know coming here will always do the trick. May I add to your list just a little???

    1. Retailers that put Christmas decorations out before HALLOWEEN – for God’s sake, they used to have the decency to let us get through that holiday at least, before cramming fake trees and bad Christmas CDs down our throats. Hey! I know! Maybe if they move it up all the way to March – we can celebrate His Birth AND His death/resurrection all at once with a huge ol’ Corned Beef and Cabbage dinner!

    (I’m NOT sure where that’ll put the Easter Bunny or Leprechans, but hey – Santa could use some more help maybe…)

    Glad you got a chuckle. Oh yeah, the Christmas decorations before Halloween. Criminy – so far, in my town they have the decency to wait until the day after Halloween. Although that whole combo holiday thingie might be fun. πŸ˜‰


  6. I hate that if I say “Merry Christmas” to someone, I immediately feel like I have to apologize, or qualify it, or add “if that works for you… mumble, mumble” as I slink away feeling ever so un-PC.

    I also really hate that Thanksgiving gets lost in the shuffle. It’s always been my favorite holiday.

    Oh me too! Although, I live in a relatively small town where most people still say, Merry Christmas.

    And yeah, they really do push Thanksgiving aside. I remember when I was a kid it was almost as big a deal as Christmas, but now it seems to just be a kind of afterthought or something. Sad.


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