The Motivations of Chicken

LOL – thanks for this, Ger! I just had to share. So that we all could know the many motivations of chickens. WC πŸ™‚

WHY DID THE CHICKEN
CROSS THE ROAD?




DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.





OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.








COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…





ANDERSON COOPER – CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.




JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.



NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.




PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.




MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.


DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.




ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.




JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?’ That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.



GRANDPA:
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.




BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.



JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.



ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.




BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never C%”cra…#@&&^<>C% …….. reboot.



ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?




BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?


AL GORE :
I invented the chicken!



COLONEL SANDERS :
Did I miss one?



DICK CHENEY :
Where’s my gun?




AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens!



And, all this while, you thought it was just to get to the other side.
Don’t you feel silly?

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17 thoughts on “The Motivations of Chicken

  1. I love the Dr. Seuss one. Someone should put it in a book and we’ll get Jim Carrey to star as the chicken in the movie! He can do that dance-thing again.

    I think the chicken just wanted to get away from everyone asking “why do you want to cross the road?” It just wanted to be left alone. πŸ™‚

    LOL CJ,
    My favorite was Hemingway’s response. To die in the rain, alone. Perfect. πŸ˜‰
    WC

    Like

  2. Oh my goodness, those were funny! Thanks for sharing! I guess because I love the Teletubbies so much, the Jerry Faldwell parody was my favorite. I also liked Anderson Cooper’s.

    Hey Windy!
    Yeah those were funny. All of them were. I wish I could take credit for the writing but I can’t – I have no idea who came up with it.
    WC

    Like

  3. OH my goodness! Yes, I feel stupid now.I liked al sharpton’s though! Chickens should not be so racist πŸ˜‰ I also like Jerry Falwell’s and DR seuss’s πŸ™‚ Thanks for the laugh πŸ™‚

    I know those chickens are awful little feathered racists, eh? πŸ˜‰
    WC

    Like

  4. Glad you liked the chicken email WC it is quite a kick.. watch out I see the blogg theif is back and bloggin again 😦

    Hey Ger,
    Which blogging thief? That skanky lea?
    WC

    Like

  5. Chicken…yummmmm……..

    I guess I can relate to Colonel Sanders! lol

    Jennifer

    Yep, we do love our KFC, huh? Actually it’s one of the few kinds of chicken I like. I prefer red meat. πŸ˜‰
    WC

    Like

  6. “Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?”

    hahahheheheee!! Im still giggling over that one.

    I had a feeling Einstein’s answer would appeal to you, missy. πŸ˜‰
    WC

    Like

  7. The reason the chicken crossed the raod was for some fowl reason…. and yes simply lea is back up and bloggin WC

    hehe. As to lea – I think I’ll just leave the trash alone for now. πŸ˜‰
    WC

    Like

  8. This is so funny. To think of all those people who are just so “full of wisdom.”

    Yeah, ‘full of wisdom’ that’s how I’d put it. πŸ˜†
    WC

    Like

  9. This was so good! ROTFL! I may have to get Depends or something if I keep hanging out here!
    Seriously loved it. Wish my pics showed up, but on the other hand if it were any funnier, I would have needed more than Depends. Thanks WC.

    Hey Ange,
    Hanging out here could endanger any truly serious demeanor or train of thought. We don’t laugh enough, right? I mean, we can always use some more laughs. That’s my reason for living, to make people laugh (well, one of them anyway.) πŸ˜‰ Glad you got a kick out of it.
    A

    Like

  10. I know you already have a similar one from Pat Buchanan, but I think it would be funny to add Tom Tancredo to the list.

    Tom Tancredo:
    Live in fear of the chicken in the hooded sweatshirt. The chicken’s children will abuse our welfare and education systems. The chicken crossed the road to see what she could get from the government without paying. I approved this message because someone needs to say it.

    LOL Windy – that was a good one. Did you make that up yourself? πŸ˜†
    WC

    Like

  11. Whats scariest of all about that is the fact that people may ask who Dr Phil or Al Sharpton is, but nearly EVERYONE reading it will immediately know which GRANDPA it’s referring to!!!!
    Cheers, Kelly

    LOL

    Like

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