Dear Editor

(Imagine my delight, when I discovered yesterday that the NY Times had some advice for Republican/conservative voters. Quotes from article in italics and block quoted. WC)

Dear NY Times Editor,
Thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule to do an in-depth analysis on which Republican candidate is best suited to become the President of the United States and for whom I (we) should vote.

We have strong disagreements with all the Republicans running for president. The leading candidates have no plan for getting American troops out of Iraq. They are too wedded to discredited economic theories and unwilling even now to break with the legacy of President Bush. We disagree with them strongly on what makes a good Supreme Court justice.

Still, there is a choice to be made, and it is an easy one. Senator John McCain of Arizona is the only Republican who promises to end the George Bush style of governing from and on behalf of a small, angry fringe. With a record of working across the aisle to develop sound bipartisan legislation, he would offer a choice to a broader range of Americans than the rest of the Republican field.

Being the backward, bible-thumping, cousin-marrying, gun-toting, truck-driving, beer- drinking, country-music-listening, grade school-educated moron that I am, I truly appreciate your going through the pain of the selection process for me (us).

After all, there are only twenty four hours in the day and formulating vast right wing conspiracies take up a good portion of that, with precious little left for bible study and refining effective approaches to perpetrating hate crimes. So, as you can see, I don’t have the time to contemplate anything as inconsequential as who might lead the free world for the next four years.

To say that I am deeply touched by your concern for my political welfare doesn’t begin to describe my feelings about your ever-so-helpful article (endorsement) about/of Senator John McCain.

And what a candidate you have selected for me (us)! There is no Republican on Earth more like Hillary Clinton than Citizen McCain. His uncanny ability to co-opt liberal causes and betray his party and principles of same are unparallelled in the civilized world.

But Mr. McCain took a stand, just as he did in recognizing the threat of global warming early. He has been a staunch advocate of campaign finance reform, working with Senator Russ Feingold, among the most liberal of Democrats, on groundbreaking legislation, just as he worked with Senator Edward Kennedy on immigration reform.

Like Mrs. Clinton, Senator McCain has truly mastered the skill of talking out of both sides of his mouth whilst never moving his lips.

We have shuddered at Mr. McCain’s occasional, tactical pander to the right because he has demonstrated that he has the character to stand on principle. He was an early advocate for battling global warming and risked his presidential bid to uphold fundamental American values in the immigration debate. A genuine war hero among Republicans who proclaim their zeal to be commander in chief, Mr. McCain argues passionately that a country’s treatment of prisoners in the worst of times says a great deal about its character. …

Mr. McCain was one of the first prominent Republicans to point out how badly the war in Iraq was being managed. We wish he could now see as clearly past the temporary victories produced by Mr. Bush’s unsustainable escalation, which have not led to any change in Iraq’s murderous political calculus. At the least, he owes Americans a real idea of how he would win this war, which he says he can do.

For all I know, he is actually a marionette getting his jollies by having your hand up his ass. Which could explain that silly, goofy grin he often wears, as well as his Howdy Doody voice

You make a fine case for endorsing the Senator who never met a liberal cause he didn’t like and a very convincing argument to vote for him – And iff’in I was a Democrat, I certainly would.

Still, I do appreciate that a newspaper with the stature of The New York Times, would have my back in terms of my electorate health and I will check back later to see who you might be endorsing for the upcoming election of the local dogcatcher and the Hunkiest Garbage Man Contest.

It’s nice to know that a main stream publication can be fair and objective in its recommendations to one and all.

Sincerely,
Writer Chick – who apparently fell off the turnip truck yesterday.

If you want to read the article, you can find it here.

Update:

To read a little about McCain’s legendary temperment check this out.