I’m sure by now, most of you have heard the exciting news that we will soon be eating cloned cow, pig and goat. If not, you can catch up here. I for one, am very excited about this new and innovative development. Just think, not only can we have our own favorite milk cow, Bessie – but we can also enjoy her as a steak, rump roast or tenderloin – whilst she still moos in the barn out yonder. It’s a win-win situation, right?
Wrong! Call me crazy, but I have an icky meter that goes off the dial at the very thought of eating cloned food. The argument they make is that it’s just like any other food – other food (they say) is bred through artificial insemination, what’s the diff? Hmmm…maybe because we’re eating a science project. Also what about the inbreeding? You ever have a pedigree animal? They’re froot loops- because (like the royal family) they have been inbred so many times that that line from China Town hits a little too close to the home.
Besides that, it isn’t hard to make cows, or sheep or pigs or any of those edible varmits. We’ve been growing them for a long time and before we came along, they were growing themselves just fine. What is the actual need to clone animals? Based on what the article says they cost 20 times what it costs for a regular animal. So, where’s the motivation? Are they stuffing them with other super ingredients that will make us be more agreeable? That will make us learn to like and trust our politicians? Or something else equally insane?
Are they working out a super market chain for China? Really, why bother if the costs are so prohibitive and the general public is grossed out by the very notion? Inquiring minds want to know.
Personally, I don’t like people engineering my food. I am a good enough cook that I don’t need the extra help. As it is, they already stuff the real ones with hormones and God knows what – so what is going to be in a fake one? And what will we come to call this food? Instead of a cheeseburger we’ll have clone burgers, instead of meatloaf, it will be cloneloaf, prime-clone? t-bone imitation meat? The marketing challenges will be something to overcome to be sure.
Though, now that it’s been approved, with our luck the government won’t require the suppliers to tell us it’s cloned. And it probably won’t be until we all start walking into walls, waking up in the middle of the night with an irrational urge to moo and develop obsessions with grass that they start to rethink it. By then, too, they’ll be a whole litany of odd and strange diseases that people will sue the clone factories for giving them by secretly force-feeding them magic meat.
I have to hand it to them for pulling it off because I mean, how does one even think of such things, let alone do them? But honestly, why didn’t they decide to clone something useful, like gasoline, heating oil, or fifty dollar bills? Now that would be a science project I could get behind. WC