Blogging is my Power

Most of you know that I stumbled onto blogging unexpectedly and through my friend Michael. What started out as a temporary fill in became practically a vocation for me. Little did I know when I started blogging that it would go so well, that people would come and read and do so regularly and continue to do so. It still really blows my mind when I think about it.

The main reason I decided to start blogging was because I wanted the discipline of having to write everyday. For all the years that I’d written up to that point, that was the one thing I’d never been able to master. There were times when I literally went years without writing. I abandoned it many times, believing, or perhaps being convinced that it wasn’t an important or intregal part of my life. Wrong. Because it really is the core of me. And just as painters have to paint, writers have to write. If they don’t, a part of them dies and usually it’s a really good part.

So, with the phrase, “If you write it, they will come,” whispering in my ear I started out on this adventure. The demand and consumption of readers, plus the instant gratification of feedback, through comments, was a heady perfume for my writer’s soul and I blogged at a fevered pitch. The blog gods had their hooks in me and I don’t think I minded at all.

Soon, I had 30,000 hits, then 50,000, then 80,000 and recently have passed the 100,000 mark. Who knew? Not I, to be sure. With awe and wonderment, I simply couldn’t believe that so many people would want to stop by and read what I had to say.

Of course, at some point, life had to go and rear its ugly head and interfer. The job from hell, the this and the that. Always something driving my stress levels beyond what I was used to and ever wanted to get used to.

I started to view blogging with a wary eye and began to feel it was yet another obligation I had to fulfill and when I did post many of posts were so ‘woe is me,’ that frankly, it was embarrassing.

I started to rethink the whole blogging thing. Did I really need to keep doing it? Was it just one more thing that I had to fit into my harried and exhausting day? Are blogs just for kids?

So I backed off. I posted less. I let all the stuff that stressed me move front and center and concentrated on that. Blogging took a backseat. And I began to feel worse and worse and worse. I was convinced I’d lost my blogging mojo and that made me feel even worse. My finger was poised above the delete this blog button many times. It really was but something always kept me from pulling that final trigger. Something in me just wasn’t willing to let it go.

Then I realized something – of all the things I’d done in the last year and a half, blogging was the thing that had made me happy and had brought me the most joy. It had inspired me, been my mother confessor, the receptor for my screwy sense of humor and irony – and more than any force in the universe had made me write. Regularly and consistently. Day in and day out. And believe it or not had changed me in a good way.

When I needed to write a synopsis for my novel in order to begin the agent search, it was you guys who made me meet the deadline. It was you guys who cheered me on. When it was time to submit to the agents, again, it was you guys who stood on the sidelines, offering support and believing in me more than I believed in myself. And I know that without that support I wouldn’t have taken those steps, I wouldn’t have had the nerve.

And the list goes on – from bad jobs to life’s worries, you guys have been there for me – giving me the power to believe in myself.

And I’ve realized that I’ve been going at this thing bass ackwards. It isn’t time to blog less and relegate it to something I do when I can. It’s something to put back on my list of priorities. Without realizing it, blogging has formed a close, tightly-knit support systerm for me as a writer. How could I ever let that go?

And for all the worry that it would somehow take something away from my writing and writing time, that was a lie because without blogging, I’d never written any of the many words here on this blog. How screwed up would that be?

So, now I know. Blogging for me is part of who/what I am. It is the thing that gives me the power to connect with other people and makes me write and for a writer what power could have more value? None that I can think of.

So, I thank you for reading and commenting and coming back.

WC

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “Blogging is my Power

  1. πŸ™‚ its amazing isn’t it .. i sometimes wonder how i survived in the days before …

    Hey D!
    Yes, it really is an amazing opportunity on so many levels. LOL – yeah, what did we do before we blogged? I can’t remember. πŸ˜‰
    WC

    Like

  2. Hey Writer Chick, I consider you a mentor and I thank you for the encouragement. πŸ™‚

    Hey CC!
    You consider moi a mentor? I’m honored – but beware, I could lead you astray. πŸ˜†
    Annie

    Like

  3. When i began reading this post, i was afraid it was leading to a blogging farewell.
    What a relief! This is about the total opposite.

    i am glad that you did not delete this blog, don’t even say that. πŸ˜€

    Last year, right about this time, i deleted everything i had written the previous five years.
    i deleted an art page, my myspace, all the posts i made on various poetry boards and everything from my computer except for my 2006 NaNoWriMo manny.

    i regret that now. Deeply.
    There was great stuff i wrote, but that’s done.
    i’ve often considered deleting my blogs here, especially after i got splogged, but i know i’d miss it terribly.

    i don’t think you should feel embarrassed about those weak times, when you exposed your worry and vulnerability. You never know who needed those posts, who needed to know that they were not the only ones going through tough times, who were encouraged or comforted by those entries.

    All i can say is keep up the good work.
    i’ll always come. πŸ™‚

    Oh my God, Chica-Chica – I can’t imagine how you must feel to have lost all of that work. It makes me shudder to think of it, especially since I know your work and mourn the loss of what I never read from you so easily.

    And no, this wasn’t a post about going away but going toward. Blogging has really been a very positive influence in my life and I’d have to be crazy to stop doing it. Though I do feel at a crossroads in a way – I feel it’s time to move it up to another level but not sure how to do so. Happily, I’ve asked a couple of ‘experts’ to do posts and they’ve both agreed. I’m hoping we can all learn from their experiences. Stay tuned for that. πŸ˜‰

    I value your readership, very much, as I value your words. I too, will always come to read.

    xo,
    Annie

    Like

  4. And I love what you write! So don’t ever stop.. your blog should be the cornerstone of your life… and i think it is in this case.

    Keep it up!

    Wow Paul, your enthusiasm always hits me like a bucket of ice water on a hot day. Thanks, sweetie.
    Annie

    Like

  5. “The main reason I decided to start blogging was because I wanted the discipline of having to write everyday.”

    I guess I’m still working on that part. πŸ˜‰ I’m still a blatant blogslacker. I was going to post something about getting to 50,000 hits, but as usual I procrastinated and next thing I knew I was up to 60,000, so it all seemed pretty irrelevant. Now my goal is just to always have more hits overall than Michael has in his spam-catcher. πŸ˜‰

    Very nice, insightful post! You’re right: it does get under your skin.

    -smith

    Hey Smith,
    I think you secretly like the blatant blogslacker identity – you’ve sort of branded it as your own. πŸ˜† Congrats on hitting the 50K, a milestone to be sure – and having the goal of ‘out-hitting’ Mikey’s spam count sounds like a good challenge. LOL.

    WC

    Like

  6. Glad that you are back full time! This is a wonderful and powerful medium on many levels. I applaud your thought process.

    Hey Mark,
    Thanks – now you’re one of the most positive people I’ve ever met in the blogosphere.
    WC

    Like

  7. Annie…it’s wonderful to read this, this morning! And while I wouldn’t call ‘blogging’ my power, I totally get the powerful instrument of WRITING as a cathartic, healing, investigative, lighten-up-silly tool for managing our lives. I’ve just re-started myself this past week, with a new blog because I realized how CROWDED my head gets after awhile if I don’t dump some of the stuff in it. And the Blogworld is a totally fun place to do that, for all the reasons you’ve mentioned.

    I’m so glad you decided to stick around!

    Hugs!

    Hey Gracie!
    I’m so glad you’ve come back because, well heck girl, I’ve missed you. Can I blogroll your new place? Let me know.
    hugs,
    Annie

    Like

  8. And we will continue to read and comment and come back.
    I think you’re doing okay for yourself πŸ˜‰

    Hey Red,
    Well, look who’s talking – you’re doing mighty fine for yourself too. πŸ™‚
    A

    Like

  9. I was wondering when you would realize how much blogging is like breathing.
    As of right now, I just couldn’t stop.
    It makes me write. Period.
    And that you doubted people would come back here?
    Oh Annie, my dear.
    Surf more blogs and see what shit is doing well. It’s amazing. Sad, too.
    I know, not telling you anything you don’t already know.
    Just glad you’ve decided to stick with it.
    You are Dooce.com “squared”.
    I mean that. Sincerely.
    ~m

    Aw, thanks Mikey. πŸ™‚ Dooce squared, eh? Wow, if only I had her traffic. Then again, if I had her traffic I’d probably never get any sleep, eh? πŸ˜†
    A

    Like

  10. Hey Smith,
    I think you secretly like the blatant blogslacker identity – you’ve sort of branded it as your own.

    I think I’ll trademark “blogslackery”.

    Some would argue I’ve already done that. πŸ˜‰

    -smith

    Oh you should, Smith. Maybe you should add it to your title somehow. …. Like, Murder of Ravens, den of blogslackery. πŸ˜‰ How’s that? πŸ˜†
    WC

    Like

  11. I’ve just now come across your site, haven’t had time yet to look around much. I’m new to the whole blogging thing, but I’ve been reading them for a year and a half or so.

    It’s great that you realized the need to come back to blogging. Everyone need something as a distraction. It is that side enjoyment that lets you destress and allows you to refresh and face the other facets of life that aren’t so enjoyable.

    Some people may meditate, some may pray, some do sports. I may jump on the bike after work and feel the wind in my face, watching the sun go down under wide West Texas skies, then still ride under the Milky Way. Or, as I’ve just recently started to learn, I let some of the thoughts that I have bubbling around in my head tumble out my fingers on occasion.

    I look forward to taking a look around your site.

    Hey Bikerman,
    Welcome. Yes, blogging does let you say what’s on your mind and it can be very satsifying. Since you’ve been a blog reader for a while now, it will be interesting to see how it feels to be on the other side of it as well. There are a lot friends out there who you will meet and swear are kindred spirits. Welcome to the neighborhood and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
    WC

    Like

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s