You Might Be an Irish Imposter If…

Ah, St. Paddy’s Day is upon us and it is the day in which everyone ‘becomes’ Irish. The demonstrations of same range from the ridiculous to the more ridiculous. Being half Irish and this being the day of my momentous birth, I’m pretty good at spotting the Celtic fakers.

You may be an Irish faker if:

1. You’re the first one in line to order that green McShake at McDonald’s.

2. You threaten to pinch anyone who is not wearing green.

3. Despite your shamrock dress with matching green shoes and bag, your last name is Jablonski.

4. You think that St. Patrick is the patron saint of getting hammered.

5. You believe you can actually sing Danny Boy.

6. You wear shamrock earrings with high heels and latex pants.

7. You think that the Blarney Stone is a new Irish high.

8. You believe that Stonehenge is a freak of nature as opposed to stones being held up by faeries.

9. You drink Guinness cold and you don’t like pickled eggs.

10. You don’t know what Colcannon is.

11. You believe that step dancing is something you do with a ladder.

12. You think the Old Sod is that bad patch in your lawn.

13. You believe that Shillelagh is that new pop star who performed on American Idol elimination day.

14. You think soda bread is bread you eat with Coke.

I’m sure there are many other tells – and feel free to add any you happen to know.

And in honor of the day, I leave you with my St. Paddy’s Day haiku:

St. Paddy’s Day

Pints and pickled eggs
lasses steppin’ to the pipes
the rivers are green.

copyright 2008

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26 thoughts on “You Might Be an Irish Imposter If…

  1. 15. You think you can Irish step dance, just because you’ve seen (Michael Flatley in) Riverdance.

    16. You think Ballykissangel is an actual place in Ireland.

    17. You think that a Leprechaun is an animal from the same family as the chameleon (only green of course).

    18. You think faking an Irish accent makes you cool.

    That’s all that I can think of.

    LOL Spaz,
    If I tried to impersonate Michael Flatley, there’d be people waiting in line at the emergency room. πŸ˜†
    WC

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  2. From a proud Scott to the lass from the Green Isle: I totally forgot today was St. Patricks day, but I donned a proud green sweater anyway because the day looked chill.

    So for solidarity with my fellow Breton from the Green Isles, here’s to St. Patricks day.

    And you to, me scottish friend. πŸ˜‰
    WC

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  3. thank you for checking out my blog — happy birthday! last st patrick’s day i was watching a thin lizzy tribute band in NY. there are more irish people here than in ireland if you believe everyone. it seemed more low key in dublin. i’m descended from irish catholics and iwas made to feel embarassed that i couldn’t sing danny boy, oops!

    Hey Insom!
    The secret is that very few people can sing danny boy. The range required is really pretty hefty. πŸ˜‰
    WC

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  4. Happy Birthday, Annie! Hip hip Hurrah! Hope you have a great day. πŸ™‚

    Love the cartoon and the list. I’m a quarter Irish and I can sing Danny Boy but not the second verse of the Aussie anthem, so I’m a bit worried now. (Is it just me, by the way, or is the link to that video not working?) Love the haiku as well. Very elegant. πŸ˜‰

    These were the few I could come up with.

    19. You think a Leprechaun will give you marijuana rather than a pot of gold.

    20. You wear a four-leaf clover without know what it means.

    21. You paint a black cat green for St. Patrick’s Day for good luck.

    22. Someone tells you it’s Murphy’s Law and you wonder who the hell Murphy is.

    LOL – yes, that pot ‘o’ gold could be a subjective thing, eh, CJ? Too funny.
    WC

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  5. Wasn’t Stonehenge built by dinosaurs?

    Oh yeah, dinosaur faeries…yeah, that’s it. πŸ˜‰
    A

    PS: I finally got to make a comment on your blog – don’t know why it was so mean to me earlier.

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  6. A very happy birthday to you, and a fortunate date you wound up with! I posted a good Chieftains video in honor of the day. No Irish in me, but I do have a lot of Scots….and English, and Austrian, and Czech, and Cherokee… πŸ˜›

    Ah, the Chieftans…nothing like a Guinness and a good rebel song to get you going. πŸ˜‰
    WC

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  7. Yay Annie! Happy Birthday . . and Happy St. Patrick’s to boot!
    Hope you had a wonderful day!

    Thanks, honey – happy birthday to you too. πŸ˜‰
    Annie

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  8. Came across your blog from silentverses.com and thought this post was rather humorous. Im not Irish or anything around the area, but I do find it ridiculous to see all people go crazy for St. Paddys Day when they dont know anything about it. I saw plenty of people doing #6 (its great to have pride, but sometimes it can go overboard). πŸ˜›
    Great haiku.

    Hi Angelica & welcome. Yeah, that number 6 sure does seem to have blossomed, eh?
    WC

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  9. Love your haiku and it’s before midnight so hopefully not too late to say Happy Birthday. Best of health, fortune and happiness to you WC!

    I’m not Irish but I know that any beer that I can’t drink at room temperature isn’t worth drinking at all. One reason I don’t like too many American brands.

    Hey Teens!
    So, you too are a beer snob? Why am I not surprised? I love finding new beers, especially ales and stouts, although some of the microbrews are yummy too. Have you ever had Red Weasel? It’s most delicious. πŸ™‚
    Annie

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  10. Happy Birthday, Annie. The really scary thing is that you and I almost had the same birthday. I should have been born on the 17th, but I was three days late. A slacker right from birth, I was. As it is, we both share the same astrological sign.

    Life is full of irony.

    -smith

    LOL Smith, I’m not sure why it’s scary that we almost had the same birthday – but if it’s any consolation to you, I was born two weeks early – never have been very patient I guess. πŸ™‚
    WC

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  11. HAPPY BIRTHDAY?????? I suck. Um. Okay. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR NEXT YEAR. I’m early!!!! πŸ˜›

    XOXOX Ali

    PS YES THE POST MADE ME LMAO — again. Clever WC.

    No worries, honey – birthdays are just birthdays, you know? Glad you got a chuckle.
    Annie

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  12. Happy belated burthday, came here via Anonymum’s. Hope you had a fantastic day πŸ™‚

    Hi Gemisht – yes, I’ve seen you in the halls over at Mum’s – nice to see you here. Thanks for the good wishes.
    WC

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  13. Hmmm – Red Weasel? Never have had it. But I’m willing to try. I’m not a big drinker and I don’t have it often but when I do,I want it to be GOOD! And like you said, the ales and stouts are the way to go. πŸ˜‰

    Red Weasel isn’t a stout or ale but a red beer, which is sweeter and lighter – but as I said, quite yummy and you can get it at TJs – also they have Mississippi Black and Tan which comes in a cool little jug type bottle. Try it!
    WC

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  14. How’s the hangover?

    No hangover at all. I actually have a policy that I never drink on my birthday – I figure somebody has to be sober and it might as well be me. I didn’t even have cake or anything over the top. A very quiet day, actually. Boring, I know. πŸ˜‰
    WC

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  15. Happy Birthday. Well a day late, but I suppose better late than never.

    I stopped having birthdays quite some time ago. The damn things just collect dust and get in the way. Why just the other day I stubbed my toe on one I had left on the floor. I think it was my 27th. I kicked that thing into the backyard adding more insult to injury.

    /Note to self…. wear shoes or boot when knocking stuff.

    Thanks Squawky, but I know what you mean – birthdays are starting to get irritating and something to kick to the curb. This one went out with barely a whisper.
    Annie

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  16. Birthday wishes a little late, sorry.

    And did you really see my latex pants with the high heels? I looked fab, didn’t I.
    Tee-Hee.

    Well sweetie, if anyone can carry off latex pants and high heels, it’s you. Just on sheer attitude alone. πŸ˜‰
    WC

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  17. Happy Birthday WC and Happy St Paddy’s Day too.. Hard to believe that 24 years ago I was in Dublin…17 years old and in the emerald isle on a 10 day vacation for a basketball tournament.. took in the sights went to the Guinness Brewery tosssed down a few pints… of Guinness and some Harp and some steak and kidney pie… πŸ˜‰

    Hey Ger!
    You know, one of my fantasies is to celebrate at least one of my birthdays on the Old Sod. I still think I might be able to pull it off. πŸ˜‰
    WC

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  18. It’s a fine place to be for St. Patrick’s Day back then things were so different now Dublin is nothing like it was in 1974 when I was there.. the guest house we stayed at got their milk delivered by horse drawn cart back then.. I don’t think that is still the case though

    You know, I don’t know about that. I had a friend who went to Ireland a couple of years ago and she mentioned things like carts and fresh cream and lots of quaint and old fashioned things. It could be though that Dublin isn’t like that now.
    WC

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  19. Have you seen Swift Kids for Truth?
    Hilarious.

    Obama was in town this morning.
    i totally missed it.
    i would see anyone who came here because people don’t come here.
    They only go to Portland or Eugene. 😦

    Miss you! i’ll email soon. i’m alive but there’s lots going on.
    Stay awesome.

    ~c

    Hey Chica-Chica!!!
    So glad to see you.

    I never have seen the Swift Kids for Truth – what’s it about?

    I know what you mean about people not coming to your town – mine either. We’re both in bodunk, I guess. πŸ˜‰

    I look forward to hearing from you and learning your news. I’ve been a little worried about you. πŸ™‚
    A

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  20. ima dork!
    Sorry, Annie. i replied on the wrong post.

    Happy belated Birthday.
    i’m sorry i missed it and i hope it was blessed and joyful.

    Don’t worry about it – you can reply to any post you want. The birthday was remarkably odd – lol – has to be the weirdest birthday I’ve ever had actually. Talk soon.
    A

    Like

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