Do You See in Yourself What You See in Others?

Maybe you should. Think about the people in your life whom you admire. Consider why you admire them. What qualities or characteristics do they possess that you find attractive, desirable and admirable?

Go ahead and think about it for a minute – even go so far as to list out a few of those sterling qualities. Do you find that many of them share the same or similar qualities? Do you suppose that’s just some sort of freaky accident?

Let’s take it a step further – and say there really isn’t anyone in your life for who you feel any deep admireation – is there a celebrity or public figure whom you admire? What is it about them that inspire admiration in you? Really think about it for a minute, you may be amazed by what you discover.

The old adage says, ‘opposites attract’ the theory seeming to be tht we are attracted to things in other people that we lack and do not possess. I wonder, is that really the case? If so, is that attraction or are we just coveting something we wish we had?

Personally, I believe that no matter what the surface signals seem to tell you, that you would, if you were to probe further, discover that beneath those ‘differences’ lie many shared qualities. Maybe you are warm and fuzzy and your mate is cooly logical or detached – but when you look further you find you are both deep thinkers. How you arrive at those thoughts may be more a matter of choice of approach than in any real difference. Or they are the life of the party while you are shy – yet people respond to both of you because of a special spark that you both have. See where I am going here?

I’ve come to realize that all of the people I like and admire do in fact, have a lot of qualities that I possess. They may not manifest in the same way, they may have different approaches but still, they are when you boil it down to the essence similar.

The point of this meandering is not to say that we are egotistical at heart and only seek to find likenesess in others but more that we admire people and think, ‘wow, if only I were like that,’ without ever seeing, that in fact, we are like that. That we have as many admirable qualities as anyone whom we admire. That we have talents and fine characteristics that others find admirable too. That when we look at others, perhaps we are looking at our own reflection and that that is really okay.

What do you think?


10 thoughts on “Do You See in Yourself What You See in Others?

  1. You know, i’m not sure.
    When i see things in others i have myself, i feel kind of put off.
    i read that the traits in others that irritate you are things we dislike in ourselves.

    i tend to admire quiet people- quiet but strong.
    i have a bigass mouf that loves to eat foot.

    i admire wholesomeness.

    i respect integrity and i think i have integrity-
    but i hate to say that because my heart will feel or think somethings that contradicts that.

    Your posts have been very thoughtful and i admire that delving, that thoughtfulness.
    i respect your discipline.
    i haven’t posted in a week.

    Hey chica Chica,
    Well, I admit when I see things I don’t like in myself in others it puts me off too. But what I meant was we spend so much time admiring others for things they are and do and I think if you thought about it, you’d see a lot of you in them.

    So, you haven’t posted in a week – good words take time.


  2. I think there is both. Whatever you don’t like in someone else is also something you don’t like in you. Whatever you admire in someone else is also something you have within you. =)

    Yup! Now, we’re talking. πŸ™‚


  3. I admire many people. You, in fact, are one because of your excellent skill of being able to choose just the right word when writing. But I also admire myself. If a person doesn’t admire themself then why in the fuck would anyone else admire them.

    Well, thank you, darlin’ – I admire you for the same reasons, albeit our different approaches to the english language. πŸ™‚ Anyone who doesn’t admire is a head case, if you ask me. πŸ™‚


  4. Hey! Looks nice here, Chica.

    But, i knew what you meant. i was trying to say that for me, i find it difficult to accept those qualities i admire in another might be qualities i possess, and then gave examples.

    The good things i want, i have to keep wanting.
    That’s how i stay humble. πŸ™‚

    Thanks! I see what you mean now. Sorry for the misinterpretation.


  5. No, i’m sorry.
    i don’t want you to think i was blowing off your post, opinion or insightfulness.

    Never fear, I’d never think such a thing. LOL – could we fall all over ourselves a little more about this. We silly. πŸ˜‰


  6. LOL – stop making me think so much – you are hurting my brain. πŸ˜‰

    Seriously, I think you make some good points. We may admire traits in others that we think we are lacking but maybe we actually have those traits and just want to improve on them. There is no better way to learn than to have someone with traits you would like to hone in yourself right beside you. Maybe that is why some couples complement each other so well. Where one appears to be better at certain activities or situations, the opposite is true for the other, but maybe they improve each other as well. I dunno. I have to stop now. Ouch. heeehee.

    Oh sowwy – don’t want to hurt your brain, honey. πŸ˜‰ You make a good point, maybe that is what we’re doing, eh?


  7. I am thinking that I’m starting to get freaked out. I want my old Writerchick back!!! What have you done with her????? Gees, who else am I going to argue with?


    We admire the people who use the talents we already possess. How else would we otherwise recognise them, if we ourselves weren’t capable of them?

    I truly believe that. It’s not opposites that attract. It’s just that we don’t believe in ourselves enough. But I love your change of view in this post. (Having said that, I still want WC back!!! πŸ˜‰ ) .

    Have a great week.

    Poor Spaz! πŸ˜† Never worry, I’m still here. In fact, tomorrow should bring you back to the old me. hehe. Glad you liked the post even though it scared you.


  8. Conversely, may we overlook in others certain admirable qualities that we possess ourselves, simply because they manifest differently?

    Of course, if you play this game too much, you might convince yourself that everyone is admirable in their own special way. That might not seem like such a bad outlook for some (say, kindergarten teachers), but it kind of takes the prestige out of it.

    Hey QM,
    Not sure I really follow you on this – but I’m not suggesting that you just go about thinking everything and everyone is perfect. Just that perhaps a person may not recognize their own sterling qualities. Know what I mean?


  9. Perhaps you were thrown by the fact that I’m not disagreeing with you for once. I only meant to posit that the street goes both ways sometimes, that just as you say we may not recognize that we ourselves carry certain strengths that we praise in others, we may also fail to notice strengths that others possess because we are too focused on how these strengths exhibit themselves in us. My second remark was only for the sake of advocating for the devil. Sorry for any confusion caused by my last comment and compounded by this one.

    LOL QM,
    One of these days we’ll get on the same page. And then we’ll have to go out for a drink to celebrate. πŸ˜‰


  10. What do I think? I think I found a compliment in this somehow somewhere! If I admire you – cuz you are awesome and a brilliant thought-provoking writer with mad skills, then HEY! since I can appreciate you, I must have some of that, too!?

    I really enjoyed reading this post and the comments. I’ve been thinking I need to get into some ‘deep thoughts’ on my blog but I’ve been keeping it light lately…

    I love that phrase, ‘mad skills’ and yes, indeed, you have them. Sometimes keeping it light is good though – I think you have to go with what works for you, you know? πŸ™‚


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