This election cycle has seen quite a bit of apathy among the electorate and really who can blame them? None of the candidates are exciting, interesting or even slightly different from the steady crop we’ve had over the last couple of decades. In fact, in some cases, there is quite a bit of anger and frustration on the part of the electorate over which candidates managed to get to the top slot(s) – and many suspect the ‘fix is in’ . They may be right.
However, we are stuck with those who have been selected for us and I’m all for looking on the bright side and coming up with some reasons why we should all vote – and since I’m pretty sure that there are plenty of lists around for all the reasons we shouldn’t vote, this seemed like a good idea. Although many things seem like good ideas and fail miserably but that’s another story….
You should vote in the Presidential Election because:
1. Tuesday is typically an off day and there really isn’t much else to do.
2. You might end up on the evening news as an interviewee in the exit polls. Naturally, you’ll have a much better chance if you draw attention to yourself through the use of costumes and/or picket signs. The media loves cheap and cheesy.
3. We haven’t had a chad count in a long time.
4. The sooner a new president is elected, the sooner the media can get some raw meat to feast on and it’s been a paltry feasting season so far. Note: The media apparently require vast amounts of fresh carrion, ah…er..protein to survive.
5. There is nothing good on television that day.
6. There are sure to be protest demonstrations for whichever Dem candidate got cheated or shafted, thereby increasing your chances of appearing in the evening news.
7. November is a boring month and the autumn leaves you’ll see on your walk to the polls will be about as good as it gets.
8. You can delude yourself into believing that your vote counts.
9. Since it is a federal law that your employer must give you up to two hours to vote (without penalty) you will have an extra 1 hour and 45 minutes to screw around before you go back to work.
10. We need a new list of conspiracy theories, new blood in the Whitehouse will help to spawn same.
11. I’m dying to see if Bill Clinton will be our first male First Lady.
12. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can start looking forward to the next presidential election.
13. Due to global warming it may be your last chance to vote before it is proven that voting is destructive to the planet.
14. Since you’ve probably spent the last ten years of your life in front of a computer screen, doing something more exertive could be dangerous for your health.
15. It’s cheaper than putting gas in your car.
16. You may luck out and be witness to voter fraud and/or disenfranchisement and be able to sue somebody later, thereby facilitating an early retirement.
17. It’ll be fun to see what Florida does to screw it up this time.
18. This may be your only chance to vote for your dog.
Okay, well that’s my list. What’s yours?