While blogging is all the rage and pretty much everybody does it now – at least I think pretty much everybody does it – I thought it would be fun to ponder the various types of bloggers who write them. We all know there are types of blogs: Mommy blogs, techie blogs, picture blogs, writer blogs, food blogs, celebrity blogs, political blogs, blogs about nothing (think Seinfeld), sad blogs, happy blogs, silly blogs, dark blogs, photo blogs, confessional blogs – you name it, if it’s got a topic you can rest assured there is a blog about it, for it, in honor of it, talking about it.
So…then…one has to wonder who writes these blogs? What motivates them? What is the gray matter and driving force behind them? Here’s my list:
1. The Theme Junkie: This is a blogger who has gone through every theme in the free blogging universe and is still restless and unsatisfied with the look of their blog. Whether it be graphics or function, they simply can’t get their proper jones with any acceptable themes in a free blog forum and so are driven to GoDaddy to set up a self-hosting account and then spend, hours, days, weeks, perhaps months looking for just the right theme, often crashing their blogs in the process. Going to their blogs is sometimes like going to a house where the owner is constantly repainting the livingroom. The great thing about Theme Junkies is that they are adventurous, flexible and love to try new things.
2. The Bi-Polar, Tri-Polar or Quad-Polar Blogger: This is a blogger who has more than one blog and may have what I call Multiple Blogger Personality Syndrome. This blogger cannot say everything they have to say on one blog. It simply isn’t possible. There are so many topics and so little time. They spend at least six hours a day on their many blogs and whenever a new idea hits them, they start a new blog. Some of them may eventually settle on one blog or find that there is one blog from which they gain the most satisfaction – but they are reluctant to relinquish their other blogs, just as they would not relinquish part of their personality. And it may well be that seven of the blogs on your blogroll right now, are authored by a BPB – did the hair stand on the back of your neck, there? The great thing about the Bi-Polar Blogger is that they are multi-taskers, they think on their feet, can do several things at once, have an over-abundance of post ideas and are always up for a meme.
3. The Rantasaurus: This is a blogger who has an ongoing disagreement with life. They use their blog as a forum to tell the world what the hell is wrong with it. They complain sometimes about a wide range of subjects or sometimes choose one particular rantable subject and let her rip. They often gain a large audience because they say what other people think but are afraid to opine in public. If you have a rant you aren’t up to posting on your blog, you might be able to do some ghostwriting for your neighborhood Rantasaurus. The great thing about the Rantasaurus is that they are candid, tell you what they really think and they have a blog and aren’t afraid to use it.
4. The Blogoholic: This is a blogger, while similar in mindset to the Bi-Polar Blogger and may have several blogs, is still its own type because of the obsessive compulsive nature of their addiction to blogging. They think blogging 24/7 and would think it more if there were more hours in the day. They wear t-shirts emblazoned with logos like: I’m so blogging this; I’m a blogger; and I blog because I am. Everything is seen through the prism of blogging and everything is bloggable. The blogaholic will likely blog til the day they die and never use their keyboard hand during sex. The great thing about blogoholics is that they are often amiable and frequently help out newbies start their own blogs – in fact, they are a main recruiter for new blogs and without them we would have several less million blogs and bloggers. A sub-category of the blogoholic is the Blog Whore, not exactly the same, but a close cousin. Probably the greatest distinction between the two is that the Whore will use both hands during sex and allows himself two naps daily.
5. The Fluxoramus: This is a blogger who is in flux. Perhaps they started a blog and it was going well for a while but then they decided to change things. They started to experiment with different topics or approaches and then suffered a stat crash. Desperately, they try to replicate what worked in the past but that ship has sailed. They start over, using secret blogs to test pilot different approaches or they go back and forth between one approach or another. They just aren’t sure which approach they like best. They also can’t decide on chocolate or vanilla. The great thing about the fluxoramus is that they are open to new approaches, often are ahead of trends without realizing it and can assume many blog viewpoints at once.
6. The Widgetizor: This is a blogger who is a cousin to the theme junkie. They are totally in love with sidebars, often displaying two or even three sidebars, in order to accomodate their huge blogrolls, interests, directory affiliations, badges, awards and pet causes. This is a blogger who never met a widget they didn’t like. If they are a self-hoster, they also have a love for plugins and are constantly trolling the plugin directories for cool little functions they can play with on their blogs. The great thing about the widgetizor is that they are big kids at heart, they love toys and gadgets and are always looking for ways to play. A sub-category of the widgetizor is the Plugin Wizard, one who has grown bored with widgets and has gone full force into plugins.
While I’m sure there are many more faces of blogging out there – this is my list. What’s your blogger face? Feel free to add to the list if I’ve missed any.