Scalliwag stole her heart and hid it in a sack of gold. Then buried it with a spade on an island dark and cold. The moon was just a sliver – a slitted blackened eye. The surf roar made him shiver as a slinky shadow drew nigh.
“I’ll have it back, ye pirate, me heart in yonder bag!” the comely Wench did scream at him and set his sail to flag.
The rogue then spat and spun upon his heel and at the very sight of her, he quickly drew his steel “Tis now me own possession, ye cannot have it back. No matter ye obsession, I’ll fight ye with a thwack.”
The Wench did not falter, nor fall to tearful knees but pulled a blade from halter, “I will not ask ye please!” And on the beach they battled one blade against the other, setting teeth to rattle, no mercy for their lovers.
Scalliwag took a fall and landed on his arse with Wench’s blade at his balls, he knew himself a farce.
Wench traced the mighty cutlass up his beastly chest, ran him through quite quickly and extracted her request. She held his coal black heart, it’s blood like pulsing ink then wrapped it in a net ‘fore Scalliwag could think. And with the spade she found her own dear, buried heart – took it with the gold and bade him with a fart.
Scalliwag tried to chase her to get back all the booty but the night had done erased her and gone with her the looty. “I’ll get ye wenchy woman and recover both gold and hearts!” Scalliwag screamed to heaven and cursed the saucy tart.
He staggered to the seashore and stuck in one big toe and shuddered night’s eerie crazy throe “I be a patient pirate,” he muttered as he swam and cut through frigid waters for he didn’t give a damn.
Yo ho, to see me maties version you can find buried treasure at Christine’s or possibly a rousing song and a bottle of rum at Jess’s.
Anita Rodgers Mystery Writer 
Hah! I had booty in mine too!
I can’t believe you were able to create such clever prose out of this one. I wouldn’t have been able to do this if my life depended on it, but you did it brilliantly.
Nice job, A.
Dumb luck, my friend, dumb luck. I don’t know why, but it hit in the grocery store that it would be fun to a really cheesy parody – so that’s what happened. Fire me? Really? Wow. 😆
Annie
LikeLike
Interview Request
Hello Dear and Respected,
I hope you are fine and carrying on the great work you have been doing for the Internet surfers. I am Ghazala Khan from The Pakistani Spectator (TPS), We at TPS throw a candid look on everything happening in and for Pakistan in the world. We are trying to contribute our humble share in the webosphere. Our aim is to foster peace, progress and harmony with passion.
We at TPS are carrying out a new series of interviews with the notable passionate bloggers, writers, and webmasters. In that regard, we would like to interview you, if you don’t mind. Please send us your approval for your interview at my email address “ghazala.khi at gmail.com”, so that I could send you the Interview questions. We would be extremely grateful.
regards.
Ghazala Khan
The Pakistani Spectator
http://www.pakspectator.com
Is this for real?
WC
LikeLike
AWESOME AWESOME!! applause, all ’round, whistles, and chants for MORE MORE MORE!
LOL C, you cwack me up. *bowing* Thank you, thank you, no, no, thank you. I had fun with it. Who knows how my twisted mind comes up with this stuff.
LikeLike
i totally love it, you saucy tart! Great rhyme, great story, a strong woman, a fart and you know how i feel about that!
This was a tough assignment but you did quite well with it.
Hey Chica,
LOL, yes, I’m a saucy tart, that would be me. I have to tell you after I came up with that fart line it was downhill from there – I got such a bad case of the giggles I could hardly write. Well, I have no one to blame but myself for this theme – I can’t help it though, I love the sound of the damn word. Who knew it would be such a bitch to write something from it? Sorry, girls, I won’t do it again.
Annie
LikeLike
Maybe I can’t really fire you, since it was mostly your idea and all.
But this? This was really quite brilliant.
And I hope to God christine comes up with something useless next week. Easy, for the love.
LOL, well that’s a relief. 😆 Well thanks for saying it’s brilliant I did have fun with it – even though it really came in the 11th hour for me, which freaked me out a bit.
Oh-oh it’s Christine’s turn next – the last one was swimming pool…oh well, I always panic before the penny drops. No reason it should be any different next week.
Love
Annie
LikeLike
Wow – I’m so impressed with this. I love silly parodies as you may have guessed. I’m amazed at how quick you pulled it together. But I totally understand about how sometimes an idea hits you and you have to run with it. Nice job, Annie – this gave me so many smiles. “she bade him with a fart” and “the night had done erased her” – brilliant. And funny. A great combination. 🙂
Hey Teens,
Yeah it is funny how something will just stick in your head til you do it. Actually, I’d been waiting about 3 weeks for this, until it was my turn for a theme. I had fun with it, obviously – and lol, yeah the fart line was inspired, eh? Honestly, it still makes me giggle. Thanks.
Annie
LikeLike
Argghh, ye saucy wench have stole my heart as well with such a cleverly told tale. An excellent story is this bodice ripper. Now I’m wondering if the next could have a comely stripper.
Arrr and Ahoy me Evyl! I’m glad you enjoyed my pirate romp – but I think I shall leave the comely stripper to your expertise. 😉
Your truly in saucy wenchery,
Annie
LikeLike
BTW, I just read your interview at the Pakistani Spectator. Great interview and you were far too kind to list me. You had me blushing like a little schoolgirl.
Oh you did? How the hell did you even learn about it? I have make a post about soon. Naw, I wasn’t far too kind and I thought you liked blushing like a schoolgirl. 😳 Hehe
Annie
LikeLike
***Clap, Clap, Clap***
“Drink up me hardies, yo ho!” A toast to you, for that poem!
I luv anything to do with pirates, including rum.
Q: Do you know why the kids couldn’t go see the pirate movie?
A: It was rated aaaargh.
Sorry, couldn’t resist. LOL 😀
Oh Mrs. V, you’re a woman after my own heart. That was a really bad pirate joke. Too funny.
Annie
LikeLike