She sat down at her desk, blew on the hot coffee before she took a sip and lit a cigarette…
As I sit here in early morning daze and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes – trying to lift the fog of bad dreams and lousy sleep, my mind grasps nothing but the thought of you.
I wonder where you are and what you are doing. If there is music or fresh air, sunshine or rain in your little corner of the world. What you ate for breakfast, if you sleep in contented suspension and dream of good or terrible things.
I wonder what you would do if your doorbell rang and it was me. Would you still know me? Would I be welcomed with embrace or slamming door? I wonder too, what would happen if my doorbell rang.
It’s funny what we wonder, isn’t it? Why people can’t get along, why they hurt each other. Why the sky is blue and the sunset takes your breath away. Why chocolate tastes so good. Why money is such a problem.
The whys and you get wrapped up in my mind like a giant ball of string – no beginning, no end. And I’m left with a mess of everything and nothing. Wondering how you are while trying to think of anything but you.
And she folded the paper in three parts and tucked it in an envelope – sealed it without addressing it. Then put it in the drawer with the others.