Why Meltdowns are Fun

We’ve all had them – meltdowns. Usually in the overall scheme of things they aren’t that bad and don’t last that long – usually. Even if we think we are losing our ever-loving minds, there is that sane little voice in the back corner of our minds reassuring us that it’s not permanent, right. And we really do try to keep them in check, grinding our teeth, biting our tongues, kicking inanimate objects, repeating positive affirmations, giving ourselves pep talks about our inner strength, right? Well hell, sometimes you just have to let loose. And really there are some very good reasons to do so and they really can be fun because….

1. You can never break too much Ikea furniture
Let’s face it, Ikea is only in business for college students and people who need to have affordable hissy fits. Plus there are all those random leftover parts that we haven’t a clue what to do with either, right. So, let her rip. You can always go back for more, it’s so affordable and they have those funny little carts too. Caution – do not use remains for kindling, unless a trip to the emergency room sounds like fun.

2. The extra adrenaline burns calories at a higher rate and you may just be able to fit into last summer’s skinny jeans.
A good meltdown is really is like a veritable aerobics workout, what with all the muscle extension and running through the house screaming – the accelorated adrenaline is guaranteed to melt 5 lbs right off. Warning – do not destroy the bathroom – you may find you have to pee a lot during these episodes.

3. The creepy dude at the local grocery store will give you wide berth because you’re so scary when you look that way.
We all know that creepy people simply can’t take hints – going over the top (especially if dressed in a ratty bathrobe and bunny slippers ) will be more than enough to scare them so much that they refuse to leave their basement apartments in their mom’s house.

4. Having cut up all your clothes with scissors means you get a new wardrobe.
Who doesn’t want a new wardrobe? I mean really, it’s a win-win. And after that tirade who would challenge you about buying one? Who would dare? Tip – It really helps if you start a little tear before you stage the fit, so much easier and works really well for dramatic effect.

5. It gives you an opportunity to say all the mean things you can’t say when you’re feeling sane.
Admit it, there are some things you’ve been dying to tell your mother-in-law, your nosy neighbor or that jerk in the next cubicle right? This is especially true for really nice people, they simply cannot bring themselves to say mean and rude things until they have worked themselves up into a positive frenzy – and do they need the relief! Have pity on them, it’s not easy being nice all the time.

6. Chocolate wouldn’t dare stick to your hips when you’re in this state.
And with the extra calorie burn this becomes a win-win situation.

7. It’s good for your complexion – all that coursing blood leaves a nice rosy glow.
Especially nice on those days where you don’t feel like doing make-up. I’m telling you, if Avon could get this stuff in a jar they’d sell a million of them.

8. You scare all the right people.
The guy down the street who brings his dog to pee on your lawn, your mother-in-law, your daughter’s scrungy boyfriend and that dude who won’t take no for an answer. If your meltdown is good enough and loud enough, you could be free of these jokers for a good 6 months. Which really could be worth the furniture and wardrobe replacement.

9. Your kids will actually behave for the rest of the day.
Granted it’s only temporary but you might be able to get in a nap or even a solitary trip to the bathroom out of it. Again, we don’t typically like to scare our children, the little angels but well sometimes Mummy just needs some peace, eh?

10. Once you return to normal, everything seems so much better.
What once seemed a dull, lackluster existence now looks like a peaceful oasis for inner regeneration. It’s all a matter of perspective, don’t you think? I think I can almost hear Joanie Mitchell singing, “Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone…”

As always, feel free to add to the list.

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12 thoughts on “Why Meltdowns are Fun

  1. I love an awesome dramaqueen moment – and I’m totally with you on #5 & #8, while I’m thoroughly glad I never have to deal with #9…

    LOL – I know, aren’t drama queen moments the best? Loved your choices. And I no longer have to deal with #9 either. πŸ˜‰
    Annie

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  2. You forgot your significant other becoming wary and cooperative for a while when he thinks you are the brink of insanity! πŸ˜‰ LOL

    Great list!

    Right you are, Bettina. It should be part b of number 9, eh? πŸ˜‰
    Annie

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  3. Hi Funny Annie,

    Your list had be laughing so much Oh Yes ! Meltdown always great for cheap weight loss,

    Yes ! Gives you a rest from parental responsibilities and is great for guilt issues if your an addict and want a joint and if your a sex addict Whoo Hoo !! Your shagging all week Hehe!!

    Meltdown also gives you the oppurtunity to go from wooden window frames to PVC double glazing frames.

    Meltdown also gives you the oppurtunity to make new friends Hehe!! You have to.

    Laughing. Hope this is in my head this afternoon and fun comes flooding in with Meltdown.

    Meltdown is great for laziness and for all hypochondriacs.

    Love Di – In need of a Meltdown – Argh ! Just kidding – I take that comment straight back. Smiling.

    LOL Di – cheap weight loss. A-yup. I’m there. πŸ˜‰
    Annie

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  4. I love this phrase: a peaceful oasis for inner regeneration!

    write on!

    Hey C!
    Me too, wish I could find that place. πŸ˜† Maybe I just haven’t had a big enough meltdown yet, eh?

    Annie

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  5. I absolutely loved this post. It made me feel so much better today. I’m probably just going to start at #1 and work my way to #10 then I can be myself again. Thanks, Annie. I just got online for just a few minutes and when I saw the title of your post I felt it was calling out to me to read. Thank goodness I did. It really put me in a different frame of mind today. I think I can handle my son when he calls me from the church parking lot he slept in last night. I know he is doing drugs again and suddenly after reading your post I know what to say to him. He wants to come home for a few days if his truck will make it. I’m going to say “Sure, but before I even talk to you I am going to drug test you”. That will force him to either live out the rest of his days in the church parking lot or go to rehab and then come home where my husband will buy his truck from him and put him on a plane headed south.

    I love you,
    Joanie

    Aw Joanie,
    I love you too. I’m glad the post got your fire in the belly going. Yup, sounds like tough love is the right way to go. Be strong – I know you can. Big hugs.

    Love
    Annie

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  6. I never had melt downs. Way too much in control of myself. But let’s just say finding out that LTR#2 was in love with one of his co-workers for the whole 10 years he worked with her, and had finally done something about it (read have sex with her) was a bit too much for me. So, at 3 a.m. I calmly walked into the kitchen. Carefully lifted my dishes off the stack to get at one of his dishes (we had combined households). Carefully replaced my dishes, then hurled one of his plates onto the kitchen floor. It made the most satisfying shattering sound (better the plate than me) and threw bits of plate everywhere. The Siamese rushed into the kitchen hair standing on end. LTR#2 rushed into the kitchen hair standing on end and yelled “What did you do?” I looked at him straight in the eyes, said “I broke one of your plates”, then went to bed and slept soundly. Oh, it felt GOOD! I highly recommend buying a cheap set of plates for melt down emergencies.

    Hey Panther,
    Something tells me one mere shattered plate from you – could rock itself around the globe. πŸ˜‰ Glad it wasn’t my plate. πŸ˜†
    WC

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  7. I’m thinking that it also allows normal crimes to become “crimes of passion.”

    Less prison time, you know. πŸ˜€

    True and if you’re really lucky they call it temporary insanity or name a syndrome after you and after some funny pills, they just forget the whole thing. πŸ˜† Of course I would have no such luck and probably would be making license plates until Friends was out of syndication. πŸ˜‰
    Annie

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  8. Ah, LOL! Annie – this is great. I agree that a good meltdown is like a good spring cleaning of the old mental faculties. It needs to be done once in a while and is just so therapeutic. Of course, after I have one myself, I’m sometimes one of the people left sitting there going, “What the hell just happened?” LOL

    Yeah Teens, you know, I say that a lot to myself…’what the hell just happened?’ Maybe I should get more exercise, eh? πŸ˜‰
    Annie

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  9. Hi Annie:
    Speaking of meltdowns…
    I sense a huge political meltdown coming next week.
    LINK
    What do you think?

    Hey Nuke!
    I checked out your post – yeah, can’t say I’m surprised. As soon as I saw that he picked Biden for his running mate I just scratched my head and thought, ‘what is he thinking?’ Honestly, I still don’t know. Why he picked Biden in the first place I can’t even phathom – the man doesn’t align at all (politically) with what ‘Bama’s message seems to be and Biden has no real bevy of fans and appeals to no real demographic that would help ‘Bama pull any part of the country (like the south let’s say) so what is it? Financial backing? That’s pretty much all I can come up with. In terms of scandals, the dems don’t seem to let that stuff phase them although they seem to think any time a conservative gets a hangnail that we’ll all bail and become dems – go figure. This is the weirdest election cycle I can ever remember. Bar none. The fact that a dude who has no business experience, no real accmplishments to speak of, no poltical experience and has not even one term in any office under his belt, is actually a candidate for POTUS still gobsmacks me. But I guess more and more life is reflecting television – all form over substance. Makes you want to win the lotto and go buy island somewhere to wait it out. Know what I mean?

    Annie

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  10. Your lists are always so entertaining. I use to have some major meltdowns when the kids were younger. Now, not so much – but, I adore this list, you are so hilarious! You go places with an idea that I could never go which is why reading your work is the best.

    Hey Bella,
    Well you’re not alone – I remember when I had kids in my life – I was ms. meltdown and often. Now we’ve both mellowed…lol….isn’t that great? You have to laugh at your foibles, I think, you really do. πŸ™‚
    Annie

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