We’ve all had them – meltdowns. Usually in the overall scheme of things they aren’t that bad and don’t last that long – usually. Even if we think we are losing our ever-loving minds, there is that sane little voice in the back corner of our minds reassuring us that it’s not permanent, right. And we really do try to keep them in check, grinding our teeth, biting our tongues, kicking inanimate objects, repeating positive affirmations, giving ourselves pep talks about our inner strength, right? Well hell, sometimes you just have to let loose. And really there are some very good reasons to do so and they really can be fun because….
1. You can never break too much Ikea furniture
Let’s face it, Ikea is only in business for college students and people who need to have affordable hissy fits. Plus there are all those random leftover parts that we haven’t a clue what to do with either, right. So, let her rip. You can always go back for more, it’s so affordable and they have those funny little carts too. Caution – do not use remains for kindling, unless a trip to the emergency room sounds like fun.
2. The extra adrenaline burns calories at a higher rate and you may just be able to fit into last summer’s skinny jeans.
A good meltdown is really is like a veritable aerobics workout, what with all the muscle extension and running through the house screaming – the accelorated adrenaline is guaranteed to melt 5 lbs right off. Warning – do not destroy the bathroom – you may find you have to pee a lot during these episodes.
3. The creepy dude at the local grocery store will give you wide berth because you’re so scary when you look that way.
We all know that creepy people simply can’t take hints – going over the top (especially if dressed in a ratty bathrobe and bunny slippers ) will be more than enough to scare them so much that they refuse to leave their basement apartments in their mom’s house.
4. Having cut up all your clothes with scissors means you get a new wardrobe.
Who doesn’t want a new wardrobe? I mean really, it’s a win-win. And after that tirade who would challenge you about buying one? Who would dare? Tip – It really helps if you start a little tear before you stage the fit, so much easier and works really well for dramatic effect.
5. It gives you an opportunity to say all the mean things you can’t say when you’re feeling sane.
Admit it, there are some things you’ve been dying to tell your mother-in-law, your nosy neighbor or that jerk in the next cubicle right? This is especially true for really nice people, they simply cannot bring themselves to say mean and rude things until they have worked themselves up into a positive frenzy – and do they need the relief! Have pity on them, it’s not easy being nice all the time.
6. Chocolate wouldn’t dare stick to your hips when you’re in this state.
And with the extra calorie burn this becomes a win-win situation.
7. It’s good for your complexion – all that coursing blood leaves a nice rosy glow.
Especially nice on those days where you don’t feel like doing make-up. I’m telling you, if Avon could get this stuff in a jar they’d sell a million of them.
8. You scare all the right people.
The guy down the street who brings his dog to pee on your lawn, your mother-in-law, your daughter’s scrungy boyfriend and that dude who won’t take no for an answer. If your meltdown is good enough and loud enough, you could be free of these jokers for a good 6 months. Which really could be worth the furniture and wardrobe replacement.
9. Your kids will actually behave for the rest of the day.
Granted it’s only temporary but you might be able to get in a nap or even a solitary trip to the bathroom out of it. Again, we don’t typically like to scare our children, the little angels but well sometimes Mummy just needs some peace, eh?
10. Once you return to normal, everything seems so much better.
What once seemed a dull, lackluster existence now looks like a peaceful oasis for inner regeneration. It’s all a matter of perspective, don’t you think? I think I can almost hear Joanie Mitchell singing, “Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone…”
As always, feel free to add to the list.