Why You May be too Stupid for Love

It’s dawned on me recently that some people really are just too stupid for love. I don’t mean that in a mean way, just that well, some folks don’t have the sense they were born with and for the safety of themselves and others they may want to reconsider making a foray into that arena. Here’s a few reasons why:

1. Your IQ is so high that someone saying I love you, or I care causes you to run to your blackboard and work out the mathematical ramifications and symbolizations of those words and develope a theory on the proper response.
Okay, we’ve all met them, those really super smart people who can give you the latin name for any living creature on earth but hasn’t a clue about the opposite sex. While it might be cute as a movie premise, in real life it’s just too painful to try to explain the real world to these eggheads.

2. Nobody knows how to touch you like you do
You know if you have the system down pat and you know all the right moves, why involve anyone else? That just seems greedy.

3. You’re only attracted to people who have fantasies of running you over with their car or sleeping with your sister/brother
The stuff that most country western songs are made of – it may be wiser for you to consider a musical career or auditioning for American Idol.

4. You think the words, “I’ll call you,” really mean you’ll be receiving a phone call.
Call me, what? I ask.

5. You think The Rules actually work
For crying out loud those stupid ass rules didn’t work for our great great grandmothers, you think a modern man/woman with an internet connection and a porno url is going to bend to the rules? Is it cold in your cave?

6. You’re open to blind dates
There is a reason they call them blind dates – you know what I mean?

7. You think the profiles on online dating sites are accurate, despite the fact that yours has more lies than your current resume – oh yeah and you think the photos are current too.
Face it, anybody can say anything on those sites and they do. Hell, you didn’t even tell the truth, now what makes you think they did?

8. You think that co-signing a car loan for someone you’ve dated for two weeks is a wise decision.
Okay, that’s beyond stupid, that’s like…really fucking stupid.

9. You’ve been looking for your soul mate for the last 30 years
You know, I really like the idea of soul mates but let’s face it, if they were really your soulmate wouldn’t they just be you? Isn’t it better to just find somebody you like and who likes you? Someone you can discuss a movie or a book with? Someone who actually exists? I’m just saying.

10. You think that telling the story of your sorry love life on the first date, will result in a lifelong bonding.
Look, there’s a reason you have all that baggage and sad stories and one of them is probably that you tell every new person you meet what an idiot you are. Shut up, don’t tell them. Just shut up. Then you’ll have a chance in hell.

11. You think your date is in a hurry to get the check because they want to be alone with you.
Unless your date’s underpants are on fire or their head is exploding, being in a hurry to get the check is not a good sign. Repeat, this is not a good sign. No need to worry about what underwear you chose to wear.

12. You are incapable of saying the following words or phrases convincingly – possibly because you are unaware of the fact that they are often followed by hot sex.
I’m sorry; I’m an idiot; I didn’t mean it; It meant nothing; he/she means nothing to me; I have no need/desire to look at another man/woman; Yes, dear; Of course, your mother (sister, brother, college room mate, etc.) can stay here; I am nothing without you; Please forgive me… (not a complete list but you get the idea).

Okay, there you have it. Feel free to add to the list. πŸ˜‰

19 thoughts on “Why You May be too Stupid for Love

  1. Haha!!

    Listen Annie your just talking about me here arn’t you.


    I will be back to comment, I need to read it more. I thought you said your were my friend. Hehe! To Funny

    Love This & You

    LOL Di, actually I thought I was talking about myself – but hey, if you want to join the party, feel free. πŸ˜‰


  2. The country and western thing struck a nerve I belive it was in the moive “Urban Cowboy” the song “Looking for Love in all the wrong places”

    Well Ger, I think we’re all in that movie or have been one time or another. The trick is how to get out, eh?


  3. And then I see times where I see some people and their offspring and say “God” why do these people procreate

    Oh my, we mustn’t go there. I don’t think I have enough time to write that many posts. πŸ˜‰


  4. You think that telling the story of your sorry love life on the first date, will result in a lifelong bonding.

    SERIOUSLY!!! But it’s the first thing people want to talk about! The Lion won bonus points because our first conversation was about food and fast cars.

    As well he should have, Panther. I mean I think there is a time when true confessions are necessary but maybe getting to know the person first is a good idea? You think? πŸ˜‰


  5. The question is are we to stupid to love? or is is that love really makes you stupid at times

    It’s probably a little of both, doncha think? πŸ˜‰


  6. Love makes me do all the things that Annie has listed here and being in love makes me the craziest girl on the block.

    I lost all my possessions last year being in some sort of one way love. My bag in Switerzaland. I was day dreaming and left it at the bloody bus stop.

    Everything she says here I’ve done exept the odd exeption – The dating site. I’ve never done on-line dating. I daren’t. Imagine me on line dating. I’d be all over the world, looking for love.

    I had a blind date with a Man in Texas and I paied.I mean I paied for everything down to cigarettes, for us both, accomodation for us both everything for us both. For a whole week. I met him on-line but not on a dating site.

    I met my friend on line and bought her a car, left a deposit and got it home and on my drive and thought SHIT MAN. How do I get this to America.

    I tell everyone all he Bad things first and I mean the REAL BAD stuff.

    Is it any wonder I’ve not a bloody boyfriend for seventeen years now. Aww!! I might never be able to have a boyfriend you know. I go to crazy.

    Never mind Hehe!!
    Poor me

    Oh Di, don’t be so hard on yourself – life is journey and an adventure. You never know what may be around the corner, eh? Poor girl. πŸ˜‰


  7. I don’t know why.

    I think I’m just to stupid for love.


    Sweetie this was just supposed to be funny – so laugh. Life is funny, don’t you think?


  8. What gets me is those on-line dating services that say if you don’t find anything but losers in six months then you get six months free. If a person can’t find anything but losers in six months then I guarentee either there are no winners there or it is that person that is the loser.

    Exactly – most of them are just loser magnets don’t you think? Those places? I don’t know – 6 months would seem like a long time to hang at one of those places. 😯



  9. I guess the only other one is meeting someone only to find out that they are a druggo and thinking that “it’s ok, I can change them, my love will save them” *cough* bullshit! They might rob you blind to pay for their habit though

    Ooh, that is a good one, Bettina. The alcoholic/druggie whom your love will save. Excuse me while I puke. Un huh, if your love was that special you could probably solve world hunger or something worthwhile – and I’d think you’d have a better shot too. πŸ˜‰


  10. I’ve had exactly one blind date – and she moved out of town the following week.

    I can take a hint.

    LOL Chaz,
    I’m sure it had nothing to do with your date – unless you brought butcher knives or something along on that date? πŸ˜‰


  11. Great list – in reading number 10, though I had to laugh because there was one line in that list that would be quite different for many gay couples (because men for the most part are such visual pigs)…

    “I have no need/desire to look at another man/woman”

    Is more often…

    “Oh my god, he’s hot. Let’s stare at him a while longer then go home and have hot sex.”

    Okay then, little known facts, revealed. I guess we can make that 10a. in that case. πŸ˜‰


  12. My dad observed, after he remarried at age 85, less than a year after my mom died:

    “Love is a disease.”

    Too late. I’d already jumped into my second marriage — to a guy I met in an Internet chat room and had only spent about 10 days with before the wedding.

    I’ve retreated so far back into my cave that the next man I meet will have to be a spelunker.

    Gee, kind of takes the bloom off the rose, doesn’t it? LOL.

    10 days? Wow – you were quite the adventuress, eh? I’m in awe.



  13. HAHA! you may have to reprint this one around Valentine’s Day as a public service to help those still looking for someone. πŸ˜‰

    LOL Teens, not sure anyone would consider this a public service. Besides, isn’t Valentine’s Day the day you ge to be a fool for love? πŸ˜‰


  14. Hysterical list Annie! **giggle** Although my hubby is a #1 sort of guy, but I showed him the light. πŸ˜‰

    Showed him the light, eh? Wow, you’re talented. πŸ™‚


  15. Ha ha ha….

    It’s been a while, but I’m so glad I took the time to catch up on all your posts!

    I’ve got nothing witty or funny to say except that your list hit some nail… I’m sure there are more…

    I used to think that we should put an ad out for stupid people to gather somewhere and then irradiate them so that they could not have children. I know. Horrid of me. I thought that when I was wee little (you know, like 17 or something like that).

    I’m just much more careful about saying this out loud now! πŸ™‚


    Hey You!
    Haven’t seen you in forever. How are you?

    I guess that’s the difference between us – I still havent’ learned not to say it out loud. πŸ˜‰


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