Is there such a thing? Really? Or do we just convince ourselves that a number of coincidences add up to it?

Is everything that happens in our lives meant to happen. Are we meant to meet the people we meet? Become friends, lovers, in-laws. Is it all going according to some master plan? Or do we have some wiggle room? I’m a bit torn on the issue there are certain things that have happened in my life that I truly believe were meant to be. That were inevitable. That no matter what I did or where I turned that that situation, event or person would have still found their way into my life. It’s a little spooky actually to feel that way about something or someone, and luckily it doesn’t happen too often for me or I’d really be whigged out about it. Although it does happen often enough that I have to wonder, are some things meant to be?

On the other hand, so much of life is random, inexplicable and wild. There is nothing master plan or organized about it. As though we are all just thrown into a white water river and must do our best to ride the rapids down to the peaceful water, if there is any. And if we can stay alive long enough to get there.

I have come to the conclusion that it must be a mixture that somehow there is a fate of sorts. Perhaps it has to do with one’s own master plan, one’s own dream and needs in life and on occasion life let’s us have something we really want or to be with someone we really want to be with – so that when it screws us over continually on most everything else we can feel grateful?

Possibly even feel like we have some cause or control over our own destinies. I do prefer to think that way, rather than believe that everything is already planned and mapped out. If that is the case, then what point is there in living my life? What point is there in making any plans? None I think.

Still….there are those moments that seem overwhelmingly destined to happen, that you know were meant to be. Maybe life is just trying to confuse us? I’m not sure I have any point here. What do you think? Opinions, ideas, recipes?

18 thoughts on “Fate

  1. It’s no coincidence you wrote this post. πŸ˜› I recently read somewhere:

    “I do have a tendency to over-think things. No really, I do.”

    Oh, wait… that was here. πŸ˜‰

    Good point, Mr. Parkour – I see you’ve been paying attention. πŸ˜†


  2. I think that lots of things that happen to us are fate. But I don’t necessarily think that our lives are planned out before we even hit the ground running. I think that maybe sometimes we need to learn something, either about ourselves or someone else, and something happens to teach us that thing.

    Or something that happened maybe 6 months ago was to build our strength for something that was coming in the future.

    Dunno that there are any easy answers, probably too many questions from all of us.

    Good point, Gem. You know I wonder though if those ‘lessons’ are the result of our own thoughts or desires. Like we will these things to happen in order to learn from them? I don’t mean things that happen to other people, like a sick relative or something like that – but the things that happen to us personally. What do you think?



  3. Tough, tough, questions here. I feel that we all live by choice. Our own choices. No matter what path we choose there are more choices ahead and the outcome totally depends on what choices we make. I, personally don’t believe in a master plan, destiny or fate. I believe that we make the choice. This also leaves us with the responsibility of that choice. We can blame no one but ourselves for how are lives turn out. That also enables us to play the what if game. What if I had done this or that back then? Though it is a pointless game that can bear no winner. Once a choice is made and acted upon, what’s done is done. There is no going back.

    Interesting topic for today. My son will be home for the first time in almost 9 months. He will be here in 20 minutes. So many of my choices involving him I would have made differently If I could go back in time. It’s also my Dad’s birthday if he were still here. He would have been 94.

    Hey Joanie,
    Your view is most similar to what I grew up with. If one does feel that one is responsible for themselves then yes, absolutely they do cause the things in their life by their choices. The what if game – funny you should mention that because I had a train of thought on that with this post but deleted it – is fun for daydreaming I guess but even as a drill for writing it’s not all that effective.

    I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you and your son. I really am. And happy birthday to your dad. I know you miss him.

    hugs & jugs,


  4. Peanut Butter, Oatmeal, Chocolate Chip Cookies

    1/2 cup shortening
    1/2 cup margarine, softened
    1 cup packed brown sugar
    3/4 cup white sugar
    1 cup peanut butter
    2 eggs
    1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
    2 teaspoons baking soda
    1 teaspoon salt
    1 cup quick-cooking oats
    1/2 a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips

    Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
    In a large bowl, cream together shortening, margarine, brown sugar, white sugar, and peanut butter until smooth. Beat in the eggs one at a time until well blended. Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt; stir into the creamed mixture. Mix in the oats and chocolate chips until just combined. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets.
    Bake for 10 to 15 minutes in the preheated oven, or until just light brown. Don’t over-bake.

    LOL Evyl, you’re such a smart ass. One of the many reasons I adore you.


    PS: Yummy, those look good.


  5. Opinions, ideas, recipes…ROFL, and I see Evyl provided you with a recipe which I will be trying.

    I struggle with this too. I have learned to never ignore signs, and I could give you examples, but I am feeling lazy due to my head cold and don’t have the energy to write that much. What I believe, I think, is that life (fate?) places situations in front of us, and will keep giving us the same type of situation, until we make the right choice so to speak. That’s what I mean to pay attention to signs. I have really learned to take direction from that voice inside. So, I don’t believe that our path is predestined. Rather, I believe that we are provided with what we need to learn and grow. But even that’s all sort of fuzzy to me…or is that just the cold medicine I’m on?

    Hey Panther,
    I tend to agree with you on this and I’m not on any cold medicine. We somehow make these situations turn up in our lives until we get it right. You’d think we have better things to do, wouldn’t you?


  6. Glad you liked the recipe. It’s crazee tastee and makes about 4 or 5 dozen cookies. But to be semi-serious. I have always followed the philosophy of Doris Day.

    LOL – I love that song. πŸ™‚


  7. Hi Darling Annie,

    I read this this morning but didn’t know what to say or more to the point how to say it.I liked all the comments here. I think our future is mapped out by our choices, choices we don’t even know were choosing.

    I to think that a lot of our choices come from our believes our dreams,and this is where fate comes into play. truly do believe that I get guided to people but the guide is my own guidance, just some old knowledge, an old dream a distorted belief from years gone by that has been stored somewhere in the sub conscience.

    I do have real spooky moments around all this sort of stuff.I love the moments. Moments of Maddnes when the fareies come out to play.

    Always listen to the fareie voice, that little voice inside. I’ts yours, its special, its knowledge and its wisdom. Listen to you soul. Its true.

    Thanks for this lovely post Annie.

    Hi Di,
    What great comments – I especially liked this:
    I truly do believe that I get guided to people but the guide is my own guidance, just some old knowledge, an old dream a distorted belief from years gone by that has been stored somewhere in the sub conscience.

    Seems a rather brilliant theory if you ask me. Thanks.


  8. I think it has to be a mix of the two – fate and attitude (the law of attraction thing) because if it were one way or the other, we’d have figured it all out by now, wouldn’t we? 😯

    You’d think wouldn’t you, Teens. On the other hand I often find myself in the same situation over and over – and wonder why I don’t learn from it. Maybe there is some other reason??? Could be. πŸ˜‰
    I’m such a space case lately.



  9. Can I just come back to this please Annie.

    I think when we get a bit more grown up and wise we learn that past expereinces and feelings need not dominate our future and fate anymore we have a clear vision of whats in front of us. We dictate the vision without knowing it.

    Yes ! Its about our attitude and every single persons attitude is different isn’t. So… I think when your true to yourself and your comfortable in your own skin and have no fear ‘things happen’ things I don’t understand like occurings at deeper levels happen for me.

    I have to be at that level wih myself though for the happenings to be made apparant to me.

    Argh !! I think I’m talking rubbish now, Hehe!!

    Hi Di,
    I don’t think you’re talking rubbish at all. I think what you say has a lot of wisdom in it – the kind you get from living life and coming through some tough things. Never disparage yourself for your own understanding – truly.



  10. I truly do believe that I get guided to people but the guide is my own guidance, just some old knowledge, an old dream a distorted belief from years gone by that has been stored somewhere in the sub conscience.

    Annie, I’m going out of my mind again, maybe you could help me.I wrote that, where did I write it, where on earth did I write that.I know I wrote it to you and it was in relevence to this post but I can’t see it any where.


    No Di, it’s not you – it’s me. I apparently cut that part of your comment out when I copied it to quote you in my response. Sorry, I’m a space case. It’s back where it should be now. Sorry, dear.


  11. Sometimes I feel things are destined to happen, but I certainly believe in free will. It’s impossible for me to differentiate (did I spell that right?) which is which, though.

    Here is a small example: A small child who lives in our neighborhood has for the past two years been intensely interested in me and my children. He trusted me and liked to talk to me. I chalked it up to him being a curious child. I do not know the parents (they did not know me or my occupation) or his name and I would always send him home. I only saw him from a distance this past summer, and even then he would wave. This fall a boy in my preschool class looked really, really familiar (this is the first day of school and I was struggling to learn names and faces of 40 students) and when I looked up his address, it was this little boy who had been “visiting” me. **cue the twilight zone music** Coincidence or fate? When I brought this up to his mom, she didn’t even realize that I lived in the neighborhood. Odd how things like that happen. This little guy was absolutely thrilled when he figured out who I was.

    I’m done rambling now. Just thought I’d share my thoughts.

    Wow that is a really cool story, actually, not a ramble at all. I wonder sometimes if we just have a sense of things – a knowing? Or maybe we recognize someone before we actually meet them? I love thinking that that’s possible.



  12. I am going to make those cookies! πŸ™‚

    I am like Kaylee in that my response to share with you would probably be 3 (I might add boring) pages!

    To keep it short and sweet, yes, I believe there is a plan for our lives..a good plan. However, we have a free will. With the choices we make, we may in fact miss the best but at the same time, I believe He (God) can work out all things for good in our lives when we allow Him to. Yes, I believe certain people come into our lives for a reason. I believe sometimes I have to go through the same old thing, different faces, different places until I do learn from it. Trust me, I am a tough case.

    Now with all those beliefs that I am sure sound quite like the loonie I can be..(I did tell you that I was blonde inside didnt I?)

    Love and lots of hugs
    Now if I just had a chocolate chip..sigh!

    I know those cookies look wicked awesome, don’t they. My thighs would never be the same though. I get what you’re saying – I understand and I can say that I believe it’s certainly possible. It’s just a discussion, none of have any real answers, just what we think, which is good. I like to know what other people think. And you are not a mess, you’re wonderful.

    Lots of love and hugs to you too,


  13. Fate yes, but definitely a combo too – people come into our life for a reason, but what about the bad ones that we learn from, and then when the next bad person comes along, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, the red flags are all there, and I turn that person away…. then I’ve stepped in on fate because I’ve learned that I can make my own too.

    Very good question. As always. That cookie recipe seems pretty dang good! I’ll have to try that fo sho!
    Love ya Annie!
    Hope all is well with you!

    Hey Bella!
    Yeah, that is a stumper, isn’t it? A bad apple and then we kick the next one to the curb. Hmmm…what to do? Regardless, I think you have to go with your instincts – which is not to say your fears, which often can seem to be the same thing. Maybe that’s the trick, eh?



  14. In all seriousness, I think that there are somethings that are ‘fate’, we are destined to go through them, and other things that are a result of our choices and actions and not at all planned.

    It’s the only answer that makes any sense!

    Hey Bettina,
    Yes it does seem so – but then if that’s the case I’m sent back to this idea that the ‘meant to be’s’ come from our own causation somehow. Know what I mean?



  15. I believe that life is random, but because of the choices we’ve made in the past, our futures are narrower than we think and only certain outcomes are possible unless we make some sort of grand shift.

    People, however, love patterns and meaning, so we make a piece of fiction out of our past, present and future, linking the pieces together the way an author creates a book with well-interlinked pieces.

    I love your take on this – and I think you may have a point in general – but then I also think this. I think that there is a difference between life in general and life specific (to an individual) and that the individual in fact posits his own destiny through his strongest desires, wishes (whatever you want to call them) but then forgets that fact so that they can experience surprise when things happen and feel that life has offered them the ‘surprise’ (so to speak) in which they delight. When in fact, it was their own witting and unwitting actions that brought it about. On the other hand, I may need more coffee. πŸ˜‰


  16. You know, this very topic is something I’ve been mulling over for the last year or so. While I’ve always believed that God has a “plan” for my life, I also believe there is free will & choices involved, but the degree to which one exists and the other doesn’t, or to which they both mesh, just makes my head hurt.

    I’ve had moments, like you described here:
    “There are certain things that have happened in my life that I truly believe were meant to be. That were inevitable. That no matter what I did or where I turned that situation, event or person would have still found their way into my life.”

    The only problem is when the things brought by such destiny turn out negative rather than positive. That’s when I sometimes get thrown for a loop. If someone is brought into my life by “destiny,” but they hurt it rather than help it, was it really destiny or part of some greater plan? And if so, do I really want any more destiny in my life? πŸ˜‰

    Of course, I won’t go into any more detail on a public forum. But this post really did hit home. I think it’s a question most of us wonder about from time to time.

    Hey Dube,
    I know exactly of what you speak. I have the same conflict. If it is fate or meant to be then how is it that it ends up harming not helping? Aye, there’s the rub. I have a couple of theories on this that have to do with life lessons, a sort of groundhog day approach to solving certain issues in our lives and things like that there.

    Feel free to email me if you care to continue the discussion in a non-forum venue.



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