Let the Handouts Begin!

Well, heckfire folks, our savior is not even in office yet and already an early Christmas has begun. This little item and this little item shows that Congress really does believe in Santa Claus since apparently they want to emulate him.

My, my, universal healthcare, mandatory tithes to the UN and while we’re at it, let’s make sure all the companies who can’t keep their shit together get a little incentive (bail out) while we’re at it, eh? Noice… it’s giving me some very good ideas. I think I’ll start a public company, mismanage it, take a huge salary and then beg Congress to bail me out instead of throwing my ass in jail. I think it’s quite the workable plan, don’t you?

Grit may be right, the world will end in 2012. I do believe the meltdown is coming fast folks, implosion city no longer seems to be a sparkling bauble on a distant hill. Nope, it’s just down the street now.

Well, all I can say is Merry Christmas GM and thanks Congress for giving us a final farewell gift (for which we will undoubtedly be able to blame Bush) as we rapidly approach the end of the winter session. At least I hope it’s rapid, God knows we can’t afford too much more of your generosity – we have presents to buy too you know? Of course maybe we’ll get some discount coupons for something off the back lot as some sort of incentive to balance out all the increased taxes you’ll lay on us in order to pay for all these gifts, eh?

I think you may have to practice a might more to really get the Santa personna down though, specifically the lumps of coal angle, check the subject index in the Santa Handbook for that one. Just a tip. πŸ˜‰

Oh and Nancy, I think it’s time to nix the close ups – it’s Merry Christmas, not scary Christmas.

9 thoughts on “Let the Handouts Begin!

  1. Heehee. I’m laughing because when you write it, I feel like I’m exhaling. Like you put it into words for me. It makes me feel so much better that I’m not alone in my thinking but you just express things so much better than me. So I feel a tiny bit better in that regard.

    Hey Teens!
    Well maybe that is my function in life, eh? To put the words to the people’s frustrations? You definitely aren’t alone in your thinking – I have a sense we’re all thinking it. What gets me is that they never want to bail out the taxpayer – just the guys that donate to their campaign funds. Gee, I wonder why that is???? πŸ˜‰


  2. I love your tags for this rant. Assclowns–perfect!!! Acts of idiocy– wonderful. That photo of Nancy is very scary. Nobody bailed me out when I lost my business because Wal-Mart moved into town. Oh well, I prefer living with my daughter anyway and cooking for the family so it all worked out. But you took the words right out of my mouth with this one.

    Hey Joanie,
    Well it’s nice to know somebody reads the tags. πŸ˜‰

    Yes, Nancy really should not allow the photos – if not for herself then for the rest of us, eh?

    Exactly, nobody is bailing out the guys who actually pay the taxes and they get so snippy when anyone wants to lower our taxes – but hey, if you have a big corporation that you’re committing fraud with, Congress is right there for you – funny how that works out, eh?


  3. Oh, I feel helpless. I hate this feeling. Thank you for saying all this. I feel like Teeni, I just got a lot off my chest…. depressing.

    Hey Bella,
    Don’t despair, honey. Be aware of what’s going on but live your life – that’s all any of us can do anyway. I try to focus on what’s good and injecting some sort of art or beauty into the world – honestly, it is the only thing that will change the status quo anyway – but I like to make sure that people know what our dear leaders are up to as well. The thing that gets me is that this Congress has the lowest approval rating of any Congress in history, yet…they voted even more of them in so they are still in control. What? Are we gluttons for punishment? It would seem so.

    Anyway, don’t let it get you down. Just stuff your mattress with lots of money and I’ll let you know when we have the island. πŸ˜‰


  4. Doesn’t Nancy Pelosi kind of look like the Grinch? Only without the whole deciding-to-be-kind-later thing.

    Just sayin’.

    Wow MJ, you totally nailed it. πŸ˜‰


  5. Hi Annie,

    The 2012 thing isn’t my idea. It comes from the sudden end date of the Mayan calendar. Personally, I’m beginning to think we may not last that long. Oh, and I should also point out that the 2012 concept doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the world, only the end of the world as we know it (and, yes, there is a song about that,) implying a great change which will force a complete rearrangement of all societies. That could be anything from nuclear war to having space aliens land on the White House lawn and say, “Let’s talk.” Still, while the specifics aren’t yet clear, it’s starting to look like the Mayans were onto something πŸ™‚

    the Grit

    Hey Grit,
    I’m banking on the alien scenario myself – sounds about right. The Mayans were definitely onto something. Unfortunately, it aint a good something, eh?


  6. Oh seriously? And I had just stopped watching the news. Dammit.

    Yup, really and I heard today they are trying to get their employees to beg Congress in their behalf. Noice, eh? Where is Lee Iacocha when you need him? Jeez.


  7. I’m too lazy to start an unsuccessful business; I’m going to settle for a bailout on my mortgage. Oh, and a nice fat stimulus check for Christmas would be nice.

    As for GM … businesses that can’t compete successfully either file for bankruptcy or go out of business. End of story.

    There you go, 30 – great idea! And yeah, I’ll be waiting for my Christmas stimulous check too.

    Well, it used to be that businesses just went under, now they go see Nancy. Wow, eh?


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