The New Year List

At this stage of my life I have learned to not do silly things like make resolutions. I mean honestly, who needs a new year to pop up in order to make changes in their life? Not I, certainly. However, I do have a list of things that I do want to do or keep doing, so I’m calling that my New Year list. So this year I promise…

1. Not to spend $10 to $500 on any prepackaged diet plan, odd exercise equipment or dvd fitness sets. In fact, I will spend nothing. Nada. If I want to get fit I know how to do it, spending money is really not how to get good muscle tone, you know?

2. I will only drive my car when I feel the need to express my road rage or to prove the fact that I cannot talk on the cell phone and drive at the same time. (This is my contribution to planetary Green actions.)

3. I will not change my address three times over a twelve month period. Let’s be honest, that many change of address cards is just cruel to the postal carrier.

4. I will maintain and cultivate all my bad habits and possibly discover a couple of new ones to add to my arsenal of tricks. And anyone who suggests I might do some sort of self improvement will be immediately removed from my Christmas card list.

5. To bitch, moan and complain about politicians, gas prices, stupid people, assclowns and the general deteriorating state of the world at large with wild abandon.

6. To write even more stupid lists like this one in the coming year. And don’t get me started on memes….

7. To never shut up nor withhold my two cents about anything or anyone. Ever.

8. That when I see someone being cruel to children, animals and old people I will go out of my way to kick their sorry asses.

9. To never make meatloaf the same way twice.

10. To become one with my fat ass and just enjoy that damn doughnut since I’m definitely eating it anyway.

11. To sing Christmas carols in July and barbecue in November and wear war paint to work every other Thursday, especially if I find a job in customer service.

12. To eat chocolate at every opportunity and insist it is a prescription drug when people suggest I shouldn’t eat so much chocolate.

13. To make people laugh, to think and even to argue with me whenever I can.

14. To make sure all the people in my life know that I love them and that they are important to me.

15. To stop worrying about the small stuff and screw the details.

16. To never forget that no matter what else life is, it is always an amazing adventure and should be treated as such.

Happy New Year, everybody. What’s on your new year list?

13 thoughts on “The New Year List

  1. I’m with you on the bad habits. Just in case you need suggestions, try squeezing the toothpaste tube in the opposite spot just to annoy anyone that you share the tube with, use the last of the roll of toilet paper and don’t replace it, never take the rubbish (trash) out, if you drive someone else’s car (to practice your road rage of course :)) move the seats and mirrors, use all the petrol and don’t move mirrors or seats back and don’t fill the car up. Ok, I know that’s getting a bit extreme, but I’m guessing you have already perfected some bad habits.

    On a serious note, I hope that 2009 is a wonderful year for you. May it deliver some of your hopes and dreams.

    LOL Gem, you are a wealth of suggestions in the bad habit department – I’m really liking those. πŸ˜‰

    I would wish the very same for you in the new year coming – here’s to it happening for both of us, eh? πŸ™‚


  2. Just stumbled across your blog and I love your writing! #7&#8 are on my list too. And #10 is an ongoing battle. I mean if you can’t love it what are you going to do? Shave it off??
    I will be checking back!

    Hi Samantha and welcome to my little dive. Shave it off, lol, now that would be an original approach, eh? πŸ˜†


  3. This is the way to find me. ( I wrote the previous comment but the link didn’t work)

    Hi again – I think the problem may have been that you only used one s in wordpress when there are two. No worries, I fixed it.


  4. Nobody’s gonna buy that prescription-chocolate story: everyone knows that even if you’re actually needing Godiva, the formulary doesn’t allow for anything beyond Hershey’s.

    Okay my friend, pipe down – no need to bring logic into this thing. πŸ˜†


  5. Thats a good list, maintaining bad habituals is so important in this day and age.

    Me I resolve to post comments whilst inebriated far more often than I currently do.

    Well there you go, Mercury – off to the Moon, eh? πŸ˜‰


  6. I think that’s a great list.
    You forgot a point though:
    “I will add a drink to my already long list to buy for Spaz everytime she just doesn’t get it. Who knows maybe if she’s drunk enough she will actually have that vital lightbulb go on, once and for all”.
    Happy New Year my friend.

    LOL Spaz, you’ll do anything to get more beers added to that list, eh? You are too funny. Happy New Year!



  7. Yep. Yep. Yep. and Yep!!!

    (Especially the one about becoming one with my fat ass . . .)


    Happy New Year, Writer Chick! I’m glad to see you’re doing well–and hoping to be around a little more in 2009! πŸ˜‰

    Hey Ramblin’!
    Good to see you. Happy New Year to you and hope to see you more myself. πŸ™‚


  8. I have been so busy, I haven’t had a chance to make my list yet. Let’s see:

    1. vow to make a New Year’s list

    Okay, that’s a good start.

    Wishing you all the best for 2009! It should be a very different one than last year, eh?



    Hey You!
    Happy New Year. LOL – yes, make a list – check! It will be different I think, quite different. πŸ˜‰


  9. LOL – Great list! No lists for me though, I’ve cleared my calendar and made lots of room for all the good things to come my way this year. I will just keep an eye open for them and I’m sure they will come! πŸ™‚ Hope the new year brings nothing but good things for you too, my friend! And let me take this opportunity to thank you for your friendship, the laughs, thoughts, and smiles over the past year! Hugs to you!

    Hey Teens,
    I like your idea – just make room for all the good things that will be coming. It’s a nice switch from the usual hoping something good happens, isn’t it? And thank you for your friendship, smiles, atta girls and just everything – it’s meant a lot to me.



  10. That’s a great list! I may have to take some of your suggestions….

    Be a total pain in the ass… check.
    Make people laugh while doing it… check.

    Happy New Year!

    LOL – you got it, MJ – I like your can-do attitude. πŸ˜†


  11. I’m with you on the no resolutions thing…and a few others aswell!

    Merry Easter WC πŸ™‚


    Hey Kell!
    Yes and a very merry easter to you as well. πŸ˜‰


  12. Wait… Did you say you will only drive your car when you have road rage? LOL. πŸ˜›

    Yup and when life circumstances force the issue. What can I say, I don’t like to drive. πŸ˜‰


  13. I happened across your blog, and this is by far the best New Year’s list I’ve seen. Kudos on #12; chocolate is clearly a necessity for maintaining good health (and sanity). Happy New Year!

    Wow, my list is by far the best New Year’s list? I’m stunned. People must be making some pretty bad lists out there, eh? Thanks. Happy New Year. πŸ™‚


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