At this stage of my life I have learned to not do silly things like make resolutions. I mean honestly, who needs a new year to pop up in order to make changes in their life? Not I, certainly. However, I do have a list of things that I do want to do or keep doing, so I’m calling that my New Year list. So this year I promise…
1. Not to spend $10 to $500 on any prepackaged diet plan, odd exercise equipment or dvd fitness sets. In fact, I will spend nothing. Nada. If I want to get fit I know how to do it, spending money is really not how to get good muscle tone, you know?
2. I will only drive my car when I feel the need to express my road rage or to prove the fact that I cannot talk on the cell phone and drive at the same time. (This is my contribution to planetary Green actions.)
3. I will not change my address three times over a twelve month period. Let’s be honest, that many change of address cards is just cruel to the postal carrier.
4. I will maintain and cultivate all my bad habits and possibly discover a couple of new ones to add to my arsenal of tricks. And anyone who suggests I might do some sort of self improvement will be immediately removed from my Christmas card list.
5. To bitch, moan and complain about politicians, gas prices, stupid people, assclowns and the general deteriorating state of the world at large with wild abandon.
6. To write even more stupid lists like this one in the coming year. And don’t get me started on memes….
7. To never shut up nor withhold my two cents about anything or anyone. Ever.
8. That when I see someone being cruel to children, animals and old people I will go out of my way to kick their sorry asses.
9. To never make meatloaf the same way twice.
10. To become one with my fat ass and just enjoy that damn doughnut since I’m definitely eating it anyway.
11. To sing Christmas carols in July and barbecue in November and wear war paint to work every other Thursday, especially if I find a job in customer service.
12. To eat chocolate at every opportunity and insist it is a prescription drug when people suggest I shouldn’t eat so much chocolate.
13. To make people laugh, to think and even to argue with me whenever I can.
14. To make sure all the people in my life know that I love them and that they are important to me.
15. To stop worrying about the small stuff and screw the details.
16. To never forget that no matter what else life is, it is always an amazing adventure and should be treated as such.
Happy New Year, everybody. What’s on your new year list?