It’s funny for the last few months maybe because of all the change of space, addresses, lifestyles and then back again, I’m not able to stand still. Not sure when it happened exactly but where once I could literally sit in front of a computer for 18 hours without even thinking about it, now I can’t sit anywhere for more than an hour without moving.
When I was back east, as things got more stressful I started walking. I walked constantly. Partly because the dog needed walking but mostly because I needed walking. It was as though if I didn’t keep moving I would die or stop breathing or something. Maybe it was the apartment, the small space of it. I wasn’t used to living in apartments, I was used to being outside in the sunshine. There wasn’t a whole lot of that when I was there but even though it was often bitterly cold I just felt better outside and moving. Always moving.
The habit has carried over now that I’m back in California. I walk several times a day, often with the camera slung around my neck, a travel mug of filled with one beverage or another and I move. I walk up and down the streets, I can’t even seem to walk slowly. As though I’m in a hurry and I have somewhere to be and yet I haven’t.
Even when I find an image I want to snap, as soon as I’ve snapped it, I’m off again on my own private foot race with myself. Just going. Going. Going. And yet I never really go anywhere. It is the oddest phemon for me. I’ve always been one who can relax and veg without prompting or trouble. Now, it would take serious drugs to slow me down. If I’m not doing something I get antsy – foot tapping, lip chewing, gotta move, gotta move.
You think maybe my brain got short circuited or something? Could it be hormones? Maybe I’m eating too many carbs or not enough carbs. Maybe I really have somewhere to go, like the Mad Hatter and I’m very late but I just can’t remember where it is I am going. Or maybe things just change and now I’m a mover? If only I could be a shaker and mover then I’d have something.