Signs Your Landlady Wants You to Move

moving, I hate my landlady, funny list about moving

Since I’ve moved seven times in the last 9 months I fancy myself an expert on the ‘signs’ that tell you that you’re moving again. As a public service, I offer the following indicators that your landlady wants you to move:

1. She stops stocking toilet paper in the communal bathroom, which you generally discover at 3 in the morning.
2. You can no longer enter the house from the front door because your ‘new room mate’s’ drums are blocking the entrance.
3. When you return to your room after having been gone, the lights are on and your cat is missing. (Everyone denies any knowledge)
4. You come home to find that the door to your room is blocked by someone else’s moving boxes
5. Your room mates have the uncanny ability to multiply overnight.
6. The microwave now requires a code to operate, which you do not have
7. She ‘forgot’ to mention that band practice is every Tuesday night until 4 a.m.
8. Complete strangers are piling their belongings in the driveway
9. Random belongings of yours mysteriously keep ending up in the trash.
10. A no parking sign has been posted at your usual parking spot overnight.
11. Your room mates pretend they have never met you when you run into them in the hall.
12. Someone has painted a bullseye on the back of your car – and apparently has been doing target practice.
13. Your canned tuna has been ‘donated’ to the neighborhood stray cats
14. The food you had in the fridge has been tossed to make room for two cases of beer for a party to which you’ve not been invited.

While there may be other signs, these are a surefire indication it’s time to get outta there – and fast.

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8 thoughts on “Signs Your Landlady Wants You to Move

  1. Seven moves in nine months!! That’s exhausting just to think about. Have you thought of hiring out as a moving expert/adviser?

    Hope the new/old digs are great!
    Hey 30,
    Yeah, kind of makes your head spin, eh? I doubt I’m a moving expert although I might be able to teach an anger management class after all this. 😆

    It will be great to be ‘home’ again. 🙂
    Annie

    .-= PiedType´s last blog ..Supreme Court rules for firefighters =-.

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  2. Hi Annie,

    Of course, you could avoid all of those if you took the simple precautions of leaving a stack of Guns & Ammo magazines and a few spent bullet casings in your room, and making casual mention to your room mates of your vivid day dreams about how nice that moment of calm and clarity between going on a shooting rampage and being gunned down by the police to collapse atop the pile of bloody corpses you’ve left must be. A more subtle version of this technique can, by the way, be helpful in a business environment, where it seems to grease the skids toward obtaining promotions, raises, and bonuses.

    the Grit
    Hey Grit,
    I love your style – however, I don’t think I could keep a straight face doing something like this. I’d rather throw dog crap in their pool and be done with it. 😆
    Annie

    .-= the Grit´s last blog ..150 Years! =-.

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  3. Having moved seven times in five years with two kids and a houseful of shit, I totally understand. So glad that you’re getting your old place back!! Same roomie? Same mystery fruit in the garden? Yay!

    Happy for you, A.

    LOL Jess – I forgot about my mystery melon. Oh gawd, I sure hope so. I’m exhausted but relief is on the horizon – I’ll get there.

    Love ya!
    Annie

    .-= blooot´s last blog ..Theme Friday: Beach House =-.

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  4. Hi Annie,

    Oh I seem to remember making outfits for your melons in my head, hehe ! I loved how you’ve put the list together to funny but not if you get me. Yep time to move out on and up. Its all going to be lovely from here on in.
    Freddie Frog will be wating for you, what a wonderful turn out it turned. Welcome home Annie, Di’s singing a Peters and Lee song for you.
    Love
    Di.

    LOL Di, you did make outfits for my melons last year. Still have ’em? I’m home- it’s a mess and I’m surrounded by crap to put away – but I’m home. 🙂
    Annie

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  5. Hi Annie,

    Isn’t there a law in California making the use of dog crap in an act of revenge a felony, except in the case of lighting a paper bag of it on someone’s front porch and ringing the bell? Oh, and in the legal use situation you still have to pay a state carbon tax for starting a fire.

    the Grit

    Oh crap, Grit, (pun intended)
    I think you’re right. We’ll have to do it in the dead of night and pretend we are homeless folks- the aclu will have our backs. 😉
    Annie

    .-= the Grit´s last blog ..You should watch this! =-.

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