1. Before you give your heart to someone, it’s a good idea to see if they have a heart themselves.
2. The only person you should truly have expectations about is yourself, everyone else is a crap shoot
3. Never under-estimate the ability of another person to consume your half and half
4. If you leave that last piece of cake for later, hide it in your sock drawer, even the worst room mate won’t look there.
5. If you don’t desire to be a door mat, refrain from lying on the floor as a matter of course
6. Regardless of party affiliation, lawmakers will always make stupid, intrusive and annoying laws that will piss you off
7. Wedgies are no fun
8. Always have a back up plan – especially if you’re absolutely certain you don’t need one.
9. Bitterness leaves a bad taste in your mouth
10. Chocolate and a long walk can solve most anything that’s bothering you
11. Most arguments and fights are stupid and unimportant – get over it
12. If somebody is in trouble, help them if you can. If you’re in trouble and somebody offers to help, let them.
13. Never need anyone’s approval – if someone thinks you need their approval, cross them off your Christmas list
14. Life sucks most of the time but sometimes it doesn’t – learn to tell the difference
15. No matter how tired you are, always brush your teeth before you go to bed – it just makes sense.