Wind Stealers

wind stealers, writer chick talks, something to think about

I don’t know about you but I was a die-hard Friends fan for years. In fact, even after it went off the air I watched the reruns for years. I really loved that show. There was one show in particular I remember where the girls were reading this book about how women were taken for granted and how they were the wind makers but that men were the wind stealers. It was pretty ridiculous and made for a good laugh, but the truth is, there really are wind stealers out there. But gender has nothing to do with it.

Wind stealers, life suckers, leeches, glommers, users, abusers, give them whatever lable you like – they exist and in some numbers. The people who somehow infer themselves into your life and you suddenly find your life is all about them. Suddenly, you a rational, straight thinking individual are doing cartwheels, groveling, playing nursemate, hand-holder (fill in the blank) to the demise of the rest of your life, in favor of pleasing this person. Making this person happy. Making amends to this person for all the terrible things that have happened to them in their lives (even though you had nothing to do with any of it).

Often you have out of body experiences where you’re looking down at yourself all atither over this person and wondering what the hell you’re doing, yet you can’t stop yourself. You are compelled, you are obsessed, you are out of control on the issue and there seems no way to end it.

Sound familiar? My theory is that everyone has had at least one wind stealer. One inescapable con artist who has convinced them that they owe loyalty, money, resources, time, love, care (again, fill in the blank) to this person. That they just do and they can’t escape that possibility.

How does it happen? Your guess is as good as mine but usually it starts out with the wind stealer ‘helping’ you in some way. Though the help is usually marginal, they manage to get you thinking that it was was somehow life changing and huge and that you now owe them a huge debt. Once they’ve got you there, you’re pretty much sunk. They have just managed to turn your own good intentions against you. Your own sense of fairness and love of people into a weapon that can wound you continually. In some cases, it can be so bad that it can drive normal, rational people mad. I’m convinced that those stories you hear about the mild mannered fellow who was a good family man just one day went off and blew his wife’s head off, is in a situation like this. And one probably close to home.

I don’t know what the answer is to this because everyone has to deal in their own way but for me a clean break is the only answer. Once I’ve seen that I have one of these varmits in my life there is no in-between about it. Just sever all ties. It’s hard as hell and I’ve been plagued with doubts and guilt over it – but I’ll tell you one other thing, I have experienced almost instant relief when doing this. It’s almost like a magic drug. I suddenly just feel like myself again. Weird, huh?

How about you, any wind stealers in your life? What are you going to do about it?

Writer Chick

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6 thoughts on “Wind Stealers

  1. Not anymore. Pulled all those damn leeches off a few years ago when I could barely take care of myself. Realized that they were sucking the life out of me. And I had no life left to be sucked.

    Now? People know not to push me too far. Because I’m gonna push back harder.

    Hey Jess,
    You know, I believe you. And I hear you on the ‘no life left to be sucked’ – I’ve definitely been there.

    Will you be my body guard? 😉
    Annie

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  2. Chica, i don’t even know what to say.

    What i find difficult is figuring out if i am the wind stealer or not. And if i’m not, it’s purt near impossible for me to label another a wind stealer, even if they are. i don’t know why. Well, i do know why. It’s hard to put someone i love in that position because it a) negates any feelings i thought they had for me, b) it means i am a moron, and c) i get pissed, but feel helpless because of a & b.

    What will i do about it? So far i’ve been making a big ass mess of people’s lives, crying a lot and being floppy coupled with small attempts at assertiveness, though mostly making passive aggressive gestures that’re building inside of me a resentment the likes of which i’ve never experienced before.

    Luckily, i’ve no shotgun. –That’s a joke.

    Well honey, I can tell you for certain that I’m not talking about you in this post and I doubt seriously that you are a wind stealer. I’m not talking about the everyday foibles of life and love and so forth. We all go through that and it’s tough – but the kind of person I’m talking about is a special breed, a breed unto themselves and they do it to anyone and everyone that will allow it.

    As to your current life crisis and what you’re going through – I feel for you honey, cuz I’ve been there too. It’s not fun and ever so hard to get through. I’m here if you need me. Always.

    Hugs,
    Annie

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  3. Hi Annieo,

    Wow ! What a post – what a bloomin’ great post this is. The wind stealers. This post has touched some real personal places within so a I am going to come back to comment ( I’m burning the tea again ). I, like c, am having difficuly in wondering if I’m a wind stealer or not or at times in my life have been or been an enabler to a wind stealer. Great post Annie and I will come back again with a few of my words, the smell of burning carotts has got that real sweet smell to it now.
    Love in you
    Di

    Hey Di,
    Like I said to Christine, this isn’t about you – or your being a wind stealer cuz you’re not. It’s not about neediness and our temporary regresses as human beings or being frail at times so we lean on others.

    It’s really about people who have no regard for the feelings or needs of others, no regrets, no guilt, no compunction about getting what they want at all costs. You see, neither you nor c fit the bill here.

    Yes, feel free to come back and comment as much as you want on the post. I’d be happy to have you do so. You know that, though, don’t you? 😉

    Love
    Annie

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  4. (((((( Annie )))))).

    Your such a caring sweet being and of course I as I’m sure c knows that this post is not about us but it has been very thought provoking for me.I will be back to comment. I think I have a few things to say and a few perspectives that I’d like to share here if thats ok.
    Love Di.x
    Can’t seem to find the words that I want to use and I bloody wish I could stop saying ‘If thas ok’ yes I do know that your happy to have me here and you make me feel very welcome as you do others and thats one of the many qualitys that I love about you.

    Oh Di, you’re too nice to me. Sometimes I’m a bitch but I guess that’s a conversation for another day, eh?

    Don’t worry about coming back and making comments, when your thoughts gel, you can tell me what they are. And yes, you are welcome here – always.

    Love
    Annie

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  5. What a thought-provoking post! At first I thought you’d nailed it, that all the people I’ve withdrawn from were wind stealers and I just never realized it before. But then your comments made me realize that no, some were, but most weren’t. So the self-analysis continues, but you’ve really helped it along. Thanks, and hugs.

    Wow 30, I’m touched that this post may have helped you in some small way. Yes, it really does come down so ‘some were but most weren’t’ and that being said, let me add something. I think there are times when good, rational caring individuals can be wind stealers (so to speak) or become them. Most of the time, they come out of it – sometimes they don’t. Which may or may not help you through your sorting process. And as a rule of thumb, for me, in most cases I leave the door open, if only a crack because if someone wants a second chance and has the balls to ask for one, I want to give it to them.

    However, there are a few for whom the door will never open again. Those are the hardcore wind stealers – at least for me. And just in case you want another tip from me on this – the one thing that I really consider with people who I suspect may fall into this category is a simple question; ‘do they make me feel bad about myself?’ If the answer is yes, then it’s over. If on the other hand they just really pissed me off or something like that – then reconciliation is at least a possibility.

    LOL – hope that helps. And thanks again for your nice comments.

    Annie

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  6. Hi Annie,

    You’ve hit the nail on the head for me here with a line you’ve just wrote in your comment to Pied Type ‘ Do they make me feel bad about myself’

    The Wind Stealers.

    Do you know what Annie I think everything that I’ve needed to say or understand a little more before I made a comment has been said here in your posts and comments. I will give people chance after chance as I feel people have given me but that one line ‘ Do people make you feel bad about yourself ‘ Do people make you feel bad about yourself ‘

    Phew !!

    Do people make you feel bad about yourself, the door has got to close when that begins to happen for what ever reason that happens. Its soul destroying. People who have no regard for other peoples feelings at all.I don’t want anyboy in my life who makes me feel bad about myself. I won’t allow that ‘again’. I won’t. I want people in my life who want to share it and rejoin in it with me. I might come back and comment again~ smiling. I’m drawn to this post.
    Thank Annie and all for comments
    Love Di.

    Hi Di,
    Yes, soul-destroying, that’s just what it is, isn’t it? I’m glad the post has provoked thought for you – I”m big on deep thoughts. So are you, huh?
    Love
    Annie

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