10 Signs it’s Time for a New Man

time for new man

 

1. When asked, he agrees your ass does look fat in those jeans.

2. He refuses sex because he has a splitting headache and has them often.

3. Tells you that if you loved him you’d have all your teeth pulled.

4. He tries to convince you to create an annoymous online identity so you can have ‘hot cybersex’ with him.

5. He insists you call his mother to get the correct recipe for cornflakes.

6. When his computer is acting up, he stays up all night with it until it’s better. When you are sick, he suggests you go to the drugstore for Nyquil and wants you to pick up a six pack while you’re going.

7. He only notices you when you’re blocking his view of the game.

8. He started working late every night the day after you moved in.

9. His idea of a romantic evening is Letterman on the set and three minute sex.

10. You just discovered that his dog and his mom are the beneficiaries on his life insurance policy.

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3 thoughts on “10 Signs it’s Time for a New Man

  1. hahaha! Awesome, A. Love these lists.

    3. SO WRONG. Hilarious, but oh so wrong.
    4. Also SO funny.
    6. Couldn’t be more true. The man pulled a groin muscle recently and told me I couldn’t possibly understand the amount of pain he was in. WTF? I’ve given birth twice, dude. And I’m PREGNANT, which means I have to do it again soon. M’fers.

    Hey J!
    LOL – the whole list is so wrong on so many levels but then, that’s me, eh? Yeah, I love it when the man hoits himself and talks about how a woman could never understand the pain. Can you imagine if the future of the race depended on men – we wouldn’t have a soul left in the place at this point. πŸ˜‰
    Annie

    Like

  2. BWAH HA HA HA HA

    You know, you’re still killing me, after *all* this time πŸ™‚

    Hey Marion,
    I can’t believe you’re still reading me after all this time. Glad you get a chuckle out of my insanity. πŸ˜‰
    Annie

    Like

  3. Heheheheh !!

    Hi Annie,

    Funny funny funny and even with the hot cyber sex its you thats doing all the writing.

    Do you think we should have a little experiment. Should we try and get a new man every week for a month and see what its like.
    Love Di

    LOL, well Di, if you know where we could get that many men, sure, why not? πŸ˜†
    Annie

    Like

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