The days have passed but I am still captive
still trapped in the throes of betrayal –
Still swayed by confusion
Mislead by the gods of my desire
I wanted to be loved and
how fortuitous was our reconnection
Enchanted even…
You made the sky brighter
and gave the sun sparkle
making the world
so lovely to be in
Why wouldn’t I give up everything
For the joy of you?
And I did
But the nearer we came to
the end of the journey
the beginning of the new life we planned
the more miles grew between us
until life was a tunnel
A frigid subterranean path to nowhere
Your eyes spoke ice
and your mouth, kept prisoners your words
Ones you were too cowardly to say
and I was too fearful to hear
And I lived with my dread
of news days
and vacant hours where silence hung
like shadowed specters armed against breach
Trapped in a world
of ancient trees and total strangers
No friends
No money
Nothing to busy hands or mind
And you didn’t help
I was a burden
the poor investment
that you resented
and offered cold shoulder to
And on frequent walks
For secret cigarettes I asked God,
Why does love cut so much?
And I tried and tried but in the end
was utterly defeated by friendly fire
No allies nor weapons to consecrate me
My fairytale dreams died a wailing
silent death and hollowed me
from the inside out until I was empty
And I could be trapped no more
copyright 2010
What trap has Christine been caught in?
Can Clancy be freed from her trap?
Very painful. Even with the freedom at the end, there is great pain.
Perhaps, but I found it oddly freeing to write.
Love,
Annie
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That is the beauty of writing. It’s that opportunity to get IT out. To express it. Lance it.
Like I always say, and always mean, writing saves my life.
And sometimes, it saves other people’s lives. 😉
Yes, that darn it
Writing does have some very distinct benefits, doesn’t it? 🙂
L,
Annie
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