Why Democrats are Going Down

Even a year ago I doubt few of us would have predicted the current political climate. From voter anger, to bagillion dollar deficits, and a corn-dawg loving first lady preaching about obesity – I’d venture that even fiction writers couldn’t have made this stuff up.

Like it or leave it, I think the libbies are going down this year and with a thud. While pollsters are hedging their bets, as well as candidates and political talking heads I’m coming out and saying the libbies are gonna get seriously spanked in the upcoming mid-terms. Following are a list of reasons why I think this…

The democrats are doing down because…

1. Michelle is trying to take away our Big Macs ‘n’ fries. Americans do not like to be told what to eat. It stems from countless mothers chiding children to eat their green beans because there are starving children elsewhere. Like any normal child the response to such logic is, ‘so what?’ Michelle taking on the mantle of the Mommy of the nanny state just isn’t playing well in Boise.

2. Pelosi’s latest plastic surgery is just too scary. While I’ll admit there are countless things about Pelosi that are scary, her permanent Halloween mask has even the true believers looking away.

3. Roe v. Wade, global warming, and the race card just doesn’t cut it anymore. Let’s face it, legalized abortion isn’t going away, people have created an entire niche market out turning soda bottles, nobody likes hybrids, and essentially now that everyone is a racist or a bigot, that card is pretty diluted. The libbies really need a new issue, one that they haven’t uttered a bagillion times before, using the same tired phrases. Something like…I don’t know…the constitutional right to have hair plugs (paid for by Obamacare of course).

4. Their rallies suck. Even free lunches and bus rides don’t seem to inspire union members to come out and carry their assigned placards.

5. They failed to learn with Al Franken that bringing comedians to Washington just isn’t funny. Colbert speaking about farm workers’ rights? Really? And picking apples or tomatoes or whatever qualifies him? Well I’ve been gardening for years…so where is my invite?

6. We’ve all learned (now that Obamacare has been passed) what’s in it.

7. George Soros has finally run out of money. Well probably not, but he apparently is sick of investing in things that bring him no return. Besides short-selling countries is more fun for him.

8. The deficit is so big we can’t count that high. Once numbers get beyond a billion it just becomes all fuzzy and our knees get weak. Quick bring me some kool aide.

9. The slogan made in China just doesn’t poll well. While we Americans like our bargains and to get our junk cheap – we don’t want to be one of China’s ill-conceived, poorly constructed products.

10. Mama grizzlies trump soccer moms. Face it buckshot will beat a soccer ball and a minivan every time.

11. Tea parties trump tea-baggers. Parties are fun, bags are for garbage.

12. People really do miss Bush. Hey, at least the guy can throw a baseball, fly a jet and has a classy wife.

13. Because it’s Bush’s fault (see above).

14. People are paying attention. If there is one thing a politician counts on is that the electorate pays little to no attention to what they are doing, enacting and legislating. Imagine the shock and dismay when the libbies learned that most of us can read and think.

15. It’s their turn. Conventional wisdom says that every mid-term, if things aren’t going peachy the party in power loses. Well there is that but then there is also the depression era unemployment numbers, record deficits (we don’t mean that in a good way), 3,000 page bills that nobody has read and general disregard for the public at large. Although this could be a golden opportunity for the libbies to play the victim card and whine and complain about how the pubbies are stopping them at every turn. Oh…that’s right, they are already doing that….

16. And finally, the democrats are going down because….they are not good enough, they are not smart enough and doggone it, people don’t like them.

How about you? What do you think? And feel free to add to the list.

Copyright 2010

2 thoughts on “Why Democrats are Going Down

  1. I’m so looking forward to that “thud”!

    Hey girl,
    Yeah, me too. Perhaps it will be so loud that we’ll mistake it for an earthquake? 😉


  2. Let’s just remember that the party in power is always the one who loses in mid-term elections. That’s because they get blamed for everything that is going wrong, even if it was not their doing. That’s why we have Obama now. We need to build a strong base and keep them energized so that when it is our turn to be in power we do not lose so many positions.

    Hi Michael & welcome,
    This was in no way an attempt at saying anything is in the bag or that the ‘fight’ is over. Mostly it was just a little humorous satire to try to lighten the mood. Maybe that’s asking for too much.

    Well it may be conventional wisdom that the party in power pays – and that is often the case, however, I think this mid-term is by no means a typical cycle. For so many reasons.

    Hopefully this is the beginning of building a strong base once again. We’ll see.

    Thanks for reading.

    Writer Chick


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